Crazy Fat Ass

Crazy Fat Ass
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I'm Fat, 40 and Single - And I've Been Getting Laid Like Crazy

Now, I should note that when I tell you I'm fat, I really mean it. I'm not just slightly chubby and complaining about those last 15 pounds. I'm rather short and weigh almost precisely 300 lbs. I wear size 28 clothing. Unless you think such things are mutually exclusive, I would describe myself as reasonably pretty, in a natural, low-maintenance, naughty librarian kind of way. I am fiercely intelligent, deeply hilarious, casually stylish, utterly unselfconscious and really, genuinely nice. I am also an absolute riot in the sack. And I've been getting laid like crazy.
I am certainly not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm not at all offended by that fact. I respect that attraction is a personal thing and that lots of guys just aren't into what I have to offer. That's ok with me, as long as they're not dicks about it. I have my own tastes and preferences as well, so I'm certainly not going to begrudge anyone else theirs.
If you have a mullet or a moustache or you don't know how to use there, their and they're correctly, I'm probably not going to be attracted to you. And I'm allowed to feel that way, just as you are allowed to feel any way you wish about me. But don't do as one man did and send me a message out of the blue on Plenty of Fish to tell me that my mere presence there is disgusting and that I shouldn't subject "normal" people to the affront of having to see my picture on that site. You go have your fun and let me have mine.
During the course of this year, I have had a lot of sex with a lot of different partners. And I'm not the least bit apologetic about that fact. Everyone involved has been a consenting adult, communication about expectations and boundaries was clear, and safeguarding my sexual health is always at the forefront of my mind. So why not? Some have developed into lovely ongoing sexual friendships, and some were deliciously filthy little adventures where we never laid eyes on one another again after we parted ways. All were honest expressions of my current sexuality.
I've discovered that there are a few different categories that the men who are interested in me tend to fall into, based both on those who I have hooked up with and the many others I have chatted with on the couple of different dating websites I belong to.
One type that I have learned to pretty quickly recognize is the bucket-list guy. He has never been with a big woman, but wants to give it a go just to see what it's like and get a checkmark on his sexual bucket list. Innocent enough, I suppose, but not sufficiently fulfilling from my perspective for me to be bothered. These guys are often in their twenties and really like the fact that I am an older woman. Perhaps that would allow them to check off two boxes at once.
Much more toxic are the "attracted but ashamed" guys who chat me up on occasion. They are secretly really turned on by fat women, but are so uncomfortable with that fact that they would never dream of being seen in public with one. They are the living embodiment of the old joke, "What do a fat chick and a moped have in common? They're both fun to ride but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one."
On the other end of the spectrum are the men who fetishize large bodies to an extent that is creepy and objectifying. To them, I am not a person as much as an assembly of measurements and body parts. I don't encounter too many of those guys, but when I do I always feel like I need to take a shower after talking to them.
That is not to say that I think there is anything creepy about being attracted to my body type. Far from it. Probably my favourite guys are those who find me really, really physically attractive and have no problem owning that desire. Guys who love my softness. Guys who massage my belly, who grab handfuls of my ass, who bury themselves between my breasts. Guys who can't get enough of every last inch of me. To them, I am a revelation - an ample woman with no body shame who says sure, let's have sex with the lights on.
One such friend tells me that he long ago stopped approaching women he was attracted to in bars. He is a quite a conventionally attractive man, with an extremely muscular build, and his preference is for women of my size or even larger. The most common reaction he would receive was one of anger from women who were so conditioned to believe in their own unattractiveness that they automatically assumed he was making fun of them.
When I began this journey of discovery earlier this year I might have been one of them. It had been many years since I had dated, and although I have been fat my whole adult life, my body now is larger than the one I had when I was last single. I had no idea what to expect on the dating scene.
One of the first men I met after the separation was someone I initially assumed was completely out of my league . He is the absolute whole package -- smart, successful, a hell of a nice guy, not to mention extremely handsome with the gym-perfected body of a Greek god. The kind of guy who can pretty much have his pick of women. To my surprise, he was incredibly into me, and continues to be to this day.
We were lying in bed one night after some of the best sex of either of our lives and I asked him what it was that had attracted him to me in the first place. I knew I wasn't the type he always went for, so I was curious. He just looked at me and shrugged and smiled and said "confidence is sexy." Those words were a touchstone for me.
That friend belongs to the last group of guys, and I would say it is the largest one I encounter. Guys who are openminded to all kinds of sexiness. They don't have a physical "type" and have enjoyed women of a variety of shapes and sizes. To them, my sex appeal has more to do with my spirit of adventure and capacity for joyous abandon than the composition of my body.
I realize that my lifestyle is not for everyone, and I would never try to assert that it should be. I'm sure it won't even be the life for me forever. But at this moment, I am having a great time having exactly the kind of sex I want. And I'm doing it with the body I have right now. Because whatever I look like, I have a right to pursue pleasure without shame. And no matter what anyone else has been telling you, so do you.

