Danger Girl Porno Game
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Platform: PlayStation
Genre: Action » Shooter » Third-Person » Arcade Developer: n-Space
Publisher: THQ
Release: September 6, 2000
Reviewed: 06/24/04 | Updated: 07/30/04
Let's say it. Charlie's Angels. Now, anticipate the mentioning of this throughout this reviews. Amen. The first impression of Danger Girl is that it's definetly a sachet of Charlie's Angels fever that will have the horny males swooning with delight that you don't just get one polygon busty babe to play, but in the name of greediness, three. Yes, I bought it under the pretention of what was on the cover; a Charlie's Angels pose and a promise of stealth and gunfire. Amicably shallow, Danger Girl introduces itself from the self titled cult comic series designed for teenage boys no doubt. Defined by intrique of being openly honest with big chests and pert bottoms, Danger Girl presents something of Charlie's Angels except more casually addressing the sentiment that it's expected and wanted of you to be stimulated by the Danger Girls, they want you to see them as sex objects with guns. The ultimate male fantasy no?. I mean, why is Lara Croft so popular for instance?. You could justify this by the Danger Girls's feeble fued with an empire named Hammer in which the combination of chesty babes and slippery plot ends up in - a soft porn action com?. What Danger Girl offers is pure exploitism of these three women, but it does tease you endlessly throughout the game. You're constantly waiting for something raunchy to happen. In the titles; "Rumble In The Jungle" , in the cutscenes where JC can't stop the water coming into the submarine with Sydney and you just wonder if they'll have a waterfight or when a baddie creeps up on one of them, will he make her strip? . I mean, even in the intro FMV for the first level, we see Abbey Chase take off her clothes where we see a left buttcheek and her taking off her bra for the camera to change to a Scotsman (Not me, Deuce, their leader, sounding uncannily like Sean Connery). Everything about Danger Girl deters itself from being serious, right down to the buttocks of each girl swaying as you move her. It wrecks havoc with your imagination that you shouldn't be thinking about these women. You should be trying to take them serious with the amount of bloodshed they can cause. But for what it is, Danger Girl makes an adventure you won't forget. What kind of storyline would you honestly expect from a game with three gorgeous women on the front cover, purple background and the title "Danger Girl" smeared on it?. Thelma and Louise with a hiker feminist?. Cagney and Lacey with the new recruit?. Well, fans of the comic book already know what to expect and should be excited but for the rest of us, well, Danger Girl is another chick kicks butt action movie. As Danger Girl have done so in the comics, they fight against the evil Hammer Empire. What brings this more of a biatch fest, the manual clearly shows you Natalia Kassle, a former Danger Girl who betrayed them and is Abbey Chase's nemesis. So you just know there's going to be a few slaps being thrown around. As fate would suggest, the Hammer Empire are excavating ruins for destructive power but they have one big - no, uh, six big problems - the Danger Girls!. However, when it comes to seriousness, that is one of the things Danger Girl manages to sway from and replaces it for copied attempts of ideas from Metal Gear Solid and Syphon Filter - but amazingly, Danger Girl masterstrokes these attempts and brews their own decent dispute of the action and stealth and present it with their own difficulty. The premiere impression is that DG is a spy game, with the scrolling marquee of the girls in different outfits and the theme music sounding something from Mission Impossible on the start menu. Of course, you're obviously noticing more sexy outfits and more arrays of seduction for you to play this game. If there was competition for appeal, the game would be headlining for the gold medal. That is, when you speculate closer into this game, you'll find the room you're playing this in to be cabin fever to the extent that whatever keeps Abbey's boobs that far apart, the effect of her and the other gals are indeed suffocating. Much as the humour of comic books - don't expect hilarity tugging at you. At best, you'll adore the Danger Girls but their humour relies on what they can do an enemy and how many sassy catchphrases they can commend it to. But the vitality of the game is of course - the actual Danger Girls!. First up in the team is Abbey Chase, who is the leader of the three girls. Being constantly moody and professional with some questionable angst to her. When it comes to seemingless and similarities, the design of her bares to the ever immortal Pussy Galore from James Bond However, she falls into perspective of the American action G.I Jane with less personality