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September 24, 2019 at 5:00pm PM EDT
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Our mental image of cunnilingus tends to be pretty formulaic: a woman lying on her back, legs spread and a partner bending down to pleasure her. This position, of course, isn’t the only way to do it. Obvious variations include the classic Sit on My Face position, as well as the equally iconic 69. But these three positions don’t encompass even a fraction of what’s on offer.
The entire landscape of cunnilingus positions expands far beyond our go-tos, and it’s just waiting to be discovered. Isn’t it time we collectively explored the frontiers that lay just outside our norms? Here are eight cunnilingus positions you probably haven’t tried yet , but you and your partner will totally want to add to your bedroom repertoire.
Sitting on someone’s face can be awesome, because it gives your partner direct access to your nether parts. But it can also be intimidating, awkward or straight-up uncomfortable, because, well, you’re pressing all of your weight onto someone’s face.
The All Fours plays to the strengths of sitting on your partner’s face without forcing you to literally sit on your partner’s face . By getting on your hands and knees above your lying partner, you’re supporting yourself — and doing so in a generally comfortable way. All the intensity you expect from face-sitting, without the discomfort.
An easy way to switch things up? Stand during oral sex . While most cunnilingus positions involve you sitting or lying down, the Lean Forward has you standing up and — you guessed it — leaning forward while your partner kneels behind you. Feel free to use the walls for stability, be they in your bedroom, your living room or your shower.
The Wrapped Eagle offers a slight twist on the most classic of cunnilingus positions. Instead of lying down with your legs splayed out, have your legs wrapped around your partner’s head. This can mitigate some of the vulnerability associated with the more obvious Spread Eagle position — plus, it allows you to control the pressure. Simply pull your partner closer to you when you’re looking to up the intensity.
Fans of doggy-style will surely appreciate this approach to cunnilingus. Get on all fours — but on your knees and elbows, rather than your knees and hands for the Forbidden Fruit . Once you’ve gotten comfortable, invite your partner to join you. From behind, they’ll have direct access to your genitals.
Modified 69 took everything you love about face-sitting and combined it with everything you love about 69. Have your partner lie with their head and shoulders hanging off the side of the bed as you stand up. Walk toward them so you’re straddling over their face. From there, you can bend over to engage in a little reciprocity, or just enjoy being on the receiving end for a little while.
What’s nice? You can control the intensity by bending your knees as much or as little as you want. You can also support yourself by leaning forward and placing your hands on the bed.
This incredibly intense position will have you standing as your partner explores you from an entirely new angle. For the Virgo , simply stand up straight, with your back against the wall. Your partner can sit below you in whatever position they choose —so long as they can reach your genitals. From there, they can perform cunnilingus as long as desired, and you can always move to the bed if you want a softer surface.
If lying down during cunnilingus isn’t really your thing, you might appreciate the Kick Back . A seated take on a classic, the Kick Back offers your partner direct access to your nether bits without leaving you splayed out on the bed. This is especially alluring if you’ve got a comfy chair to partake in. The next time you’re looking to change things up, you know exactly where to go.
Lie down, then bend your knees and bend and hug your legs as close to your chest as they’ll go. The All Curled Up position will introduce an entirely new angle to oral sex, which may pave the way for some finger play or sex toy supplementation , too.
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10 Cunnilingus Myths Everyone Needs To Stop Believing
For the sake of clitorises everywhere.
1. Myth: If you don't orgasm from oral, you have a defective vagina.
2. Myth: You need to chug pineapple juice so you taste/smell better down there.
3. Myth: Whoever is face-to-vagina with you is thinking, "Damn, what is UP with her labia, I liked the ones on the last woman I was with so much more."
4. Myth: You're going to hurt your partner's feelings if you tell them what you want.
5. Myth: You should be so loud during oral that running into your neighbors becomes really awkward.
6. Myth: You should be all about that direct clitoral stimulation.
7. Myth: The only thing that matters is their tongue.
8. Myth: You don't need to worry about STIs.
9. Myth: You're not a feminist if you can't get on board with cunnilingus.
10. Myth: Receiving oral sex is the most intimate thing you can do. No, wait, it's actually NBD.
Zahra Barnes joined SELF in November 2015, working on the Culture and Health teams before eventually becoming Executive Editor. She has spent her career as a reporter and editor covering people's lives with a focus on wellness.
