Couple Sex Toys

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The Best Sex Toys for Couples, According to Sex Educators
Whether you’re quarantined together or going long-distance.
If you and your partner are looking to expand your horizons this Valentine’s Day, may we recommend a couples sex toy? And no need to limit yourself to a couples vibrator (unless that’s exactly what you’re looking for). With social distancing orders in place and most sex toy retailers still shipping worldwide, now’s as good a time as any to upgrade your sex toy collection. Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy mecca Babeland (which, FYI, is still open for online delivery anywhere in the world), tells SELF that there’s a widespread misconception that sex toys are a thing you use before you meet your partner—or when they’re out of town. But sex toys aren’t just for single folks.
“Sex toys allow you and your partner (or partners) to bring an exciting sensation that might not be possible with tongues, fingers, and genitals alone,” she says. “Think of sex toys as the sprinkles you add to an already delicious sundae.” Sounds good!
Read up on our tips for using sex toys with your partner, and while you’re at it, check out these 31 sex-educator-recommended sex toys for couples—including vibrating cock rings, strap-on harnesses, couples vibrators, and more. Whether you’re quarantined together or social distancing apart, you’re sure to find a couples sex toy that’ll spark joy (among other things). Just make sure you’re cleaning your sex toys too!
All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, sometimes you can’t physically be together when you want to be intimate, which is where remote-controlled or app-controlled vibrators come in handy. Lovehoney sex expert Ashley Cobb recommends this waterproof vibrator with rumbly vibrations that can be used internally or externally and connects via Bluetooth to an app your partner can control from wherever they are in the world. “It’s enjoyable especially in COVID times, when sometimes you can’t always get to your partner in person and you still want to create intimacy,” says Cobb. “Toys like these are good because your partner is still involved in the sexual experience.”
A pen-drive-shaped panty vibrator that clips into your underwear with a magnet, the Moxie is controlled via app, allowing your partner to control the vibration from 10, 100, or 3,000 miles away. Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy mecca Babeland, notes that “while there are tons of panty vibrators on the market, the magnet clip-in feature allows you to position the toy exactly where you want—including, if you have a penis, against the nerve-dense tip.” Game changer. 
Cobb recommends this remote-controlled vibrator because of its versatility and its “upscale” matte black appearance. It can be used externally or internally, as its insertable, flexible arms bend to fit in whatever position you choose. It can also be combined with other toys. “One of our users liked it because they said they used it on a suction dildo and made it into a rabbit setup,” says Cobb. “The possibilities are endless.”
For adding that clitoral sucking sensation to penetrative vaginal or anal sex (even in missionary position!), Finn recommends the Melt. “Its slim design and easy-to-hold handle allows it to fit better between bodies than other clit suction toys on the market like the Womanizer or Satisfyer,” she says. Plus, it can be controlled via app remotely, which means you can use it with your partner during a video sex date.
If you’re introducing toys into the bedroom for the first time, certified sex coach, educator, and writer Gigi Engle previously recommended trying ones that look less intimidating than hyper-realistic “monster” dildos. Jimmyjane’s The Form 2 is perfect for clitoral stimulation, and can be used on any hot spot on the body, really—and perfectly cute too, with its flexible bunny ears that hide pleasure-inducing dual motors. Though it’s small enough to slip into a clutch bag, its four speeds and five levels of intensity leave nothing to be desired.
Here’s another uniquely shaped clitoral-focused toy for all kinds of stimulation called The Zumio X, recommended by Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality, sex educator, relationship expert, and host of Sex With Emily. She notes that it is a great toy for “exploring all your erogenous zones, even ones you didn’t know you had.” Its slender stem has a small tip that rotates in tiny circles (in eight speeds and intensities, no less) to create deliciously precise sensations on the clitoris and beyond. “This makes it perfect for use during penetrative sex because you can add pinpoint stimulation exactly where—and when—you need it most,” she says. She recommends using the Zumio to explore your partner’s body (and let them explore yours) so you find new areas that deserve attention.
Combining precise stimulation with rumbly intensity, finger vibrators are great for both solo sex and couples. This mini finger vibrator from Dame Products slides right between two of your (or your partner’s) digits, offering a buzzy upgrade to hand or penetrative sex. About the size of a butter packet, it easily fits between two bodies. Love a vibe that doesn’t get in the way of pleasure, but adds to it! “If you prefer the tactile sensation of your partner’s fingers to that of a sex toy, you can position the vibrator on the top side of your fingers, which will turn your finger into a conduit for the vibration,” says Finn.
If you’re looking for a quiet, powerful toy that won’t attract attention, this “innovative” play on a finger vibrator is for you, says Morse. Created for people with dexterity challenges, it’s effortless to grip and has just one easy-to-read button. She says it can be used for all kinds of sex play: “Foreplay, oral sex, masturbation, and pretty much anywhere you want some good vibes. Slip this over your fingers and start to explore your partner’s body.”
