Couples Sex Vacation
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Couples Sex Vacation
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I can attribute my happy marriage to a disastrous train ride in France. Or the time we sank our rental car in a muddy river in Costa Rica. Or that flight on a Mexican airline that went out of business while we were in the air, stranding us in Acapulco.
These weren’t failures—they were experiences. Traveling with a partner can lead to some great memories, many with an R rating—or at least a rom-com glow. This isn’t misty-eyed conjecture. A U.S. Travel Association survey con-firms that vacations can strengthen relationships, help couples communicate, and reduce the odds of divorce. Escaping from work, laundry, and kids is liberating. Add in mountain views ors alt air, and new sensations help “bring you into your body,” says relationship coach Celeste Hirschman. It all aids sexual arousal.
Your brain loves to travel. “Variety, surprise, and adventure open up the dopamine response in the brain,” says sex coach PattiBritton. That flow of feel-good hormones brings a sense of excitement. “Most couples lose that over time,” she says.
These trips stand out for me and Nate. No need to copy them exactly; use them as inspiration. With a little planning and imagination, you won’t need a lot of money—or, in some cases, clothes.
I know, I know: cliché alert! But the connection between beaches, sex, and romance should come as no surprise. For one thing, ocean environments make us feel good. Research from 2017 suggests that exposure to such “blue spaces”may have mental and physical benefits. And then there’s all that skin. That’s probably why Hawaii is such a popular honeymoon destination—it’s straight-up paradise. On a recent trip to Kauai, Nate surprised me by renting a convertible, something I never imagined us driving in our “real” life. Our top-down exploration included roadside coconuts, poke picnics, shave ice, and cool-ing swims. We even took a surfing lesson. By evening, we drank wine on the lanai and googled real-estate we couldn’t afford.
Sensory overload. As beautiful as Hawaii looks, it smells and sounds are equally astounding. “Changing your sensory input can be quite stimulating,” Britton says, especially if your home base is a city like, say, Chicago. Flowers, salty ocean air, and crashing surf combine to create pure bliss. As for visual stimuli, watching water droplets tracing her curves on the beach can make your mind wander to the fun times you will have back at the hotel room, says psychologist Benna Strober, Psy.D.
Visit Bermuda for its fine beaches and easy access from the East Coast. There’s also Florida, Cabo San Lucas, and Big Sur. To travel in style, splurge at the car rental agency or use a longer-term service such as Swapalease, which lets you lease a fancy car (BMW, Maserati, Ferrari, Porsche) for as little as four months at rates as low as $450 a month. Or get two other couples to split the cost of a small private jet from PrivateJet Services (starting at $5,000 or so per hour of air time).
Nate and I spent our honeymoon at a Mexican resort, swilling Tecate and applying moisturizer to each other’s sun-seared skin. When we returned years later, not much had changed—but we had. I brought the same bikini (still fit!) and Nate packed his beloved Royals visor so we could redo some photographs. But we realized that time had made us more in tune with each other. We took naps, read books, swam in our private pool, and spent hours reminiscing at dinner. It was more romantic than our honeymoon. And no sunburn.
New appreciation. Visiting a faraway place, especially on a honeymoon, can be stressful. When you go back, many of the stresses are gone. “You know your way around,” says Art Markman, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. “Plus, you get to share the joy of thinking about how young and clueless you were the first time.”
Can’t swing a return trip? Try a low-cost alternative, like the hotel you stayed in on your wedding night. If you went toMexico, try a Mexican restaurant. France? Watch a French movie with a nice Bordeaux and good cheese. It’s about memories, men.
Most weekdays Nate and I are in bed by 10 p.m.—after Jeopardy! and Family Feud . Hot, right? The rules changed when we lost our Vegas virginity. Research shows that couples who share novel and arousing activities—as opposed to mundane pursuits like watching game shows—see a boost in relationship quality. We stayed at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, in a room overlooking the fountains and the Strip. Our suite had a velvet sofa and a Japanese soaking tub for two. Tempting. But Vegas has a way of pulling you out of your comfort zone and your fancy hotel. We drank cocktails at breakfast and umbrella drinks in a cabana by the pool. I wore short dresses and a skimpy bikini and we danced until dawn. The next day, we slept past Wheel of Fortune .
