Cowgirl Sex Position
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Cowgirl Sex Position
By Alyssa Girdwain Published: Mar 1, 2022
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*Tyra Banks voice* You wanna be on top?
The wild, wild cowboy aesthetic might be trendy right now, but one thing that never goes out of style? The cowgirl sex position.
Even if you haven’t given it a spin in the bedroom, you’ve likely heard of it. It’s one of those popular, classic positions—one that actually gives vulva owners a chance at orgasm, says Jill McDevitt , PhD, resident sexologist at CalExotics and author of Sex Positions for Every Body. That’s because you—the rider—has more control over the pace and angle, so you can cater to your own sweet spot.
Cowgirl is also super versatile, McDevitt says, which should alleviate some of the intimidation that being on top might bring. No matter your gender or body, or your partner’s, it’s a spicy position in which you can explore your pleasure, embrace your sexiness, and even try something new. Plus, it comes with its fair share of cheeky innuendos—which is just plain fun.
But, I get it. Being on top can make people self-conscious sometimes, especially if you’re not used to it. Like, not only are you in the driver’s seat, but you’re also way up close and intimate with your partner. That’s why, with the help of a sexologist, I'm laying out the how to’s, tips, and tricks to the cowgirl sex position to help you lasso your next orgasm. Let’s get in the saddle and take the reins, shall we?
In cowgirl, the penetrating partner lies on their back while the other person faces them and straddles them in a squat on top. True to its name, the position looks a bit like riding a horse, McDevitt says.
One word: orgasm . When you’re on top, you’re in control of the depth of penetration, speed, and angle of your body, so you can move in the way that feels best for you. And you can definitely use this vaginal and clitoral stimulation to your advantage.
“There aren’t many positions that truly provide the ability to grind the clitoris against the pubic bone for stimulation during the natural motions of sex, and cowgirl is one of them,” McDevitt says. For many people who have a clitoris, this kind of stimulation is *clutch* to reach orgasm.
McDevitt also says cowgirl is one of the recommended positions for people who are pregnant , since the belly has lots of room.
McDevitt splits up sex positions into two parts: how the bodies are formed (like you see in sex position illustrations) and how the bodies move. “The same position can have different movements that totally change the experience,” she says.
For cowgirl, this might look like squatting with feet flat on the bed or floor and bouncing up and down for deeper penetration (and a workout, TBH). Or, if it’s feeling too deep, opt for pillows under your knees to lift you up.
For shorter strokes and more clitoral stimulation, you might kneel and grind your hips against your partner’s pubic bone, or lean slightly forward so your chests are closer together. And when in doubt? Reverse your cowgirl . It’s basically the same position, but the person on top turns around to face away from their partner.
Pro tip: McDevitt suggests playing with a vibrating ring you put around your partner's penis or strap-on to grind against and *elevate* the cowgirl experience.
Feeling tired? Use your partner! They can have some control, after all. You might ask them to thrust from below, use their hands for more leverage or tuck your legs under your partner’s for a bit more stability. The person on the bottom can also sit up, giving your clitoris a closer connection with the pelvis.
It might take some experimenting to find your perfect rhythm, so don’t be afraid to try out different speeds and angles to find what works for you. Happy trails to you! (*Wink*)
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Instead of you doing all the moving around, have your partner do some too. Ask them to meet you halfway and thrust from below, says certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair , founder and CEO of The Cowgirl Premium Sex Machine. It changes the whole dynamic, plus gives you a little break. And if they want to do all the thrusting, hi, yes, that’s cool too.
Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.
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Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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Getting on top during sex when you’re the receiving partner—aka cowgirl position—can be a little daunting if you’ve never done it before. And to be fair, it does come with a whole new set of questions: What do you do with your hands? What do you do when your legs get tired ? Do you have to dress up like a cowboy, or are costumes optional? (Lol, kidding, kind of.)
But the truth is, the cowgirl sex position is popular because it’s good , and most of the time (read: when you get out of your head!) it’s v easy to pull off. “The beauty of the position is that you're the one in control,” says certified sex and relationships coach and clinical sexologist Elaine S. Turner . When you hop on top, you get to be in complete control of the speed, depth, angle, and motion of what’s going on, and all that can be super helpful if your goal is to have an orgasm .
Now, before you embark on your Big Mission To Own The Cowgirl Position, there are a few important tips and tricks to know. (And even if you consider yourself an expert rider, you can always learn a new thing or two!) In no particular order, here’s what to keep in mind.
