Cunnigulis
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Cunnigulis
6 Women Reveal Men's Biggest Oral Sex Mistakes
Self deprecation is the most lethal weapon in any ladykiller's arsenal.
Bonus: You'll also be a much, much healthier man.
Avoid turning your night of amour into a lingering nightmare.
Self deprecation is the most lethal weapon in any ladykiller's arsenal.
Bonus: You'll also be a much, much healthier man.
Avoid turning your night of amour into a lingering nightmare.
"Half-heartedly lapping for like 45 seconds then demanding praise...super lame."
If you like going down on your female partner, you're in luck—and more importantly, so is she—because a lack of enthusiasm for cunnilingus is the hardest obstacle to overcome if you ever want to perform it convincingly and satisfactorily. And we should all want to be good at it because, done right, it's more likely to end in a toe-curling orgasm for her than vaginal intercourse. According to one meta study, only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic during sex .
The thing is, a lot of women complain that would-be cunning linguists are making a lot of common mistakes. We know this because we asked them and compiled some of their most common responses below. So read on to make sure that you're no neophyte in the high art of pleasing her in the most intimate of ways. And for more hot tips, learn the 5 ways to ensure you'll have the best sex of your life tonight .
"One time I had a guy go down on me and actually used the line, 'My ex said I gave the best head.' " – A, Vancouver, BC.
You had a past lover who raved about the way you went down on her. Your ability to make her feel good made you feel good and that's great. But it doesn't change the fact that each new partner comes complete with her very own set of likes, and dislikes. So while thinking back on rave reviews is manna for your ego, giving your partner boilerplate oral isn't in either of your best interests. Instead, soak up verbal and nonverbal cues from her like a sponge. While it's advantageous to have a cache of tried and tested techniques at your disposal, the only way to get her where she wants to go is to attune yourself to what works for her. And if you need a little extra boost, learn the 30 ways that exercise supercharges your sex life . ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb
"Half-heartedly lapping for like 45 seconds then demanding praise…super lame." – J, Brooklyn, NY.
Dr. Ian Kerner , author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman encourages you to think of cunnilingus not as foreplay but as coreplay, the centerpiece of a complete act of outercourse that culminates in her orgasm. "Many men approach cunnilingus as an optional appetizer," he says. "However, this approach does not give a woman ample time to become aroused and ready for direct clitoral contact, nor do a few licks here and there provide the persistent, consistent clitoral stimulation that intensifies arousal." Keep this up and, before you know it, you'll be a freaking god in the bedroom .
"We know when you're faking it. If you hate going down on a girl then just say it. We can't guarantee it won't be a dealbreaker (because, come on now) but nothing's worse than a guy who gives you a cursory lick with a facial expression akin to a child who hates broccoli and then darts away thinking he's done 'woke guy' duty. Uh, no dude. We can tell time." – E, Seattle, WA.
Back to the Body is a world-traveling women's retreat run by sex educator and author Pamela Madsen. She explains that a lot of women harbour feelings of shame about their vulva and worry about how they look and smell. "The best orgasms happen when women know that their partner loves their pussy," she explains adding that partners would do well to verbalize their excitement and arousal when up close and personal with a woman's vulva. This is a sentiment echoed by Dr. Kerner. "Cunnilingus is an extremely vulnerable act and many women feel a lack of genital self-esteem," he says. "Be sure to reassure her that her smell and taste turn you on, and that you're enjoying being there and that there's no rush; she has all the time in the world."
To Kerner's last point: it's important not to be too goal-oriented. You run the risk of screwing hings up completely. And anyway, you should be enthusiastic. Going down on her is one of the surefire ways to make sex last (much) longer .
"Not checking in to make sure he has the pressure right. Cunnilingus is like a massage…it's important to get the right pressure so that it's satisfying but not overwhelming." – B, London, UK.
Of course, everyone is different but many of the women I polled mentioned that too much direct pressure on the clitoris can be too intense to be enjoyable. "The head of the clitoris is homologous to the head of the penis, meaning they come from the same embryonic tissue, "explains clinical sexologist and creator of online video series, " Sexplanations ," Dr. Lindsey Doe. "The same way you probably don't want me sucking, flicking, and rubbing the head of your dick is the same for my clit. Run your tongue along the length of the clitoral shaft. Use the clitoral hood or prepuce to massage it without direct stimulation. And for goodness sake, pay attention to by body cues because I might want less, more, or something different altogether." "We each have our own pressure preference," adds sexologist Amy Levine . "The clitoris is nerve packed—more nerve endings than the entire penis—and while some women may love a firm touch, for other's it's too sensitive. Take note of her verbal and nonverbal cues."
"Fingering straight, instead of curling the fingers upwards towards the front of the pelvis to hit the g spot feels like a tiny penis. It doesn't do much." – B, London. UK.
