Cute Fart

Cute Fart

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We don’t mean to toot our own horn, but we can’t possibly be the only ones who love good toilet humor. No matter your age , a fart will never not be funny, and a shart will never not be tragically hilarious. After all, everyone passes wind, from the youngest of babies to the eldest grandparent in the room. So with that in mind, we went ahead and founded up the best fart jokes we could find .
Unlike the stinkiness of a fart, a good fart joke is something that lasts forever. Laughing at the different smells and sounds that plop out of the human body is as old as time and as an adult, it can still make you crack a smile . Even if you’re not into the fart joke universe, your kids definitely will be.
And since we’re an all-service provider, while you’re at it, enjoy our collection of period , poop, and boob jokes . Add this list to your comedic er… arsenal?
My butt likes you so much it blew a kiss.
One fly farts and the other fly cries, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”
Zero pounds. If it’s anything more, you’re in trouble.
Because they didn’t have any Windows.
You don’t mind your own, but you can’t stand other people’s.
Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.
The woman said, “Can you hold, please?”
It must have been bad — we’re flight attendants.
The husband tells her, “Replace the battery in your hearing aid.”
It only bothers you when it’s not your own.
She didn’t want the other chickens to notice that she farted.
Because you have to sit in your own pew.
If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.
So that deaf people can enjoy them too.
When a clown farts, does it smell funny?
As he sat outside the class, he could not stop laughing. The principal walks by and asks, “Frank, why are you sitting outside your classroom laughing?” Frank replies, “I farted in class, and the teacher threw me out.” The principal asks him again, “Well then, why are you laughing?” Frank says, “Those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my fart while I’m outside in the fresh air.”
It wasn’t until years later that I realized he had been gaslighting me.
Then one day I took a chance, tried to fart, and pooped my pants.
This article was originally published on 11.5.2019

Part of HuffPost News. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
In a world full of big cynicism and seismic discord, it's time to celebrate and honor the little things that connect us. Sometimes those little things are random acts of kindness and generosity.
Jun 26, 2013, 08:54 AM EDT | Updated Aug 26, 2013
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Air biscuit Air tulip Anal audio Anal exhale Anal salute Anus applause Answering the call of the wild burrito Ass acoustics Ass flapper Back draft Back-end blowout Back blast Baking brownies Bark Barking spider Barn burner Beef Beep your horn Belching clown Benchwarmer Blast Blat Blurp Blurt Bomber Boom-boom Booty bomb Booty cough Bottom blast Bottom burp Booty belch Break wind Brown cloud Brown haze Brown thunder Bubbler Bull snort Bumsen burner Bung blast Burner Burp out the wrong end Bust ass Butt bazooka Butt bongos Butt cheek screech Butt dumpling Butt sneeze Butt trumpet Butt tuba Butt yodeling Cheek squeak Cheeser Colon bowlin' Cornhole clap Cornhole tremor Crack concert Crack splitters Crap call Cut one Cut the cheese Drifter Droppin' stink bombs Duck call Exercise the meat nozzle Exhume the dinner corpse Fanny beep Fanny frog Fecal fume Fire in the hole Fizzler Flatus Floater Fluffy Free speech Frump Gas Get out and walk Donald Great brown cloud Grundle rumble Grunt Gurgler Heinie hiccup Hisser Honker Horton hears a poo Hot wind Hottie Human hydrogen Bomb Insane in the methane Lay an egg Let Polly out of jail Mouse on a motorcycle Nasty cough O-ring oboe One-man salute Orchestra practice Panty burp Peter Pewie Pi p Poof Poop gopher Pootsa Pop tart Power puff Puffer Putt-putt Quack Quaker Raspberry Rattler Rectal turbulence Ripass Ripper R oar from the rear Rump ripper Rump roar Silly cyanide Slider Sphincter siren Sphincter whistle Spitter Split the seam Squeaker Stale wind Steam-press your Calvins Steamer Step on a duck Step on a frog Stink it up Stinker Stinky Taint tickle Tear ass Testing in the Levi wind tunnel Thunder from down under Thurp Toot your own horn Tootsie Trouser cough Trouser trumpet Trunk bunk Turd tremors Turtle burp Tushy tickler Under thunder Wallop Whiff Whoopee Whopper
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In a world full of big cynicism and seismic discord, it's time to celebrate and honor the little things that connect us. Sometimes those little things are random acts of kindness and generosity. Sometimes those little things are random acts of the digestive tract. And we're here to talk about the latter.
Farting is part of the universal human experience. Farting knows no borders: every person from every corner of the globe breaks wind. (The average person toots 14 times per day, in case you were wondering.) But most importantly, farting is just funny. And in this collective modern malaise that clouds our outlook with negativity, it's time to break out of our funk by laughing at another kind of funk.
This is what motivated us to write our latest book, The Fart Tootorial: Farting Fundamentals, Master Blaster Techniques, and the Complete Toot Taxonomy. And to spread the other kind of good vibrations.
Before you dismiss fart humor has low brow and juvenile, remember that Ben Franklin once famously remarked, "Fart proudly." And the great Louis C.K. more recently stated, "You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to." In fact, the world's oldest recorded joke is a Sumerian knee-slapper from 1900 B.C. about, you guessed it, ancient air biscuits. Here's the translation: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." (guess you had to be there.)
Fart humor is alive and well today. For proof, look no further than the thousands of tooting euphemisms uttered every day. Below are our favorite 150 fart terms for your reading and ripping pleasure. We hope you can work a few into your daily routine and share the positivity--one pulled finger at a time.

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