Daddy Reddit

Daddy Reddit

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Food & Recipes

Health

Living

Shopping

Plus Icon

Click to expand the Mega Menu

Menu

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Food & Recipes

Health

Living

Shopping

optional screen reader

Parenting

Parenting News

optional screen reader

Tags

AITA

co-parenting

dads

reddit

optional screen reader

Legal

Privacy Policy

Terms of Use

AdChoices

Privacy Preferences

optional screen reader

SheKnows Family:

She Media

StyleCaster

Soaps

BlogHer

optional screen reader

Our Sites

Artnews

BGR

Billboard

Deadline

Fairchild Media

Footwear News

Gold Derby

IndieWire

Robb Report

Rolling Stone

SheKnows

She Media

Soaps

Sourcing Journal

Sportico

Spy

StyleCaster

The Hollywood Reporter

TVLine

Variety

Vibe

WWD

Food & Recipes

Expand the sub menu

Special Series

Expand the sub menu

optional screen reader

Contact Us

Advertise

AdChoices

Accessibility

Careers

Privacy Policy

EU Privacy Preferences

Terms of Use

Icon Link

Plus Icon

SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

When parenting gets hard, you should just … quit? One dad on Reddit thinks so, as he recently posted about how challenging it was to co-parent his 6-year-old son with his “toxic” ex. Instead of working things out like an adult — or taking the matter to court to ensure the best treatment for his son — the dad decides he just won’t ever see his son again. He partially blames this on the fact that his new wife is pregnant and “cannot deal with stress right now.” I’m sorry, what?
In the ever-popular “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit , this dad explains that he was with his ex for 10 years, and they started dating at just 15 years old. They both had substance addiction in their past. “I caught on quickly that the effects of my addiction had detrimental effects on my body and I became sober,” he wrote. “I got my life together and wanted the same for my ex. I tried many things for her to change her lifestyle, but she always fell back into old habits.”
He’s been married to his wife for three years, whom he met in college. “I fell in love with her, the more I got to know her,” he explained. “My ex didn’t change her lifestyle, I wanted to move forward. I left her and cut off all contact with her.”
However, his ex was pregnant. “After my son was born, we had a nasty custody battle and I barely got visitation with him,” he wrote. “She used my past against me and I wouldn’t do the same, because that’s still my son’s mom.”
So, was it out of respect for his ex that he didn’t fight for custody by revealing her substance abuse — or was it because he didn’t actually want to be a dad now that he had a new woman in his life? At least he still visited his son — at first.
“She did everything in her power to make our life miserable,” the dad wrote. “Every time my son was over, she found a reason to take him home early. EVERY WEEKEND. She is disrespectful to my wife, though she told me it didn’t bother her at all. My ex even refused to let my son on his weekend with me and we had to take it court.”
He continued, “My ex was still coming to my home on my weekends to bother us, she constantly threatened to take my son away, this one time I bought clothing, toys, etc. for my son. She accepted the gifts, but ended up throwing all of it into a gutter, while recording it. The next time she came to pick up my son, I confronted her about it and she again threatened me to not let me see my son, if I get disrespectful with her.”
It all sounds very complicated and stressful, sure. But he didn’t even try very hard to make a different custody arrangement, so why is he complaining so much? After the visitations were challenging and “disrespectful,” the dad just gave up. He decided it was too much work to see his son, so he just … decided not to do it anymore.
“I got frustrated and told her to not bring him here anymore, as she wished,” he wrote. What?! So, he’s annoyed with his ex and decides to take it out on his 6-year-old. It’s heartbreaking!
Unfortunately, it gets worse. “She didn’t contact me for 5 weeks and the 6th week she texted me, she would be bringing my son over, that he missed me,” he wrote. At this point, you think the dad would have cooled off and would be missing his son too, right? Apparently not. “I texted back telling her that I did not want him here anymore, as she wanted, and to not contact me anymore.”
How could you possibly think it OK to completely cut off your child like that? He justifies it by saying he’s still sending child support — as if that somehow makes it all better. (Spoiler alert: not even close, bro.)
“I still fulfill my financial obligation to my son, I sent her $300 extra every month to take care of him,” he wrote. Then, like any a—hole man would do, he also places the blame on another woman. “My wife is heavily pregnant and cannot deal with stress right now,” he added. “I have to put our baby and her first.”
It’s hard to keep it straight. It’s his ex’s fault for being difficult and it’s his new wife’s fault for being pregnant and unable to handle the stress (even though earlier he said his ex’s behavior “didn’t bother [his wife] at all.”) It sounds like he just doesn’t want to be a dad and trying to find any excuse where this would be OK.