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Early last year I ended a monogamous relationship with someone I had been with for more than a decade. In the aftermath of the breakup I decided that what I most wanted at this stage in my life was sex, and lots of it. I dubbed 2013 my "year of fucking recreationally" and set out to find some hot, sweaty, messy, dirty, uncomplicated fun with like-minded friends. And find it I did! Here are some things that I learned about what it's really like to seek casual sex as a forty year old fat chick.
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When I'm not stalking future-but-never-going-to-happen husbands on Facebook, you can catch me eating at one of NYC's B-rated or below dining establishments—A-rated restaurants are for basics.

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Alexis Jones is an assistant editor at Women's Health where she writes across several verticals on WomensHealthmag.com , including life, health, sex and love, relationships and fitness, while also contributing to the print magazine.

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Yes, you can totally pull these off.
So you’ve mastered missionary and and done it a bazillion times already. It may even be your go-to by now. There's nothing wrong with that (there's a reason so many people are into it), but if you've got the urge to switch things up, you're not alone.
Remember: Experimentation and discovery are important parts of a healthy sex life, explains Donna Oriowo , PhD, a Maryland-based sex therapist. "Our bodies are constantly changing," Oriowo says. "The things that we did when we were younger may not work for us in the same way as when we're older."
This means that our bodies' wants, desires, and abilities will evolve naturally over time. "And we want to make sure that we're able to take full advantage of that," Oriowo says.
The next time you’re about to have sex, instead of resorting to your go-to moves, consider whipping out one of these crazy—or as we like to think about them, upgraded—sex positions.
If you’re into something more acrobatic, you can give the Butter Churner or the Standing Wheelbarrow a try. Or if you want a little more support during your next rendezvous, ask your partner to have sex Table-Top style. And if you want a full sensory experience, you’re going to want to try the Scoop Me Up, so that your S.O. can sneak in some neck kisses and caressing during sex. Trust: These positions will elevate your sex game and result in the toe-curling, back-arching orgasm you're looking for.
Shoutout to back support. If you want a position that's pleasurable and comfy, this one's a great option, says Oriowo. But don't take the level of comfort to mean the position is boring."It's great for viewing pleasure, especially if you do it in front of a mirror," Oriowo adds. This way, you get to watch yourself getting off.
Do it: Your partner sits on the edge of the bed and you sit on them, facing away.
Being eye-to-eye with your partner while making each other feel good is key for intimacy . "And there's that chest-to-chest aspect, as well" that Oriowo says brings it up a notch. The best part? Once you've mastered this position in private, you can take it for a spin outdoors. "Maybe one day you can do this one with some clothes on in places where you're trying to look discreet," Oriowo suggests.
Do it: You straddle them, wrapping your legs around their body (they keep their knees unlocked and thighs spread slightly). They stand and support you in their arms. You can start in a seated position and have them pick you up without disengaging. (Or for the truly bold, you can hop aboard from standing position!)
" I believe that doggy style is always in style," Oriowo says. The key to making it less basic? Incorporate some back play. People don't realize how hypersensitive they are on their back. So the next time you're doing it doggy style, have your partner glide a feather along your back during penetration. It's guaranteed to hype up the sensation. And as bonus—this position guarantees easy hair access. "If you're looking for pressure but not pain, grab from the root. And if you're looking for a bit more pain in that pleasure, grab from the end," Oriowo suggests.
Do it : Get on all fours, then have your partner kneel behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you (ya know, like a humping dog).
Okay, okay, so this is basically spoon sex. But don't underestimate the position. There's a few easy ways to turn up the heat—starting with ear and neck play. "I believe that sex should be a full sensory experience wherever possible," Oriowo says. This position allows your partner to play into your ear and neck sensitivity (via kissing or whispering) while they're scooping you up and holding you close. Three words: Full body access.
Do it: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind.
There's this intense coming together that creates serious intimacy, Oriowo points out. Plus, it's an ideal position to give your clitoris the attention it deserves by reaching down with your free hands and pleasuring yourself at the same time.
Do it: Sit on the bed facing each other with legs forward. Lift your partner’s right leg over your left and lift your right leg over their left. Come together so they can enter you. Now both of you lie back, your legs forming an X. Slow, leisurely gyrations replace thrusting.
