Creating New Experiences For Swinger Couple
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Creating New Experiences For Swinger Couple
A Couple's Guide to Making a Swingers Profile
MLA Style Citation:
York, Jay "A Couple's Guide to Making a Swingers Profile."
A Couple's Guide to Making a Swingers Profile .
23 Sep. 2011 EzineArticles.com.
7 Sep. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Couples-Guide-to-Making-a-Swingers-Profile&id=6582309 >.
APA Style Citation:
York, J. (2011, September 23). A Couple's Guide to Making a Swingers Profile .
Retrieved September 7, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Couples-Guide-to-Making-a-Swingers-Profile&id=6582309
Chicago Style Citation:
York, Jay "A Couple's Guide to Making a Swingers Profile." A Couple's Guide to Making a Swingers Profile
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Couples-Guide-to-Making-a-Swingers-Profile&id=6582309
By
Jay York |
Submitted On September 23, 2011
Your profile represents you to potential play partners. Before a single or couple will message you or before they will respond to a message sent from you, most likely your profile will be viewed.
Pictures are extremely important in profiles. It is what is initially attracting people to view your profile.
If you expect to be successful in meeting other sexual partners online you MUST post pictures to your profile. Many Couples are fearful of someone in their public life recognizing them. If that is the case perhaps you are in the wrong lifestyle.
Many services allow you to have both Public Photos and Private Photo.
We have found that some people choose to post public photos without faces blocked and other people, like ourselves, block our faces in our public photos. We personally choose to block out our eyes, however whether you choose to block just your eyes or your entire face or not block at all is a personal choice. What is important is that whoever is viewing your profile can get a good idea of what you look like and whether the two of you are a couple that the view is attracted to.
In both the Public and Private photos you should have at the minimum a CLEAR photo of BOTH of you together.
This photo does not have to be the main photo and most likely should not be.
We recommend taking a trip to some porn websites and look at the photos that are used as album covers and also look at those adult friend finder type ads that pop up with photos of the supposed single female who wants to meet you.
It is typically the male half of the Couple who does the bulk of the online leg work in figuring out what Couples to message. Therefore try to figure out which photos your male half finds attractive and would want to click on and try to replicate them in your own private photo shoot and use one of those photos as the main photo to entice people to view your profile.
Understand that that too many profiles contain only the female half of the couple period. Do NOT fall into this trap.
Remember that most of the time you will be SWAPPING partners with another couple and the female to male attraction is just as important as the male to female attraction. Let people see upfront what they are getting before they commit to further communication with you which only makes it more awkward to say no thank you once they finally see your male half.
In addition, separate photos of both the male and female but no photos of them together screams fake profile.
No one likes an ambiguous profile or one that lacks content. It is always an annoyance to have to inquire about certain preferences. We are going to keep this extremely simple. For best results be VERY clear on the following:
1. State what you are looking for. FMF, MFM, MFMF, etc.
2. State whether you are: Soft-Swap or Full-Swap
3. State whether you play: Same-Room Only or Fine with Separate-Rooms
4. State whether your female half is: Bi Sexual, Bi Curious, or Straight
5. State whether you are drug and disease free (If you have NOT been tested in the last 6 months, in all honesty you have no idea whether you are disease free or not so don't lie)
8. State whether you play bareback or practice safe sex
9. If you are required to list a weight MAKE SURE YOU LIST IT and do not lie. Some of you may be wondering why this one is important. If a male looks at your profile and sees that glaring "0" they are going to think you are seriously overweight. Typically people equate overweight to being unattractive. Just list your weight. Most guys have no idea how much a woman should weight anyway and just look at the photos, but a "0" is just a big red flag.
10. List your real age. Basically every service requires you to list your age. Be honest about it. If someone viewing your profile can tell there is absolutely no way you can be 35 and in reality you are 50 they are going to begin to wonder what else you will be dishonest about. Just be honest.
Aside from the above, additional information you might want to include are:
1. A brief description about the two of you (how long you have been together, why you joined the lifestyle, what you like about the lifestyle, whether you are athletic, etc.)
2. State anything you are not interested in (e.g., single men)
3. Age Preferences, limits, or ranges.
4. Physical preferences or requirements (cock size, ethnicity requirements, athleticism, etc.)
5. General limitations or requirements (how you plan on exchanging pictures, need for voice verification before meeting, all first meetings are just meet and greets with no expectations, etc.)
If you address each of the twelve items listed above your profile should be very detailed and allow anyone viewing your profile to have a very good understanding of what you are looking for and what you are not looking for.
Most online services have some sort of certification/validation system in which those you meet can certify you are "real".
On all the services we use we have certifications. Some of them we have a significant amount. The simple truth is that if you have ZERO certifications that will be a red flag to many, ESPECIALLY if you have been a member of the online service you are on for more than a year. The question that will be running through the other person(s) mind is, "what is wrong with them that they have no certifications after a year of supposedly swinging." Experience in the lifestyle has also shown us that most profiles containing zero certifications are indeed fake.