If that’s not bad enough, he goes on to claim to be the victim in this scenario. Yes, seriously. “My ex blasted me on Facebook and everyone is against me for putting my wife first,” he wrote. I mean, duh!
“I feel like I made a somewhat of a good decision, for my wife’s and baby’s health, not only for them but also for my son,” he continued. “The environment between us was too toxic for him. My mother is calling me a deadbeat even though I still provide for him financially. His mother made it very clear she would never change and maybe it’s for the best if he didn’t visit us anymore.”
Take a break from banging your head against the wall to gain some satisfaction from the replies — Redditors hold nothing back.
“YTA for not bringing up your ex’s past substance abuse in the very beginning,” one person wrote. “You know that your ex constantly relapses and her failure to get past her substance abuses is what ended your relationship. Did you really think that was something the court didn’t need to consider? IT’S THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILD AND YOU LEFT HIM WITH SOMEONE YOU KNEW WAS A DRUG ADDICT. IN WHAT WORLD WAS IT NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO FIGHT FOR HIM AND MAKE SURE HE GREW UP IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT???”
This person goes on to say, “You want to be a dad? Being a dad means FIGHTING FOR YOUR KID. HE ISN’T A TOY YOU GET TO TOSS ASIDE FOR A NEW TOY. BEING A DAD MEANS YOU FIGHT.”
Others suggested the dad present new evidence to the court and fight for custody. “OP needs to see a lawyer and renegotiate visitation rights with all the evidence of how toxic his ex is, including the video of her throwing the clothes/gifts in the gutter, any abusive communication from her, record all interactions and so-on,” they wrote, adding, “OP, your CHILD should not pay for the horrible relationship between you and your ex. Stop kidding yourself that it’s better for your son to not see you – it’s easier for YOU, but children aren’t things you can discard when things get difficult. Man up.”
“ He is still your son, he wants to have a relationship with you, and you have a legal right to visitation,” someone else wrote. “Your son will never forget that his father didn’t want to see him any more. It’s not okay for you to abandon him like this — you and your ex need to figure out a way for you both to have the legal access to visitation that you both deserve.”
The commenter suggested the dad not talk to his ex or acknowledge her social media posts when they trade off their son. “Just be the adult here,” the added. “You had a kid, so it is your job to be a parent. Forever. You don’t get to opt out of that. Stop using your son as a bargaining chip in fights with your ex.”
The OP seemed to address these comments with an update. He explained his ex isn’t using substances anymore and “does not mistreat my son.”
He claims he didn’t bring up her addiction in court because she was in recovery, adding, “My son was also just a baby and I did not want to remove him from his mother, who clearly improved herself for him. My intention was not to make an enemy out of her, but to co-parent in a healthy, stable environment. My son loves his mother so much and it feels wrong to take him away from her.”
The dad has agreed to see his son in July, including on his 7th birthday. “It’ll be the first time he will be with me on his birthday,” he wrote. “My ex reluctantly agreed to these terms, after I apologized to her for the treatment I gave my son and another situation between her and I .”
He goes on to say that he will be talking to her through a lawyer and wants more contact. “I told her I would love to have 50/50 custody, I would keep paying her $960 a month and to let me have my time with my son peacefully in exchange,” he said. “I lastly told her that she didn’t have to agree to the custody suggestion over the phone and that It be better if it’s done on paper via our lawyers.”
Most importantly of all, he apologized to his son via FaceTime. “I told him I was sorry for not having him over for so long,” the dad wrote. “He was upset and cried, asking me why he wasn’t allowed to see me anymore. I told him that daddy was a dummy and that he’s always welcome to stay here. I told him I would make it up to him with a really big surprise. He got very excited and started packing his backpack while we were FaceTiming.”
The dad added, “I said what I said out of anger and I shouldn’t have, my anger and actions affected my innocent son and I take full responsibility for that. I will anything to make it up to him and to better myself for my children.”
Thankfully, he owned up to his terrible actions, realized he made a mistake, has plans to see his son, and is going to try to get equal custody. Hopefully he holds up his end of the deal — and that this will go a long way to reverse the damage he inflicted on his young son.
Before you go, check out our gallery on Cute & Stylish Kids Face Masks.
The stories you care about, delivered daily.
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