Yes, hi, remember how I said “no particular order”? I was lying. This tip is number one for a reason. If cowgirl isn’t making you feel freaking fantastic, you might be among the majority of vagina owners who do not orgasm with penetration alone . Yes, I said majority —it’s super normal! So make sure your clit is getting the attention it needs and don’t be afraid to give yourself a hand.
“Angle your hips for your clit to rub against your partner or play with your clit while riding,” suggests erotic rom com writer Liv Arnold . You can also delegate clit duties: “Lean back a bit and have your partner play with your clit using their fingers or your favorite bullet vibrator or wand massager ,” says resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha , Aliyah Moore , PhD.
If you’re riding a strap-on , you can ignore this one, but if you partner has a penis, this is crucial. “Cowgirl is one of the positions most likely to lead to a broken penis ,” says Turner. “If you're going up and down on them too fast, they can slip out, leading to a rough landing. Avoid the awkward hospital visit and take your time.” Yes ma’am!
Even if you’re on another form of birth control , bust out a condom to help prevent STIs , recommends Jasmine Akins , a sexual health educator at CAN Community Health . (Psst, here’s a secret tip for the condom-adverse .)
Now, ready to saddle up? Take some of these cowgirl sex positions out for a spin.
If you want an easy and comfortable ride, try leaning forward slightly, suggests sex expert Mayla Green , co-founder of TheAdultToyShop.com . Not only will you get the stimulation your clit craves, but you can rest some of your body weight on your hands.
Instead of bouncing up and down (see above: penis breaking), do a slow grind against your partner. Apply some CBD-based lube and grind against their pubic bone. Spread your legs extra wide to get more friction across your entire vulva.
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Switch up the depth of penetration and speed to maximize the stimulation you’ll both be getting. If you need a template, try four quicker, shallower thrusts, then on the fifth thrust, sink slowly all the way onto your partner. That deep fifth thrust will feel so amazing to both of you.
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Feeling shy up there? “The best way to overcome it is with practice and showing off,” says Turner. “Grab your favorite bullet or wand vibrator and get it involved while you're on top. Or you can grab your partner's hand and show them where you want them to touch you.” When you’re really into it, you forget about being self-conscious, fast.
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“Putting a blindfold over your partner's eyes or tying them up to the bed can be a massive turn-on,” says Turner. “Incorporating sensory deprivation means focusing on the sensations and maximizing their enjoyment.” (If you feel vulnerable and exposed when you’re on top, a blindfolded partner can help you feel less inhibited.)
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You know how when someone’s holding your legs you can magically do sit-ups better? Harness the same principle by tucking your legs under your partner, suggests Sinclair. (Just slide your feet under their butt.) This move can help stabilize you and keep your thighs from tiring out, she says.
Make cowgirl instantly more intimate by having your partner sit up instead of lying on their back. "This can help take some of the pressure off your thighs, switch up the rhythm, and allow you to hold onto them for support," says Sinclair. It’s also excellent for sweet kisses and eye gazing.
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Feel like you’re not quite getting the right angle? Try a sex pillow or wedge . “Giving the partner on top a little more leverage and aligning genitals a little better for comfortable insertion makes a huge difference in terms of making this position both more comfortable and more pleasurable,” says co-founder and editor-in-chief of Kinkly , Tara Struyk , who recommends the Liberator Wedge and Ramp Combo.
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“People think cowgirl is all about lots of movement and activity (with an occasional shouted yee-haw),” says sexologist Anka Grzywacz , certified sex coach at Good Sx Coaching . “Add some pelvic muscle squeezes and deep breathing to that, pause, and see what happens.” Spoiler: Good stuff, that’s what happens.
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by Gigi Engle and Zachary Zane Published: Jul 5, 2022
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
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Cowgirl's about to get even hotter. 😎
It’s no secret that cowgirl (or cowboy, or cowperson, or partner-on-top) is one of guys' all-time favorite sex positions , and it’s not just because it provides a spectacular view from below. When your partner is on top, they can take full control of the rhythm and speed of sex, allowing them to maximize their pleasure while you get to go along for the (literal) ride.
If your partner has a vulva, there’s a higher chance of orgasm when they're on top due to the direct contact between their external clitoris and your body—all that grinding can make a big difference. If friction doesn't get them off, cowgirl also frees up their hands to hold a vibrator on their clit as they ride you.
