Cunnilingus Demo

Cunnilingus Demo
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Cunnilingus has an undeserved reputation as one of the trickiest sexual acts to perform well. I think this characterization is grounded in cultural judgments of the vulva as being “complicated” and “mysterious. ” Let’s lay this unfair reputation to rest with some straightforward advice on performing awesome cunnilingus.
About 30% of my female clients have never taken a good look at what they’ve got going on between…
For this guide, I’ve enlisted the help of Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman . As a sex therapist, I’ve read a lot of sexual advice books. She Comes First easily ranks in my personal top five. Most sex books are too vague to actually be useful, but Kerner covers every aspect of cunnilingus in detail, and gives tons of specific techniques. Kerner had a personal stake in honing his oral sex technique, too—he bravely admits in the opening chapter that his struggles with premature ejaculation motivated him to find other ways of pleasing his partners. So, with his advice, here’s a step-by-step guide to learning how to give your partner great head.
*Please note that while Kerner’s book is written for men, his advice works for women who perform cunnilingus too.
A lot of people simply don’t feel comfortable receiving oral sex. For some women in particular , this is due to insecurities about their scent or taste, or their internalized beliefs that their genitals are “ugly. ” Some worry that their partners are finding the experience unpleasant. Others dislike being the center of attention, or find themselves unable to relax when receiving. Women are socialized to be hypercritical of their bodies, so having your eyes, nose, and mouth right in the middle of one of the most sensitive parts of it is going to evoke at least a little resistance.
Clean Has a special flexible head to hit everywhere you need it to, has a variety of different functions to use to fit your preferred style, and is designed to last seven years.
You’re not going to be able to completely change your partner’s relationship with th ei r body in one fell tongue-swoop, but you can make a special effort to help them feel more at ease. Kerner says part of doing so involves changing your own perceptions of oral sex. One of the biggest misconceptions about cunnilingus is that “‘outercourse’ is less satisfying than ‘intercourse’.” For many , oral sex is the most physically pleasurable sexual act. It’s not “foreplay” in the sense that you spend a few minutes on it, then move on to the “main course.” When you offer to go down on someone , make it clear that you’re taking this activity seriously, and are excited to do it.
Kerner has a chapter called “The Cunnlingus Manifesto,” which includes three important guidelines for helping you and your partner enjoy the experience even more:
Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does.
There’s no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment.
Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful. It all emanates from the same, beautiful essence.
If you can convey each of these beliefs in a sincere way, you’re miles ahead of most people!
Taking your time is another great way to help your partner feel more relaxed and excited about what you have in store . The clitoris is extremely sensitive, so you don’t want to dive in right away. Kerner recommends spending plenty of time “kissing, hugging, touching, and sharing fantasies,” and making sure your partner is aroused before starting to make your way between their legs. Once you’re down there, continue taking your time. Kerner says to “start with light vertical licks from bottom to top.”
It t akes women 20 minutes on average to reach orgasm, so it’s important that you settle in for the journey, too:
Make sure your body is supported and that you’re stretched out and recumbent. You want your gums and tongue more at a 45 degree angle than 90 degrees, which is more comfortable. Let her do some of the work by pressing her body into your gum line. Her legs should be close enough together that you can lean to the right or left and rest your head comfortably against her leg while never missing a lick.
If you’re not a fan of laying on your stomach, you can try kneeling at the foot of the bed between their legs. Whatever you do, just make sure you’re prepared to take your time.
Kerner’s clients have some hilarious descriptions of the oral sex their partners performed. One woman complained that her partner treated cunnilingus like “the running of the bulls in Spain—a mad stampede for the clit.” Another said it felt like a “cobra defending itself from a mongoose.” Continuing the colorful metaphor trend, Kerner says, “Think of your tongue like the fluttering of gentle butterfly wings or like a thick wet magic marker carefully drawing a still-life.” Translation: it’s better to be gentle and methodical than too rough or overly acrobatic.
That means you have to find a method that works and stick with it. One of the things I like best about She Comes First is that Kerner goes through detailed routines of strokes and techniques, in specific order. There’s no fluff like, “just keep licking!” Everything is laid out for you. I asked Kerner for a basic routine to start with, and he gladly obliged:
Spread her labia and focus on licking the area of the front commissure, just above the glans (the clitoris). Use the index finger of your free hand to occasionally intersperse horizontal finger strokes across the glans with vertical tongue strokes.
As her arousal is increasing, you can insert a single finger, or possibly two. Use your tongue at first to enhance arousal and then a finger to complement and push arousal to the next stage. Don’t try to “fuck” her vagina with either tongue or fingers. Press your fingers upwards into her G-spot, while applying persistent licks.
With your free hand, you can touch her breasts, gently squeeze her nipples, caress her stomach or place under a butt cheek for support.
This is a straightforward technique that can serve as a great place to start, but keep in mind that every person likes different things when it comes to cunnilingus. Some like oral and manual stimulation at the same time, while others don’t. Some orgasm best from tongue circles around the clitoris, others prefer a light sucking motion. Kerner recommends watching and listening to their reactions to find what works best, but there’s another old standby that works just as well (if not better): ask your partner! If they know what they like, they’ll probably gladly tell you. And if you two haven’t become comfortable talking about sex yet, we’ve written about how to get better — even if you’re shy .
Sex is one of the most difficult topics to talk about openly, and there are plenty of people out…
Kerner’s approach to cunnilingus is unique in focusing on the commissure, which is the area right above the clitoris and clitoral hood. It’s a smooth area of skin that tends to get ignored, due to its proximity to the obviously more infamous clitoris. In his chapters on female anatomy, Kerner talks about the fact that pressure on the commissure can stimulate some of the internal fibers of the clitoris. Here’s one of Kerner’s specific technique for the pleasuring the commissure:
Make your mouth into an Elvis Presley snarl and press your gum into her front commissure. Make a seal between your gum and her front commissure. You want to be a bit high above the glans, at a 45 degree angle to her vaginal entrance. Continue to apply persistent licks.
If you’re having a hard time visualizing this, think about what your lips look like when you’re taking a bite out of an apple (minus the teeth of course!).
As your partner starts nearing orgasm , Kerner advises pulling t heir legs closer together to increase the stimulation. But there’s one thing, above all else, that you should remember as they gets close to orgasm: do not change what you’re doing in terms of routine and pacing. Do not let yourself get sped up by their rising intensity. Keep being deliberate and methodical. Consistency is key for most women, so once you’ve found something that works, stick to it and do not stray from the path! If you do, you may have a very frustrated partner on your hands.
Wired has put together a great little video about some of the science behind the female orgasm,…
The clitoris is extremely sensitive after orgasm, so give your partner a chance to cool down and settle back in before attempting any other action. Say how much you enjoyed lavishing attention on their beautiful body, and congratulate yourself on a job well done. This article was originally published in June 2015 and updated on Dec. 30, 2020 to incorporate more gender-neutral language and align the content with current Lifehacker style.