Not all women like their cunnilingus accompanied by fingering but many of the women I spoke with said that having their g-spots rubbed in conjunction with a mouth on and around their vulva made for a more powerful and reliable orgasm, particularly when doing the "come hither" motion and rubbing the spongy area one to three inches up on the front wall of their vagina. "Don't think of your fingers as a proxy for your penis; it's not about the thrusting; it's more about the penetration and pressure," says Dr. Kerner. "The vagina naturally tents and contracts, so insert one or two fingers into the vagina; press upwards against the g-spot, let her vaginal muscles nestle and clench against your fingers."
"When you say, 'Mmm, that's so good, I love that', and they immediately switch it up. If something feels amazing, please oh please keep doing it just like that." – L, Brooklyn, NY.
While her thighs my be on your ears from time to time, listening to the verbal and nonverbal cues she's giving you is going to be a key part of whether she looks forward to or is frustrated by the oral you give her. Typically, Moans, "yeahs" and "oh my God"s mean "keep doing exactly what you're doing" though according to many of the women, I spoke with these are often interpreted as requests to change things up. Another respondent, J of Brooklyn, expressed it this way: "Moving back to foreplay-style moves like licking the inner thigh once a pattern and rhythm has already been established sucks. I'm trying to focus on an orgasm!"
Prolonged silences on the other hand, my require you to open other channels of communication. Don't be afraid to ask what she likes. Then do that thing. And while you're having those conversations, just make sure you don't say any of the phrases that you should never say to a naked woman .
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Our mental image of cunnilingus tends to be pretty formulaic: a woman lying on her back, legs spread and a partner bending down to pleasure her. This position, of course, isn’t the only way to do it. Obvious variations include the classic Sit on My Face position, as well as the equally iconic 69. But these three positions don’t encompass even a fraction of what’s on offer.
The entire landscape of cunnilingus positions expands far beyond our go-tos, and it’s just waiting to be discovered. Isn’t it time we collectively explored the frontiers that lay just outside our norms? Here are eight cunnilingus positions you probably haven’t tried yet , but you and your partner will totally want to add to your bedroom repertoire.
Sitting on someone’s face can be awesome, because it gives your partner direct access to your nether parts. But it can also be intimidating, awkward or straight-up uncomfortable, because, well, you’re pressing all of your weight onto someone’s face.
The All Fours plays to the strengths of sitting on your partner’s face without forcing you to literally sit on your partner’s face . By getting on your hands and knees above your lying partner, you’re supporting yourself — and doing so in a generally comfortable way. All the intensity you expect from face-sitting, without the discomfort.
An easy way to switch things up? Stand during oral sex . While most cunnilingus positions involve you sitting or lying down, the Lean Forward has you standing up and — you guessed it — leaning forward while your partner kneels behind you. Feel free to use the walls for stability, be they in your bedroom, your living room or your shower.
The Wrapped Eagle offers a slight twist on the most classic of cunnilingus positions. Instead of lying down with your legs splayed out, have your legs wrapped around your partner’s head. This can mitigate some of the vulnerability associated with the more obvious Spread Eagle position — plus, it allows you to control the pressure. Simply pull your partner closer to you when you’re looking to up the intensity.
Fans of doggy-style will surely appreciate this approach to cunnilingus. Get on all fours — but on your knees and elbows, rather than your knees and hands for the Forbidden Fruit . Once you’ve gotten comfortable, invite your partner to join you. From behind, they’ll have direct access to your genitals.
Modified 69 took everything you love about face-sitting and combined it with everything you love about 69. Have your partner lie with their head and shoulders hanging off the side of the bed as you stand up. Walk toward them so you’re straddling over their face. From there, you can bend over to engage in a little reciprocity, or just enjoy being on the receiving end for a little while.
What’s nice? You can control the intensity by bending your knees as much or as little as you want. You can also support yourself by leaning forward and placing your hands on the bed.
This incredibly intense position will have you standing as your partner explores you from an entirely new angle. For the Virgo , simply stand up straight, with your back against the wall. Your partner can sit below you in whatever position they choose —so long as they can reach your genitals. From there, they can perform cunnilingus as long as desired, and you can always move to the bed if you want a softer surface.
If lying down during cunnilingus isn’t really your thing, you might appreciate the Kick Back . A seated take on a classic, the Kick Back offers your partner direct access to your nether bits without leaving you splayed out on the bed. This is especially alluring if you’ve got a comfy chair to partake in. The next time you’re looking to change things up, you know exactly where to go.
Lie down, then bend your knees and bend and hug your legs as close to your chest as they’ll go. The All Curled Up position will introduce an entirely new angle to oral sex, which may pave the way for some finger play or sex toy supplementation , too.
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Our mental image of cunnilingus tends to be pretty formulaic: a woman lying on her back, legs spread and a partner bending down to pleasure her. This position, of course, isn’t the only way to do it. Obvious variations include the classic Sit on My Face position, as well as the equally iconic 69. But thes
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