"If you’re really into yoga, this a great position," says Jenni Skyler, PhD , of The Intimacy Institute and resident sexologist for Adam and Eve. This seemingly weird sex position lets your partner penetrate even deeper (which can be great if your S.O. has a smaller penis or is using a strap on). Too make it a little comfier, put a pillow beneath your shoulders.
Do it : Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while your partner squats and penetrates you.
Despite what the name suggests, there's no food involved in this freaky sex position (although, if you're into that, why not up the crazy factor?). Otherwise, this position allows for deep, powerful thrusts, but at a sideways angle that feels totally different and hot. "It's a really intimate position," explains Skyler. "You have a lot of eye contact and you're literally interwoven." It's great for couples who are looking for more depth of connection in addition to the physical stuff.
Do it: As your partner is kneeling over you, wrap one leg around their waist while the other leg rests under their butt.
Since you’re both controlling the movements, you can rock back and forth to get into a satisfying rhythm that works for the both of you. Truth be told, getting into this position might require some flexibility considering all that leg-over-leg action and hip spreading, Skyler says, but once you're there you can both lean back and let your pelvises put in work.
Do it: Sure, it resembles the crab walk, but in a crazy-sexy way. Your pelvis should be above his while your legs bend to the side of his body.
"This is a great position that's both sexy and relaxing," Skyler says. Your partner gets to take the reins with this one, and they'll be rewarded with an awesome view of your body—especially your face. (Wild, yet intimate—does it really get better than that?) Plus, your hands are free to explore your other erogenous zones .
Do it: If you like the Spoon sex position, you'll love the Spork. Instead of lying on your sides, you’ll stay flat on your back while your partner positions their body at a 90-degree angle in between your legs.
Don't let the innocent name fool you—this sex position will definitely make you feel totally naughty. Skyler recommends it for a partner with a particularly flexible penis or if you're planning on incorporating some other toys (think: the partner on top reaching down with a dildo in hand). Plus, from this lying position, you have easy access to fondle your partner's erogenous zones . Not to mention, your partner's pelvis is perfectly positioned to grind against your clit. Maybe try adding a little sexy butt massage to the mix, too.
Do it : This is basically missionary position with an upside-down twist. Lie on your back and have your partner straddle you facing away. Lift your legs and wrap them around their back to elevate your pelvis so they can enter you. Grab your partner's butt to help them slide up and back.
Warning: This sex position is not for beginners! Think of this as downward dog with even better benefits—the deep-thrusting, G-spot hitting kind. Skyler warns that it does require some yogi talent and shoulder strength to maintain this athletic position. But even if you're only able to stay in this position for a little bit, it’ll definitely be an experience you’ll remember. If the pressure on your arms gets to be too much, take some of the pressure off by resting your upper body on the edge of the bed or a table.
Do it: Get into the downward dog yoga position, then have your partner sit at the end of a bed, and grab your legs so you can wrap them around their waist.
Due to the nature of this position, you'll feel more of your partner's body in motion. Plus, you can always reach down to offer a little butt or leg massage while your S.O. thrusts. Pro tip: This is another great position if you have a partner with a flexible penis or you're using a dildo for the night. It also gives the woman the chance to feel new sensations on different parts of her vaginal wall, Skylar says.
Do it: So you're probably thinking, "wait...how?" But here's how this one's done: Have your partner enter you from missionary position, then slide their legs and chest off your body so their limbs form an "X" with yours.
If you want a good view of each other's bodies, consider adding this one to tonight's activity list. "This is definitely a more intimate face-to-face position," Skylar says. If your partner has a large penis, this position allows you to really control the depth. Want to heat things up? Lean back farther to help this position really hit home, and have your partner rub your clit at the same time. Blended orgasm , anyone?
Do it: Have your partner sit with their legs straight, and then you sit on top of them with bent knees over their thighs. Then, you both lean back and let the pleasure commence.
Skyler recommends taking this one to the kitchen counter. "It's great position if you're less athletic but still wants to be varied and kinky with intercourse ," she says. This crazy sex position puts you two at the same level (which is especially great if you're different
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