The Kivin Method Is the Oral Sex Technique You Need to Master

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Mastering the art of oral sex isn't exactly as straightforward as, let’s say, riding a bike. For starters, all vaginas are shaped slightly differently. In other words, the move that made you the king of cunnilingus in the eyes of your last girlfriend might do virtually nothing for your new flame.
On the bright side, having to reinvent yourself in the sack is an excuse to learn some new tricks. One in particular, the Kivin Method , has been getting lots of praise from the ladies these days. If going down on your woman feels great to her, but never quite pushes her over the edge, this is an oral sex technique you'll want to try. Here's an expert's take on what it is, why it works and how to do it tonight.
In the age of ghosting, benching, orbiting and whatever other dating trend is making the rounds these days, people are always eager to give a name to their romantic experiences — and sex is no different. While there's no clear answer as to how the Kivin Method got its name, it's a style of oral that psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Holly Richmond has been recommending to her clients for quite some time.
Richmond was thrilled to see the position’s popularity boost, especially since naming it makes it easier to ask for.
"I love the Kivin Method because it gives it a language for women to talk about it with their partners," she says. "It's a great position for receiving pleasure — for the clients I recommend this to, many have very positive feedback."
Though there are not many statistics on this method specifically, in Richmond's experience, more women say they experience pleasure through the Kivin Method than traditional oral. It also happens to be an effective method to help close the dreaded orgasm gap.
"Female orgasms aren't about direct penetration,” she explains. “They're more about clitoral stimulation, and that's exactly what the Kivin Method does. It's side lying oral with a clitoral focus. The woman is laying on her back, the man is perpendicular making an L shape. From there, she can either hold her leg up, or pull her leg up to her chest if that's doable. He's lying to her right or left, and has access to her clitoris sideways."
And if her leg gets tired? "If she needs to lay that leg down, he can lean over her leg so he's not actually putting pressure on it," she adds. “If it feels good, the woman can pull up her clitoral hood for even more access.”
So what is about this oral sex technique that has all the women curling their toes? It seems the Kivin Method hits all those spots that aren’t getting the attention they deserve.
"Because the position of the man's mouth on the woman's vulva and clitoris is not directly straight-on, it's giving access to part of the female anatomy that can be overlooked, like the labia majora and labia minora," says Richmond. "For most women, one side or the other is more sensitive."
The discovery process involved in executing the Kivin Method can make the experience even more pleasurable.
"Because the Kivin Method is so specific in its positional orientation, it also encourages us to speak up – whether it's asking do more of that on my left side, or to go a little slower there with a little less pressure," she adds. Trying something new means you're both learning as you go, taking the pressure off both partners as you figure out what feels best.
Here’s a pro tip: Don't just go to town on her after reading this article, gents. Instead, casually bring it up before you both hit the sheets for the best experience. "Ask your partner, would you be down for this? Does this sound interesting?" says Richmond
The communication piece of this is more important than hitting some magic spot, so make sure you're checking in with your partner throughout to see what feels good. "Every vulva is different, every clitoris is different, every woman is different," she notes. "If licking feels great, fantastic. If sucking feels great, fantastic. But it's just about using our voices to feel more sexually empowered."
Also, there's a chance your partner might not like this – which, by the way, has noth
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