and bigger boobs and a sultry voice that undergoes irritation. Her missions are usually the heavy gunfire type that can prove the toughest. Also, there is a marginally high count of bad guys that like to ambush her. Then we have the sniping sensation Sydney Savage who definetly has the most physical appeal of the bunch (Or maybe that's what I thought?). For those Daddy's who had quite the thing for Diana Rigg as Emma Peel in the Avengers , Sydney is a treat for you. Definetly the calm and more collected girl of the three and the most confident, still making her a generally pleasant person. But no offense to Australians, her accent is excruiatingly horrible. I tried to relate her to someone and the one person I came up with was Bee from Prisoner Cell Block H. It's haunting - as much as her stealth missions of infiltration. She definetly requires skill to play her. And last but certainly not least (in bra size anyway) we have the lovable JC who is a new addition to the Danger Girls, who actually makes her debut in the game before the comic. She has the tomboy look, with her short chesnut cutish haircut and the denim overalls giving her the mechanical genius ability. If she was likened to anybody, it would be Cameron Diaz ?. She is very enthiusiastic about proving herself, maybe too eager as she really get's under Abbey's skin at times. And you'll be thinking "will they sort it out in a mudbath in their bikini's?!" . The tease is endless.....like JC's hostage and explosives missions. One thing you can't do is take Danger Girl for granted. For the things they have adapted from other games, they have bulked up the difficulty stakes surpassing Metal Gear Solid and Syphon Filter. And the highlight of this would be if you die, you have to restart the level. That's right, no save in between levels. No, no, no. This is both a good challenge and frustrating. It depends on one's specific patience. Personally, getting to the end of a level and dying by an inch of a completion would annoy me if I would have to endure the same lengths I did to get there in the first place. Handling the Danger Girls is an honour. The controls are simple and slick. You can walk, sneak, crouch and jump and shoot at the same time while you have an automatic lock on target. I liked sidewalking and sidejumping that proved a lot of visual and realistic atsmophere for me. The first person view mode is also simple, with a crosshair to lock onto your enemies. However, the precision of your eyes and the camera may be fixated onto each Danger Girl's arses, that really do have a life of their own. Whatever the case, the Danger Girls are really slow to move, which is something they have in common with Lara Croft. The weapons vary from each Danger Girl. Abbey starts off with a desert eagle and moves onto AK rifles and automatic weapons while Sydney Savage's default weapon is the sniper rifle and the whip (which is really hard to use - but indeed 'fun' as the manual implies). Sydney can also use automatic weapons. JC starts off with her Colt but can have shotguns and other heavy weapon rifles to grenade launchers. While the weapons are neat and beneficial for these women to outdo their sexist foes hand to hand combat would have been nicer and more wrapped up to the stealth implication of the game. And aside from the whip, the sex appeal doesn't continue here with any phallic weaponry being included. While the twists and turns of the game further puts Danger Girl on comparison with Charlie's Angels feel good ludicrousy, it's far more dangerous. The levels range from infiltrating a militia leaders house in the jungle to an oil rig where you have to save hostages and defuse bombs. Sydney's levels are so sexy that you've seen it before but you don't care. She fancies sneaking around in a museum, escaping laser beams (from the Catherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment way) and infiltrating ruins and rigs. If you had to compare these feats Abbey's levels would be starring in Rambo , Sydney would scrape into Mission Impossible and JC would easily barge into a James Bond romp, with phallic masochistic foes against them. Danger Girl easily shows that the girls can compete in masculinity when it comes to guns and shooting them. Another interesting thing about this game is the little action scenes you can manipulate. When the words appear on the screen "Get ready to press some buttons" a scene will occur that you can distory depending on whether you press the buttons allotted at the bottom of the screen or not. For instance, one scene where JC is about to be injected with drugs, possibly to make her horny, you can make her escape and deck the evil doctor and take out the guard at the door. Or you can see what happens, let her be injected then take the doctor out but leave the guard outside the door to which there is no weapons and you're....screwed. But this is only a nipple compared to the