A new you. One cure for monotony: “Give yourself permission to let loose and fantasize about being someone else,” says Strober. Role-playing shows that you trust your partner with your deepest fantasies, she says. That vulnerability can boost your relationship—and sex life.
Slip on a sport coat and play James Bond in San Juan, Puerto Rico, home to a sophisticated cocktail scene, nightlife, and gambling—no pass-port required. Affordable alternatives? Reno and Atlantic City. Or role-play locally: Talk about your turn-ons and settle on a scenario. (Into taboos? Pretend you’re cheating lovers.) Agree on a signal to alert each other if one of you needs a break, says Hirschman.
The average iPhone user unlocks the device 80 times a day. In 2016, according to one report, Android users clicked, swiped, or tapped a screen 2,600-plus times a day. (Touch your partner that often?) In Cuba, Internet access is scarce.But trust me: In Havana you don’t need Instagram. With the music, the cocktails, and the steamy heat, this city radiates sexiness. Nate and I spent our mornings in bed, our afternoons sipping mojitos in leafy courtyards, and our evenings dancing until we were soaked in sweat. My lingering mental gif: zipping around in the backseat of a classic car, my hair blowing in the warm wind, and my husband looking at me with a big smile. Didn't need a photo.
Focused connection. Put down the phone to solidify your relationship:
“Technoference” is a term from a study that found that seven in 10people see phones as interrupting or getting in the way of interactions with their mate (like texting while talking). When it happens often, relationship satisfaction drops. Without your phone, you relax into your partner’s company and reconnect, says therapist Rachel Sussman, L.C.S.W. You’ll be reminded of the early days, when you two were young, carefree, and getting to know each other.
Go camping far from cellphone reach; seek out a digital detox program or a hotel like Rancho La Puerta in Baja, California, which doesn’t allow cellphone use in public areas. Or, you know, leave your phones in your hotel safe.
When our planned anniversary trip fell through because of a last-minute flight cancellation, it was too late and too pricey to rebook. So we packed a bag and hit the trail—specifically, theMississippi Blues Trail. We started at the beautiful beaches of Bay St.Louis, Mississippi, and drove up to Jackson. But one of the coolest towns was Clarksdale, home of the blues—and the Delta Blues Museum. We ducked into Red’s juke joint, a hole in the wall where locals and tourists sip bourbon from plastic cups and listen to live bands. My music-geek husband was in heaven. While I’m more of aBeyoncé gal, nothing thrilled me more than hitting the road with no expectations.
Adventure, conversation, the unknown. “Being spontaneous with your partner and hitting the road at a moment’s notice can bring out your playful side,” Strober says. A road trip is authentic and can be full of surprises. Plus, music cities are made for dancing: “That wild side of yours might be just what the doctor ordered to spice up your relationship and make her look at you in a different light.”
New Orleans,Nashville, Austin, and Seattle. Want a private dance? Back at the hotel, let her pick a song and take turns slowly unbuttoning or slipping off each other’s clothes as you dance together, says Perry. “Tell her you love the way she dances,” suggests Hirschman. Then enjoy the view.
I’ll never erase the image of my husband rubbing aloe on 70-year-old Phyllis’s shoulders during a seven-day cruise to Mexico. Sure, he’s in the medical field, but it was the sweet gesture that turned my insides to mush. Now, we’re not into cruises. But this was different: a small ship (less than 100 people, not thousands) that could reach nooks and crannies in the Sea of Cortés. No dressing up for dinner, lots of drinking and talking. We snorkeled, paddle boarded, and swam with sea lions. Every one else was over 65, but check your prejudices: We learned tons about life and love—and ourselves—chatting with them. Every one of those couples stressed that traveling together improved their marriage. The best part? Teaching them to play Cards Against Humanity. They may have taught us about lasting relation-ships (laughing together helps),but only we could explain the “assless chaps” card.
An open mind. New settings can reveal sides of your partner you never noticed before, says Markman. And lose your bias against group travel. Sure, it’s not your usual crowd, but there’s a good chance you’ll make unexpected friends too.
“Meeting new people and getting to know them is almost always an overwhelmingly positive experience,” Markman says. “That good feeling then expands to the relationship itself as couples build new memories together that strengthen their foundation.”
