Dad And Two Stepdaughters

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Dad And Two Stepdaughters
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Submitted by twoteendaughter on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 12:27am
My husband has two teenage daughters. We have been married for 4 years and one of them seems to always have issues with me. I believe it's because her mother doesn't like me. It truly hearts my feeling because I try so hard. She had to be told to say good night to me when she goes to bed. She would hug and kiss her dad and walk right by me and not say a word. She was worse when we first married she was 7 then, now she's 13. I have never been anything but good to her and have tried so hard to have some sort of relationship with her. I have never said one word about her mother even though I would love to. I take her for hair cuts, doctors apt's and have never missed a game. What gives? I don't want to be her mother but naturally she's a sweet girl just not to me. I have asked her how she feels about me and told her she doesn't have to like me but she does have to respect me. My husband says his x causes the drama but it gets so old. She does have a step father and from what understand she is great to him.
Submitted by acep74 on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 5:17am
hey there
no matter what u do , what u say or how hard u try , u will never do enough. so dont. why waste your energy ? i did for 14 yrs , i was exhausted , the older sd now 16 wrecked our life when we took her in, she used us, she used me all these yrs, telling me hard it it was with bm. :jawdrop:
We are still going through hell now while she is living it up not taking any responsibilty for her actions. Sorry to be so harsh , hopefully its not the same for u but with the x workn against you it will never change just get worse. :?
Submitted by twoteendaughter on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:33am
That is totally what I feel like! It is never enough and I wonder how much more I should keep telling my husband how the kid works my nerves. I do fell bad for SD because I think it's hard for her because BM doesn't want me to have any sort of relationship. Really what parent would want the step parent to treat their kids like crap. I just don't get that!
Submitted by justwantpeace2 on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 9:11am
I totally agree with this! You will never do enough! When I look back at how hard I tried with my sd, it makes me sick!:sick: I wasted too much time,energy and money on her! To hear her side of the story, I made her life miserable! If I were you, don't put any more effort into a relationship with her! Just be polite and do only what you absolutely have to do and nothing more!
Submitted by twoteendaughter on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 8:57pm
I am such a giving person...not to sound cheesy but I always just want to make her happy. I can't seem to get that out of my head. Also, I have told my DH that I am going to let him deal with things that involve her and I can tell it hurts his feelings. I guess I worry about everyone else first....I think I got the mom thing down just no BC of my own.
Submitted by now4teens on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 6:58am
You said that the other SD and you have a good relationship but that SD13 is the one that seems not to like you. So why is it SO important to you that BOTH SDs like you?
I have three SDs. Their crazy BM tried from the very beginning to sabotage our relationship and tell ugly lies about me and their dad (but mostly me). And for the middle SD- it worked like a charm. She bought into her crazy BMs lies- lock, stock and barrel. And because of this (and other factors as well) we have NO relationship. And I'm ok with that. It's not ideal- but I'm not going to FORCE something that's CLEARLY never going to happen.
I do, however, have a nice relationship with my other two SDs (18 and 13). And that is where I spend my time and energy (as well as with my own two boys, ages 18 and 15).
I suggest you spend your time fostering that already healthy relationship with your other SD. If SD13 ever DOES come around in the future, it's going to have to be when SHE is ready.
But given the fact that so much damage has been done by the BM, it's quite unlikely. It's tragic, but in cases like these, it's a sad reality of life.
Hey, at least she RESPECTS you- at lot of other stepmoms don't even get THAT! So you're actually ahead of that game
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Submitted by twoteendaughter on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:35am
I really don't force it but I have just let SD know I am there for her. But should I be? I am the adult. I truly have made pease with myself and know that I have been so good to both of the girls.
Submitted by melis070179 on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:44am
Maybe you should ask her why she is fine with her stepdad & not you, ask her if you did something to upset her. Maybe pointing out that she's fine with the stepdad will open her eyes. I'm sure your husband doesn't talk bad about the stepdad & even though her mom may talk bad about you, she is old enough to know that she should form her own opinions of you & that since you've never done anything bad to her there's no reason she shouldn't like you.
Just because you CAN give birth, doesn't mean you SHOULD
Submitted by twoteendaughter on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:38am
I totally have and really never got an answer. Other than I'm different. I am different because unlike BM I work and try to keep up with the times. It's funny that you said that about her being old enough. I told her that no matter what she hears about me that she should judge me on how I treat her. I totally did. I gave her examples. I feel like she should be able to make her own decisions about her feeling towards me. Thanks someone else agrees!
