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Home » Cuckold Tips: Introducing Her to Cuckoldry
Whether you are an experienced or novice cuckold, here are some tips for any stage of a budding cuckolding relationship.
I have had strong cuckold desires ever since I was about 20. I have encouraged my wife to [cuckold] me for some time, but she has repeatedly refused. We recently tried a “fantasy” cuckold arrangement. [S]he role-played her fantasies while simultaneously enforcing a D/s relationship with me. Clearly, this is not a step towards a real cuckolding relationship, which we agree is impossible for many reasons. I’m ecstatic about the chance to reconcile these deep urges with my wife’s desires and boundaries. Should I be so hopeful? Can an arrangement like this really satisfy a cuckold?
Many men share this frustration with introducing a wife to consensual cuckoldry. I understand the excitement surrounding the idea of experiencing the life of a cuckold. However, manipulating or breaking down someone until she agrees to role-play with you will not satisfy you.
Can you turn off your desire to be cuckolded at the end of a role-playing scene?
Is she enjoying herself or catering to your selfish desires to stop you from pestering her?
Do not become blinded to your wife’s needs and desires, while you focus on your selfish desires. Desperation to fulfill these desires by any means necessary, including manipulating your wife in the bedroom, invalidates her.
Do not place hope in a fantasy arrangement or seek reassurance that this type of manipulation will work. Better men than you have tried and failed repeatedly. What makes you think this time differs?
If your wife has expressed reservations about leading you, cuckolding you, or exploring your fantasies and fetishes, have you listened? Have you truly listened with an open heart to her fears, her concerns, her wishes, and her hopes? Discuss the structure of your marriage as it is and why she feels strongly about keeping it that way.
Have you offered your submission because you trust her and want to obey her? Or have you agreed to role-play because it offers you another opportunity to manipulate your wife into fulfilling your fantasies?
You may be drowning in the sea of troubles you have created. Fortunately, there is a healthier option that builds connection while you work through any hesitation your wife has.
Contemporary Cuckoldry brings you closer together and enriches your relationship by inviting a third person into your bedroom. It builds upon the trust, connection, communication, love, and respect you have for one another. Role-playing toys with the idea of cuckoldry, but it does not allow you to experience what Contemporary Cuckoldry offers. It provides temporary relief at a reduced level of satisfaction, but what happens when your urges outweigh that temporary relief?
If you disregarded your wife’s concerns to get you what you want, how much further are you willing to go?
Did you know that the primary reason women reject cuckoldry is fear that he will reciprocate? This is the main reason most men fail at successfully introducing their mates to Contemporary Cuckoldry. Roughly 95% of the men who contact me struggle with bringing their spouses on board. Either they do not know how to discuss it or they have talked about it and failed miserably. There is a simple, loving way to bring up the subject of cuckoldry. It involves one very important rule.
Wait. What? The whole point of cuckoldry is sex, right? Wrong.
Your efforts result in sexual benefits for her and wonderful experiences and memories for both of you. However, if you want her to embrace cuckoldry as something she wants, sex must be last. Instead, she must learn that she deserves this.
Below are baby steps toward introducing her to cuckoldry without a big production. Each month brings a new challenge. When a step reads take a break, she will need time to accept that her actions have not damaged your relationship.
During breaks, romance her and connect with her. Tell her how much she means to you and why you love her. If she hints that she wants to have sex with you, please her but withhold your pleasure. Reassure her that you love seeing her pleased, but that you would rather wait until next time to receive pleasure. This is much easier to do if you are already in chastity.
This is the most important part of taking a break. If she shows any worry about where all this is going or whether it is unfair to you, reassure her that she is doing something positive for you. Encourage her to follow her passions.
Introducing an unsuspecting, inexperienced woman to cuckoldry is a lengthy process, but one worth the effort, if done right. These steps should take about a year to complete. Give her time to process each step. Inject some vanilla lovemaking, sensual non-sexual play and touching.
Engage in general romance—Hello, Date Night!—between the steps to keep things smooth, nonchalant, and appealing to her. You want every step to be filled with positive reinforcement, support, attentiveness to her, love, and appreciation for her as a person and as a lover.
Once you have completed the steps, you should be able to play with any of these ideas in any order. Always take a break before and after anything new and include separate breaks because she deserves it.
Need help starting the conversation? Check out this free, fun exercise:
Do you need more cuckold tips either to introduce cuckoldry or to correct the trajectory of your relationship, so cuckoldry is possible?
Founder of The FCR Concept™. Lynn is a solution-focused coach specializing in non-traditional relationships. Her bespoke coaching style enhances communication, improves intimacy, and encourages perpetual growth.
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