Now, just because you’re on the bottom, it doesn’t mean you can play the dead fish. Half of good sex is enthusiasm and participation. Assuming your partner is into you getting in on the action, you can try thrusting from the bottom (a.k.a. "topping from the bottom"), stimulation their external clitoris with a hand or toy, caressing their breasts , or even engaging in some hot making-out, depending on your positioning.
Another cowgirl tip: Remember, it's not all about the rider moving up and down. Honestly, that causes a lot of thigh burn. For maximum pleasure, have your partner try sliding back and forth in this position. Trust us, you’ll thank us later when they’re hella enthusiastic about being on top more often.
That's not the only adjustment that can make this position even more enjoyable for all parties involved. Variations on cowgirl help to keep sex interesting, hot, and explorative. This isn’t as complex as it sounds. Slight tweaks on the classic position can be enough to up the pleasure you get from this position in a big way. If you’re looking to get your cowgirl on, here are some simple and fun ways to change it up.
How it works: You lie on your back. Your partner straddles you, sitting on you like a horse. Their knees and shins are pressed to the bed.
Why it’s good: Your partner gets to take control. They can also tilt back or forward, controlling the depth of penetration and potential G-spot stimulation.
How it works: It’s similar to cowgirl, only instead of your partner straddling you, they have their soles planted on the bed in a squatting position.
Why it’s good: With this position, you can grab your partner by the butt and thrust deep. So even though they're on top, you’re in control of the speed and motion. You also get a lot of leverage in this position, which makes it both visually appealing and less of a thigh burnt than a classic reverse cowgirl position.
Squatting cowgirl is also optimal for bringing in toys. We’d suggest bringing in a bigger toy with a long handle (like a Magic Wand) so the receiver can rest their elbows on their knees while still stimulating their clitoris.
How it works: This one's just like the classic cowgirl, however, instead of your partner facing you, they're facing away from you.
Why it’s good: It’s all booty, right in your face.
How it works: Start in reverse cowgirl and then have your partner lean all the way back, so their back is against your chest and their forearms are resting on your sides.
Why it’s good: While thrusting, you can also cup your partner's breasts and play with their clitoris. If you do this position right, you can hit multiple erogenous zones. (Note: your partner will need loose quads in order to pull this position off.)
How it works: The receiver starts in a classic cowgirl position. Then, they swing one leg at a time around so that both are straight out behind them, on either side of the penetrating partner’s outstretched legs. The receiver will essentially be completely flush with their partner’s body, while their partner's penis or dildo is still inside of their vagina. This position can take a bit of maneuvering, so take your time swinging your legs around and next to your body. If it doesn't work the first time, you can always try again.
Why it’s good: This position allows for a very unique sort of shallow penetration. In most instances, the penis or dildos won’t be able to penetrate more than a few inches. It can feel really intense and quite unique compared to other forms of stimulation. When sliding up and down their partner’s body, the receiver gets a lot of direct contact to their clitoris.
How it works: The crab is similar to squatting cowgirl, only your partner leans back and supports their weight on their arms.
Why it’s good: This position can really allow for deep penetration, but it can also be tough, physically. Start slow to see if it works for you two. If it doesn’t, switch back to squatting cowgirl.
How it works: It's like missionary, but with you on your back. Your legs should be kept together, and your partner's legs should be straddling your sides. The easiest way to get into this position is to start in classic cowgirl and then have your partner lean forward.
Why it’s good: It’s a very intimate position that allows for kissing.
How it works: To get into the lotus position, you need to sit down with your legs crossed and pulled in close to your body. Your partner should then sit on top of you, facing you. Then they can either wrap their legs around you or place them by your sides. You should hold onto their back to help support them and to keep your bodies close together.
Why it’s good: This position doesn’t allow for much thrusting, but it's another intimate pose that allows for hugging, kissing, caressing, and heavy eye contact.
How it works: This one looks more complicated than it actually is. Lie on your back with one of your your knees bent. The soul of your foot should be on the bed. Have her straddle the bent knee while facing away from you. From there, she can insert your penis inside of her and start grinding.
Why it’s good: This position, to be honest, is more for her than it is for you. There isn’t too much thrusting, but she can get organic clitorial stimulation by rubbing herself up against your leg, while bouncing up and down on you.
How it works: It’s like reverse cowgirl, only your partner is riding your face.
Why it’s good : In my humble opinion, this is the hottest position for oral sex if your partner has a vulva. It's also great if your partner likes to be dominant in the bedroom.
How it works: It’s basically the reverse cowgirl of face sitting.
Why it’s good: This position is great for analingus, if you and your partner are into it. Also, if you’re an ass man, your partne
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