Submitted by SerendipitySM on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:47am
Welcome to the wonderful club of slighted stepmothers - many of us have taken up permanent residence here!! Unfortunately hun, I do not think there is a lot that can be done. I am in a similar situation and do not stand a chance against the poison that TROLL instills in the minds of my SDS' - it's very sad but I know that there is nothing I can do.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
Submitted by Gmama on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 5:53pm
They are 18 and 15 and they treat my husband the same way. Their real dad died,and they treat my husband as just that. He is my husband not there dad. It can be very difficult to be in the middle of things at times. I feel like I'm suppose to pick sides, and some times I side with my boys and some times my hubby. I think it's human nature to pick our children. I did it when I was married to there dad,I always felt like he was to hard on them. My husband made a comment last week to my 15 y/o, I flat out told him He just made things worse and It wasn't his place to say anything.I have mixed feelings he's not involved with the boys as much as I'd like but yet they "act" like they don't want him there?????? some times I feel like, step parents should stay out of it, we just get our buts burned no matter what?????
Submitted by Tara12 on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 8:59pm
Keep up your relationship with your SD that treats you decently. Now this is just my opinion but I sure in the hell would not bend over backwards for SD and take her anywhere or do anything if she is going to treat you like crap. I mean if she can't even say good night to you that is a big F U that she is saying to you. If she asks you why you don't do things for her just tell her why should I if you don't even acknowledge my existence. I am not trying to be your mom I am only trying to be your friend take it or leave it. I'm just the type of person that I don't take crap from kids, teenagers, anyone for that matter but then again that is just me. DISENGAGE WITH HER.
Submitted by twoteendaughter on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:30am
I totally took it has that too. It is what it is. Now when she does say good night it bother's me. I almost wish she wouldn't so I didn't spend my time wondering why she said it at all. I am totally that kind of take no crap person but for whatever reason have have let this kid get to me. I am working on it. I have told her point blank don't speak and I won't. Usually no response but her Step Dad is the just wonderful. Really think it's BM tarnishing the whole pic.
Submitted by twoteendaughter on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 12:18am
I know my friends are so tired of hearing about it and will never understand. I have asked her did I do something to you. I have totally put her on the spot and I never get a response just she shrugs her shoulders. Once she told me she prayed every night I would be safe at work. It totally crushed me because I would figure she prayed I would go away...lol. It totally caught me off guard. The only response I get from her is "your different". I am completely different from her BM. I work, take the kids to the doc. I have been referred to as City Girl because I don't drive a 4x4 but don't want to. I have told her is she SD13 doesn't like me that's fine she doesn't have to speak at all and I will return the favor. It just so hard for me to be that way so when she actually forgets it's me she's talking to and tells me about her day I get happy for a moment. Once she told me she loved me but I think again she forgot who she was talking to. No kidding I really do. You know I have even had b-day parties, shopping trips and let them get occassional pedicures. My husband says says the BM is jealous because she can't or don't do those things. Her BM's home is 2 times the size of ours but I prefer to enjoy like and take vacations so that's what we do. How about they are both teens and the BM calls them everynight they are with us even when we are on vacation. Same time every night even if they just got here an hour ago. It is a bit crazy in my thought we are like 8 miles a way from each other. We have them about 50% of the time. I do have a smart mouth and fight the urge not to tell a child off and that breaks my heart that I could even feel that why because you will never hear me refer to them as SD's but just my daughters. My husband says she's just moody but I have told him time and time again the moodiness is just with me. I use to cry to myself, (which is totally not me) but I have truly gotten better but still struggle with the whole situation. My husband says he's sorry for putting me in this but he don't see it, I think he thinks that's what he is suppose to say which ticks me off even more. He says they always ask for me when I am not home. I just wish BM could grow up. She has a life as well and just be thankful someone else loves and treats her children good. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate this time to vent. Not that I want anyone feeling my pain but thanks for taking the time.

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The cunning paedophile also hid a phone in the bathroom to get footage of his step-daughters in a state of undress - and viewed illegal images of children on the internet
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A sex abuser filmed himself molesting two step-daughters when they were fast asleep in bed - and secretly recorded them in the bathroom.
The man, in his early 30s, secretly recorded one of the girls trying on bras.
The step-father, from Leicester, pleaded guilty to a catalogue of offences, including sexually assaulting the two sleeping girls when they were aged between nine and 12, as well as downloading indecent images of children, and extreme pornography, from the internet.
He appeared at Leicester Crown Court via a live link from prison, sobbing and covering his face with his hands in shame throughout the hearing.
The defendant is not being named because of a court order protecting the identities of the victims, who were described as being "vulnerable" with health issues.
The girls' natural father heard details of the abuse suffered by his daughters, as he sat in the public gallery, and appeared shaken and distressed at times.