This means that it is in your best interest to certify those you meet, even if you don't play with them. Typically you will receive certifications in return. It will give you legitimacy and indicate to those viewing your profile that you are a real Couple and ease a bit of the tension that comes from dealing with someone new online.
Be aware however that too many certifications can have a negative impact. If you have a very high number (what is considered high will be different for different people) a Couple viewing your profile may interpret that to mean you will sleep with anyone and be turned off by this. We personally don't care. We feel our certifications speak for themselves and we do in fact play a lot and if that is not for the other Couple viewing our profile we respect that.
We have met other Couples that either do not accept any more certifications above a certain number and others that will accept new ones but delete an old one for every new one they get to keep the number at a certain limit. We have also run across couples that believe it is no one's business who they sleep with and won't give or receive certifications. We feel they are just making meeting Couples a bit more difficult than it has to be as a result and don't encourage abstaining from certifying and receiving certifications.
Trial and free memberships come with restrictions and also a stigma. Typically the lifestyle services offer "lifetime memberships" for a couple of hundred dollars. If you are serious about meeting other Couples just pay the membership fee. Free members scream "not serious" to everyone reading their profile. Since membership is so cheap, many looking at those profiles will just think that if they were serious they would be a paid member. In addition many services allow members to block trial and free members which as a free member would thereby limit the amount of Couples you can interact with. We recommend purchasing a membership. It is just another indication that you are a serious Couple.
Many services allow you to put a small headline or blurb at the top of your profile. Many times other than your main photo this is all that they will see. We suggest looking through the different profiles that attracted you on the online services and the type of headlines they had and use a headline that either briefly describes you in a positive light or what you are looking for.
Sure you can skimp on making an awesome profile, but it will be to your detriment. We believe in simplifying life and having a wonderful profile only makes it that much easier to attract Couples or Singles (if that is your preference) to you. Do yourself a favor and spend the time on yours, you won't regret it.
Visit New York Swingers , a free lifestyle blog, for more guides and related information.
© 2022 EzineArticles All Rights Reserved Worldwide
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More stories to check out before you go
Swinging isn’t just a pastime for the local park. It’s a global community of people who engage in sexual relations as a recreational or social activity — and it’s thriving more than you might think.
According to Daniel Stern, author of Swingland and a 10-year swinging veteran himself, there are an estimated 15 million swingers around the globe, and you’d be hard-pressed to figure out which of your family members or neighbors are secretly swinging at first glance. “They are teachers and police officers and lawyers and business people; it’s every walk of life,” Stern says. “I posit that everyone is one degree away from a swinger; they just don’t know it.”
Stern first looked into swinging when he was in his late 20s and perceived himself as terrible at sex. He decided to seek out sexual practice before landing in another relationship, so he perked up when he heard an acquaintance mention “The Lifestyle” at a party. “Upon hearing his description of this carnal fantasy-land, I thought, ‘I want to go to there,'” he explains. “However, locating The Lifestyle and accessing all of its fruits were two wholly different achievements.” For several months, Stern had to ingratiate himself to the swingers he met in order to prove that he wasn’t just another single male looking for a quickie. “Gut-wrenchingly horrendous single male behavior is all too well known among Lifestylers — pushy, rude and selfish among the most common descriptors,” he says. It took him a while, but after six months, he was in.
Once he was inside the swinging subculture, Stern was surprised by what he found. He explains that he had preconceived notions of swingers that weren’t exactly flattering or, apparently, accurate. “The major stereotypes are that swingers are a subculture of overly libidinous miscreants that want to [have sex with] anything with a pulse,” he says. What he found, however, was that swingers are just regular men and women who may be a little more kinky than the average person, and often a lot more tolerant. “I’ve found swingers to be the most accepting and caring lot I’ve come to know in this life,” Stern says. “It’s probably because we’re all outside society’s norm, so we understand.”
He also found that The Lifestyle comes with a social hierarchy that took him some time to figure out. According to Stern, the sexual ecosystem of the swinging subculture is ruled by couples. Single women, similarly, are like unicorns and have carte blanche. In a role reversal that is surprising to outsiders, it is the single men who tend to lack power in the swinging subculture, and are the most likely to only be tolerated.
Even though Stern enjoys The Lifestyle and boasts of its sexual and social benefits, he is quick to say that swinging is not for everyone. Since outing oneself as a member of an outcast subculture can carry serious mainstream social consequences, many swingers find that they have to maintain a double-life. “You’re essentially living two lives, and that can be beyond exhausting,” Stern says.
He also cautions people against trying The Lifestyle as a way to fix an aspect of their lives. For instance, Stern says that some people seem to view swinging as an answer to a paltry sex life, but viewing swinging as a quick way to get sex misses the point entirely. “The Lifestyle is about people looking to have sex with like-minded people,” he explains. “Anyone who forgets the people part of that equation will be blackballed faster than they can disrobe.” It’s also common for couples to try swinging as a last ditch effort to save their relationships. Doing so, however, will only accelerate the relationship’s demise since trust and communication are necessary to make it as a swinging couple.
So tell us — would you ever try swinging?
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