Cum During Massage
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Cum During Massage
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Ethically Navigating Difficult Bodywork Scenarios
It happens and it is normal, yet no one wants to talk about the primary reason men avoid therapeutic massage. Learn how to assess a client’s intentions and professionally address this situation.
It is very common for men to get an erection during a non-sexual, therapeutic, full body massage. While an erection can be indicative of being physiologically aroused, it does not necessarily indicate the presence of emotional or sexual desire. Touch administered to any part of the body can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which can result in a partial or complete erection. Professional assessment can help a therapist decipher a physiological response to touch from inappropriate sexual intentions.
While physical arousal can occur with both male and female clients, a woman’s arousal is typically less visible. Fear of an erection, or a massage practitioner’s response to it, prohibits some men from seeking a much needed therapeutic massage. For those devoid of inappropriate intentions, education about normal body function can ease this fear and invite a new level of comfort with somatic-based therapies.
If there is any discomfort on the part of either the client or the practitioner when an erection occurs, it must be addressed.
Based on fundamental communication skills, Ben E. Benjamin, Ph.D. and Cherie Sohnen-Moe describe “The Intervention Model” in The Ethics of Touch . When a client’s intent is unclear, The Intervention Model contains eight steps to guide a practitioner’s assessment and subsequent action in response to ethical dilemmas. Dependant upon the details of the situation being addressed, it may be necessary to consecutively progress from step one to step eight, stop after step one or two, follow the steps in a different order or skip inapplicable steps. The following outline of The Intervention Model has been slightly modified for approaching a client with an erection when the client’s intent is not understood.
Step One: Stop the treatment using assertive behavior.
When encountered with an erection, stating the obvious can be difficult, but clarifies the client’s intent. By describing a behavior, the client knows the therapist is paying attention without passing judgment. Examples of this type of communication are:
Step Three: Clarify the client’s intent.
After stating the obvious, directly asking the client what they are experiencing can reveal the meaning behind the erection. Examples include:
Dependant upon the client’s comfort level and their intent, a client’s response may or may not be straightforward. It is important to resist providing an answer for the client, so wait for a clear response. Clarification of the client’s intent allows for the practitioner to render an accurate assessment.
During a somatic-based therapy, some recipients experience unexpected emotional and physiological responses. When aware of a client’s concerns, the therapist can share information to educate the client. Examples of educative statements for a client experiencing an unintentional erection are:
Safety is re-established by a therapist clarifying the therapeutic contract of the session. Examples of re-instating therapeutic intent are:
Step Six: Continue or discontinue the session as appropriate.
A client with sexual intent or displaying inappropriate behavior necessitates immediate termination of a session.
Step Seven: Refer client to other professionals as appropriate.
This step is typically taken after the completion of a session.
Step Eight: Document the situation.
After the client leaves, document the occurrence and obtain supervision or peer support as necessary.
Encountering the male physiological response to parasympathetic arousal is a frequent occurrence in the massage profession. Professionally managing human interaction surrounding this type of arousal requires preparedness, maturity and education. Determining the intention behind a man’s erection serves to maintain professionalism, ensures therapist safety and reduces client embarrassment. Meanwhile, communication regarding client behavior, therapeutic intent and the physiological normalcy of erections allows a therapist to preserve ethical boundaries while maintaining respect for the client.
Benjamin, Ben E., Ph.D., and Cherie Sohnen-Moe. The Ethics of Touch . Tucson: Sohnen-Moe Associates, 2003.
McIntosh, Nina. The Educated Heart Professional Boundaries for Massage Therapists, Bodyworkers, and Movement Teachers . 2nd ed. New York: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2005.
Nicole Cutler, L.Ac., MTCM is a long time advocate of integrating perspectives on health. With a Bachelor's degree in Neuroscience from the University of Rochester and a Master's degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine from Five Branches Institute, Nicole has been a licensed acupuncturist since 2000. She has gathered acupuncture licenses in the states of California and New York, is a certified specialist with the National Acupuncture Detoxification Association, has earned diplomat status with the National Commission of Chinese and Oriental Medicine in Acupuncture and Chinese Herbology and is a member of the Society for Integrative Oncology. In addition to her acupuncture practice that focuses on stress and pain relief, digestion, immunity and oncology, Nicole contributes to the integration of healthcare by writing articles for professional massage therapists and people living with liver disease.
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