Island Wind-jammers, Star Clippers, Mississippi cruises with American Cruise Lines, an evening sunset cruise near your hometown. To book a cruise like the one we went on, go to uncruise.com .
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The 8 Most Romantic Places in the World to Seriously Spice Up Your Sex Life
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We’ve rounded up the top 8 most romantic places in the world that will help you reignite the flame, add a little spice to your sex life, or simply explore the lost connection with your special someone.
There are a lot of great reasons to travel, but a study from Expedia certainly has us ready to pack our bags: Traveling with your girl can increase your confidence and sex drive .
Over fifty percent of Americans say they’re more likely to get frisky while away from home—and not just in the hotel bed.
While traveling, 45 percent have gotten hot and heavy in the shower, 25 percent on a beach, 23 percent in a hot tub, 17 percent in an outdoor tent, 16 percent in a pool, and 10 percent on a balcony.
Why does getting away make people want to get down? “Traveling can help reduce the levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
As stress and anxiety decreases, mood increases—bringing many, often unexpected, positive benefits in how we perceive ourselves, motivation and productivity, and our general outlook on life,” Linda Papadopoulos, a psychologist who worked with Expedia on the study, said in a statement.
Whether your sex life is struggling to stay lit or you want to take the fire from ablaze to roaring, sweeping her off for a romantic getaway may be just the ticket. And it doesn’t have to be just about the sex.
Check out these 8 best couples vacations from around the world that will help you put the lust back in wanderlust.
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With crystal clear waters, white sand beaches, and freshly-caught food, there isn’t a spot in the BVI that won’t skyrocket you to relaxation and put you in the mood.
Peter Island Resort & Spa in particular offers mood-setting couples massages, water sports lessons, and a five-mile running loop to work up a sweat with your girl.
But we like this spot for one particularly tantalizing feature: As a guest, you can book the resort’s secluded Honeymoon Beach for the afternoon and literally have a private beach to yourself where you’ll be undisturbed by other guests or hotel employees. Do with it what you may.
Room Rates: from $450/night; peterisland.com
If what you and your honey need is some R&R to reset your desires, this is your getaway. Situated at the edge of the Baja Peninsula, the One&Only Palmilla is practically oozing romance out of every beautiful corner.
The private villas are floor-to-ceiling glass, ensuring you soak in the dramatic ocean views every second of your stay.
If you’re tired of eating in traditional restaurants, dine in a bungalow at the beach or in one of the hotel’s romantic pods on the cliff’s edge, overlooking the ocean.
Guests can also rent one of three private coves, complete with a “floating bed” and a beach butler. See—what’s there to stress about?
Room Rates: from $492/night; oneandonlyresorts.com
Add a little arousal to your adventure by heading to aphrodisiac central: wine country. Skip Sonoma and head north to the less-crowded-but-still-delicious region of Osoyoos in Canada.
Just over the Washington border, this area boasts 40 wineries and is uniquely situated among the desert and mountains, so you can sip with your girl in front of breathtaking views.
Lay on the love by staying at the Watermark Beach Resort on the shores of Osoyoos Lake, which has biking packages so you can cycle from vineyard to vineyard, but also beachfront villas so you can soak your sore legs after a long day of drinking and cycling.
The resort also recently upped their wellness offerings to include experiences for couples, including a joint meditation and couples stand up paddleboard lessons. Cheers to that.
Room Rates: from $119; watermarkbeachresort.com
For the outdoorsy duo, Singletree is the essence of simplistic, rustic romance: The inn tops summer’s best outdoor activities with a romantic touch, like a scenic picnic after a 10-mile hike, wine and dinner by the river after a fly fishing lesson, or a champagne lunch on a canoe trip.
Stay in one of the lodge’s seven rooms and enjoy a candlelight dinner on the deck, or hideaway in a quiet cabin in the woods.
The B&B is right next to the 8,000 acre Hanging Rock State Park with everything from mountain biking to rock climbing, and down the road from a 5-star vineyard.
But make sure you don’t tire yourself out too much—stargazing so far from any light pollution out here is a surefire way to lock in the mood.
Room Rates: from $190/night; singletreegunandplough.com
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