You must be at least eighteen years old to view this content. Are you over eighteen and willing to see adult content?
Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. ©2022 reddit inc. All rights reserved. REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
June 24, 2021, 11:31 PM · 4 min read
Allow microphone access to enable voice search
Sometimes grandparents find it difficult when they have to step aside and let their own children be parents. While there are some really great grandparents out there who know how to respect their children as the heads of their own households, there are other grandparents who give the “grands” a bad name. Overbearing grandparents are definitely a thing and in this Reddit post we’ve found a family where boundaries are being crossed in all different directions, but it seems to start with the grandparents — and the dad’s unwillingness to stand up to his own parents.
The dad, Reddit user randomuser0372, took to the Am I The Asshole forum writing, “I’m at a crossroad right now.” Married to a woman he describes as having “very feminist values,” with whom he has a 13-year-old daughter, he explains he was raised by very traditional parents who are “extremely strict and can come off as cold but deep down they are loving, they don’t show it as much. They are the authoritarian type, just like when I was growing up but I learned to respect my parents even if I was unhappy with them, and I’m a stronger person for it.”
OK. He’s being pretty straightforward here and it continues when he mentions his parents’ feelings about his wife. “I know my parents don’t like my wife and they make it very clear. If she had her way she would cut them off from us and I know how unhappy they make her but they are my parents and I would never abandon them.”
This is where things get complicated. It seems the parents aren’t overly fond of the 13-year-old daughter, either (or at least don’t show it). “They aren’t cruel but they will put their foot down when my daughter acts up,” he says. “They don’t let her speak unless she is spoken to first. They often judge what my daughter wears and does.”
The OP has been inviting his parents to his house while his wife is at work. “I know my daughter doesn’t like it but I want her to at least be able to see her grandparents and I hope she will be glad she did.”
Things hit the fan when the daughter recently told her mom that the grandparents had been visiting a few times a month. “My wife is pissed that I have been lying to her which I understand. But now she is saying to completely cut contact with my parents and never bring them around again. Despite their flaws, I deeply respect and love my parents.”
“My daughter chimed in, sobbing and saying that I should put my parents in a nursing home and leave them to die and when they die she will stomp and dance on their grave.”
“My wife and daughter are sobbing and pissed at me and want me to abandon my parents, the people who gave me life and shaped me into the man I am today. AITA Reddit?”
Reddit commenter BirthdayCookie responded: “ So your parents are abusive, they hate your wife, your daughter hates them because they don’t treat her with any respect…And your response is to declare loyalty to your parents and sneakily force your daughter to see them behind your wife’s back? For years ?
“Yeah. YTA. Pick who you want to be loyal to; your family or your parents. You can’t have both and your family is going to leave you if you keep trying.”
Another commenter, vainbuthonest, said: “Honestly, I don’t understand how OP thinks it’s okay that his parents refuse to let his child speak unless they speak to her. How is that not abuse? If I was his wife, I’d be chatting with a divorce lawyer right about it now. He’s proven he’ll put his own interests above our child’s safety and that’s something I couldn’t live with.”
For his part, the OP later chimed back in — after reading the Reddit comments — saying: “I love my daughter and my wife more than anything and I know I have made some big mistakes. One of which was lying to my wife and not defending her or my daughter. Which going forward I will set boundaries with my parents. I don’t plan on cutting them off but nobody will be made to see them. I owe huge apologies to my wife and daughter.”
Let’s hope the OP sets those boundaries immediately, and prioritize the family that he has created with his wife and daughter.
These celebrity moms may use weed to help them with that daily juggle.
Sign up for SheKnows' Newsletter . For the latest news, follow us on Facebook , Twitter , and Instagram .
Our Host Will Taylor is apartment hunting with Mia, who wants to find a space in Upper Manhattan that both she and her daughters will love.
Hilaria Baldwin is speaking out about online bullying. In an Instagram video posted Wednesday, the pregnant mom of six shared hateful comments she received on social media.
Learn to speak, read, and write Thai and Thai script with our easy and fun online course. Nine years of experience teaching individuals and groups.
Kim Kardashian solidified her relationship with Balenciaga as she appeared on the runway for the brand's couture fashion show in Paris.
Bring your home up to speed with the gizmo over 412,000 shoppers adore.
This fan-favorite model with GPS is discounted this weekend.
I was all set for my trip, or so I thought. That's when my friend told me to always keep a bread clip when traveling. The reason is quite clever.
This super-smart home display moonlights as an alarm clock, a digital photo frame and more.
Is Amazon your go-to site for the best prices on absolutely everything? Trust us: You're not saving as much as you should be.
Amazon has early Prime Day 2022 deals daily! Save big on Toshiba smart TVs, a mega-popular blender and more!
Most Valuable Collectors' Items in the World
The actress gets real about her adoption journey and life as a single mom.
America's Got Talent star Jackie Evancho reveals that yearslong battle with anorexia has left her with bone damage. In an interview with People, the season 5 alum shared that her battle with anorexia has left her with osteoporosis, which causes bones to become weak and prone to fractures. In January 2021, Evancho was hospitalized following a car accident that left her back broken in two places, and was soon diagnosed with osteoporosis.
Flirty and feminine, the little black dress of your dreams is on sale!
Don't miss this early Prime Day deal — with Alexa built-in, the wireless controller is a 'hidden gem.'
Becca Tilley is getting candid about injectables. The former Bachelor contestant, who recently joined longtime girlfriend Hayley Kiyoko in her music video “For the Girls,” did an AMA on her Instagram Story on Tuesday during which a follower asked her whether she’s ever used injectables. Tilley replied, “Thank you for asking respectfully and I get Botox every 3-4 months. I always say ‘I still want to be able to make expressions’ so that I'm not fully frozen, but I like the glow/brightness it gives me.”
The biggest shopping event of the year is days away! Here's what to grab at Amazon and beyond.
Learn How To Make a Second Income in Your Free Time
See why shoppers are calling BN-Link smart plugs and outlets "amazing" and "a lifesaver."
Kelly Stafford says she wants her daughters to 'have the right to choose' in the wake of the overturning of Roe v. Wade
"I felt so supported and encouraged — even while dealing with
Huge Cock Tranny Solo
Swinging Wifes Stories
Michelle Tucker Porn

Daddy Reddit

Report Page