Zahra specializes in sexual, reproductive, and mental health, all with the goal of destigmatizing... Read more
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Although I think its official name could use some work, cunnilingus is a gift. People with vaginas obviously deserve to experience just as much sexual pleasure as people with penises do, and receiving oral sex can help make that happen. But destructive sexual myths abound, and they can affect many people's sex lives. That's especially true for something as vagina-centric as oral sex. Instead of being able to enjoy it in all its glory—or not, because some people legitimately aren't into it—we often worry about things like whether we should smell "better" while ignoring that, yes, you can get a sexually transmitted infection from cunnilingus. (Sorry, buzzkill, I know.) Here, the truth about 10 oral-sex myths you never have to believe again.
Sex is supposed to help you escape from the pressures of everyday life, not add to them. Sure, some women who can't orgasm from intercourse find that oral sex is their vaginas' golden ticket. But even if you think oral is enjoyable, it might not work for you orgasm-wise, and that's fine.
That's not to say you should be satisfied with not getting off if orgasms are indeed your goal, but that you shouldn't feel like something's wrong with you if cunnilingus doesn't immediately do the trick. It can take some time to workshop what exactly gets you there, and that should actually be fun .
First of all, there's nothing that can make your vagina taste like a piece of fruit. Except, well, putting a piece of fruit in it, which is dangerous , so don't do that. Second, you don't need to alter how you smell or taste. Unless you have some sort of infection, whatever's going on down there is completely normal.
Unless you're hooking up with a jackass, whoever you're with is probably enjoying themselves too much to think anything remotely critical about how your parts look. (And in case you were wondering, your labia are probably normal .) Unfortunately, assholes do walk among us. If someone says something rude about the way your vagina looks, they don't really deserve to experience its greatness.
Constructive criticism is great! Sure, it might be a little embarrassing for them when you correct their technique. But they should promptly get over that upon realizing how hot it is that you know what you want and are able to describe it.
Thank you, pornography, for spreading this falsehood. Cool if during good oral, you moan, scream, or get particularly inventive with your dirty talk at top volume. Also cool if you're pretty silent as it happens because you're concentrating on how good it feels, you're just not very vocal during that kind of sex, or because every time you get really loud the person you're with changes what they're doing and chases away your orgasm.
True, a lot of people need intense pressure on their clitorises to orgasm. But the clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings , meaning that for some people, anything more than a feathery-light touch feels like someone's trying to break their vagina. There's no "one stimulation fits all" rule with oral, so don't feel weird if you need someone to either barely touch your clitoris or go at it with the suctioning power of a Hoover.
Humans have been blessed with entire faces and hands, not to mention the brains to figure out how to use them during oral. Plus, vibrators and dildos exist! If you're frankly a little bored with tongue-only action, ask the person you're with to change things up.
Oral still counts as sex, and dental dams count as protection (even though people make fun of them. Why?). Sexually transmitted infections can be passed along during all kinds of oral, so give yourself the peace of mind that comes with practicing safe sex.
Maybe you're (rightfully) obsessed with your vagina and don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, but you still don't like how oral feels. It might feel too ticklish, or you might not be able to shake the thought that someone's rubbing spit all over your most intimate parts. Much like you don't need to adore giving blow jobs to be sexy, you don't need to love receiving oral to be hot/feminist/anything at all.
Really, however you view oral sex is right. Maybe you always check it off the list before moving along to another sexual activity that's more intimate in your mind, whether that's intercourse or something else. Or maybe you don't do it until after you've already done everything else, are falling in love, and are finally ready to have someone get up close and personal with you. As with all other types of sex, as long as what you're doing makes both of you feel comfortable, it's the right choice.
You may also like: We Tested The Strength Of Our Vaginas, And This Is What Happened
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