large breast of fun and challenge the game is. The radar Danger Girl has does not exactly help their voluptious bodies either for alerting them. You'll always see the white cone of the Danger Girl but not necessarily the red cone of the enemy unless you're practically up their arses. The radar also being graphically see through doesn't help matters either. This is where Danger Girl sadly loses a few points to Lara Croft. While some may argue that Danger Girl is more of a challenge, it's a honed fact that Danger Girl is too much of a challenge. As if it is trying to prove something it needn't. Yes, it's quite cool and inventive to have the levels ridden with partially unwary, unhealthy and sometimes unfair death traps (like lasers, gas and the very occassional bombs) to make these breasts spontaneously combust. It is mere frustration and agony to suddenly die by these things. My perfect example would be in the first level where Abbey is to detonate the explosives, first off, with the lack of speed in Abbey and the 4 second time limit to get away before she goes a flying, it makes it all harder. With the arising case of cosmetic surgery, Danger Girl certainly adapts to the fashion of things. What keeps Abbey in that see through low cut dress when she runs is to be answered after a woman of her statue grows such an ample chest in the first place. While you could be sympathetic that Lara does look better and say that Danger Girl sticks to it's roots by valueing their comic book likes, everything does get a bit silicone looking now and then regarding the Danger Girl squad. The FMV or movie sequences are not that flattering when displaying our beloved trio either. In fact, you'd swear that the bad girl of the game, Natalia, was the offspring of Lolo Ferrari. And sometimes that can be said for the surroundings and the gameplay graphics. The facial images can be sometimes likened to a Picasso painting (and in this case, not good). Abbey's mole (not beauty spot in this case) looks as if it has it's own postcode. But the square layout of the terrain and locations is sometimes so wooden you think you're playing amongst some of the finest glitches in playstation history. Those who though Syphon Filter was merely bad at this should be extra tolerant here. Same will be said for the music, which is atsmopheric enough but the music is never played if someone has to speak. And with Sydney's voice, you're praying the music will drown out her voice. The saturated performances of each guard who can manage about a "Hey you!" before they meet their charming brace of bullets to the, shall we say the head?. And the "Whuurgh!" they splurge out before they drop to the ground, spraying dying bullets at you. The hostage voices are squeaky and pathetically funny - just the way we like them to be inferior. The only piece of music I did like was the Danger Girls soundtrack, which is used on the start menu that oozes of sophistication and everything slinky about a good solid spy track. One thing Danger Girl is good for is the variety and passionate levels. One level being where Abbey infiltrates an underground reactor in a party see through dress where the temperature is freezing (teasing for the one millionth time) and you just visualise Abbey's nipples, don't you?. Another would be the final chase, where Abbey has to run after Natalia, where she occasionally stops in time to hurl knives at you while her soldiers peer out of corners to shoot at you simultaneously is as adrenaline exciting as the picture of the girls in a steamy bikini clad mudbath wrestling each other. Definetly the strongest thing about Danger Girl is the suprisal you'll derive out of the game. The perception of Danger Girl is the case of more than meets the eye in some departments. Danger Girl happily reveals itself to be saccharine super harder than Tomb Raider, Syphon Filter and Metal Gear Solid - all games Danger Girl tries to compete with. But at the expense of this, Danger Girl faces a lot of faults including not so cute graphics to fit the bill of having three bombshells headline this parade. The music and sound is shoddy and very ugly but the gameplay and idea is immaculately stylish. Danger Girl sounds pretty, and for the most part, it lives up to the front cover and first impression. The fact that it has blatantly taken portions of things from other games suprisingly does this game the world of good. The game never strikes more than to be ambitious in gameplay and sexiness, which are two things that make this game essential for the alternative gamer looking for something other than serious adventure. Danger Girls harmless?. Nope. The Danger Girls pull out their toys and are ready to get down a dirty to make a fool of people who completed Syphon Filter and Metal Gear Solid. And they show Lara Croft the true meaning of sexy. Can you handle it?. They're waiting.....
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