Neil Bannister, prosecuting, said the police visited the defendant's family home after receiving information his email address was linked to the downloading of illegal images of children.
The married man's mobile phone and laptop computer were found to contain online child pornography.
It was then that footage of him indecently touching his two step-daughters was also discovered.
The defendant additionally possessed moving images of the girls changing, using the bathroom and one trying on bras with her mother's help.
When asked about the allegations he confessed, telling the interviewing officer: "It's true."
Mr Bannister said: "He said he knew it was wrong and that he needed help."
The defendant's wife never wants to see or hear from him again, the court was told.
She described, in her personal impact statement, feeling "shock, disbelief and anger" by his betrayal of trust.
The court heard she has, so far, protected her daughters from the knowledge of what happened.
Mr Bannister said the natural father of both victims had described being upset and feeling he had let his daughters down by not being able to protect them from their step-father.
Judge Robert Brown told the crying defendant that both girls were vulnerable because of health difficulties.
He said: "This was a course of conduct, not an isolated offence.
"The filming of images is a seriously aggravating feature."
The defendant admitted four counts of sexually assaulting the sisters by touching them intimately in their sleep, between 2018 and earlier this year.
He admitted three counts of voyeurism and three offences of taking indecent images, by covertly filming the girls.
The step-dad also pleaded guilty to three offences of downloading indecent images of children, of which 180 images were in the most serious range, category A, 104 images in category B and 193 images in category C, as well as possessing 12 images of extreme pornography, between 2014 and this year.
Steven Newcombe, mitigating, said: "There was little more he could have done in the police interview to assist in the investigation.
"His remorse isn't just him sitting there weeping, as he is today, but by accepting each and every offence on the indictment (the charge sheet).
"He knows he was supposed to be looking after the girls and creating a safe environment for them - and he abused his position.
"He has never been in trouble before and custody has had a dramatic effect on him.
"He admits he needs help and there's a strong possibility he will not re-offend."
The step-dad was jailed for nine years and eight months.
He was placed on a sexual harm prevention order, as well as a restraining order, banning contact with the girls or their mother, for an indefinite period.
The defendant will also have to record all future addresses on a sex offender register, for life.


December 27th, 2019 Views: 30008 Starring: Joey White , Sami White
The Story: We may be identical, but we are not always on the same page. We are both going to do whatever it takes to make sure we get a new car from our stepdad… Love, Joey and Sami White.
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More stories to check out before you go
I am a third year student in campus. I have some confessions to make. My mum and my step-dad have a daughter together. My mum loves him very much and she has always favoured my step-sister over me and this has made me develop a lot of anger towards her.
We are very close with dad and I always thought he often made passes at me but did not make much out of it. Recently, we were watching a movie and ended up getting intimate and now I can't get him off my mind. He also seems to have the same problem and I think he has fallen in love with me.
I love him but I know that this will only bring trouble if my mum was to find out so I am looking for a way to end this. This is becoming difficult because I like him and the fact that we see each other daily worsens the situation. Please advise...
Now that you have gone to bed with your mother’s husband, how do the two of you behave when she is around? Even if he is your step-dad, it is still weird and unimaginable. Yes it is less weird than if it was your actual father but it is just inappropriate. I cannot even begin to imagine what I would feel if I was in your position. End this now please!
I think you are looking for a sugar daddy to spoil you by giving you money and other things. However, be in the know that you are looking at the wrong man. Suppose it was you whose daughter was sleeping with your husband? How would you feel? What would you do to your daughter? That very answer is what your mother will do when she finds out about this. And that liking and favouritism she has for your sister will increase ten times when she finds out.
Imagine getting a child with someone you are calling a father? A man who has slept with your mother? Why do you want to break her heart? This man could be having other affairs outside and could infect you even with HIV. Sleeping with somebody you call your dad is a curse to you. If you got a child with him, what would that child call your mother? Stop thinking like a girl who has never stepped inside a school, you are a Third Year student in the university. Concentrate on your studies as this man is only wasting your time.
By law, he is and remains to be your father. Your story is a bit ambiguous because it is not the resentment to your sister but the intimate love you have with your dad. The African culture and tradition do not support this and history will judge you harshly. Someone who sees your mother naked should never do that to you and at the very age you are. This is incest and an abomination. There are many single unmarried men that can date you. He is not the only remaining man on earth. Stop this to be at peace with yourself and with others.
This is one of those things in life that are just unacceptable. It is probably the highest form of betrayal you have both exposed your mother to and without a doubt, you ought to find a way to deal with this. I believe this is why you have shared your issue with us so before I give you some pointers as to how you could deal with this, let's put your sit uation in the right context.
The first and very solid fact is that no "love" can exist and g
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