PSA: Wand vibrators aren’t only good for solo sex. “Wand vibrators are a great addition to partnered play too,” says sex toy guru and pleasure expert Carly S., the founder of Dildo or Dildon’t. In fact, while the long handle and size is often what keeps people from introducing the toy with a partner, it’s also what gives the toy so much partnered pleasure potential. She explains: “The long handle is a great way to reach hot spots you wouldn’t be able to reach with your hands.” During rider-on-top, for example, the wand allows your partner to easily stimulate your clit or pubic mound. With 10 speeds and 20 patterns and some seriously dope color options (rose gold FTW!), you can’t go wrong with the Le Wand.
Sarah Sloane, a sex educator who’s been coaching sex toy classes at Good Vibrations and Pleasure Chest since 2001, is a big fan of wand vibrators for couples, and she recommends the cult-classic Magic Wand (previously known as the Hitachi). “The joy of this wand is that it has three hours of battery life,” she says. So if you like to take your time in bed, she says, “you don’t have to worry about lasting longer than your toy does.” Fair point.
G-spot vibrators like this one are also a fun addition during penetrative play, says Carly S. The We-Vibe Chorus has curved or bulbous ends for G-spot stimulation when used internally. Designed to provide internal and external stimulation to vulva-owners, “the Chorus has a super-adjustable neck that allows it to fit no matter the shape and size of your anatomy,” says Carly S. Because you can fit it tight against your body, it stays in place during penetrative play, allowing it to pulsate against your partner with each thrust. (Also, it can be controlled via app by a partner near or far.)
Though it’s very similar to the Chorus in shape and design, rather than featuring two vibrating arms, the Jive has only the vibrating G-spot arm. That’s why, according to Sloane, it’s a better option for people who prefer G-spot stimulation to clitoral.
For couples already experienced using sex toys, psychosexual therapist and host of the Sexual Wellness Sessions podcast Kate Moyle recommends this Lelo toy because it creates a more intense feeling. “It can be worn by the female partner and lets her share the vibrations with her partner,” she says. Because of the way the vibrator is curved, if inserted, it touches her G-spot and moves against him too, rotating to create a powerful sense of movement within both bodies.
For a combination of external and internal stimulation, Engle recommends the flexible Bender vibrator. She likes that you can actually curve its “slim, straight, minimalist shape” to touch both the clitoris and the G-spot (or just one or the other).
If you haven’t tried a bendable sex toy, you’re missing out. “Unlike most other vibrators, this toy bends, which allows you to customize it to fit your needs and wants,” says Finn. Want to explore G-spot or P-spot (that’s prostate) stimulation? Angle the shaft so the bulbous tip can hit the spot. Want to show the almighty clitoris some affection? Keep the toy flat and slip it between your legs. “Its versatility is what makes it an especially great option for a first couples vibrator,” she says.
Wearing a harness with a pocket for a bullet vibrator is another way to add vibration. Finn’s number-one harness recommendation is the Joque—for a number of reasons. “It is a strap-style harness, which means it can be adjusted to accommodate a wide variety of body shapes and sizes,” she says. And it’s machine-washable, so afterward you can simply pop it in the laundry basket for easy clean-up.
The Deuce features all the same perks as the Joque: vibrator pocket, machine-washable, adjustable. But it has two (two!) holes instead of just one. “It’s a great option for folks with flesh cocks who want to experiment with double penetration with their partners,” says Finn. It also allows those with erectile dysfunction to penetrate their partners hands-free.
Ready to experiment with pegging or strap-on sex? Look no further than this kit, which features an adjustable harness, two dildos (one that’s 6.5 inches, another that’s 5), and a powerful bullet vibe that slips seamlessly into the harness’s built-in pouch. “The dildos are made of firm silicone so they transmit the vibration really well to the receiver,” says Sloane.
Now that you’ve (maybe) got your harness with a bullet-vibrator pouch, you need the vibrator. Bullet vibrators are tiny and discreet in appearance but powerful in delivery. Finn recommends the Le Wand Bullet Vibrator. No bigger than a thumb, “it’s the right size to fit into most harnesses,” she says, including the Joque and Deuce. Equipped with 15 different intensity and vibrator modes, it features a much broader range of intensities compared to some bullet vibes, which only have one or two buzzy settings. “It also comes with two silicone sleeves that you can slide over the toy if you enjoy texture against your bits,” she says. 
If you’re on a budget—or want to make sure you enjoy using a couples vibrator before dropping a load of cash—fear not! “Nowadays you really don’t need to spend a lot of money to get a solid vibrator,” Sloane says. And that’s where the Unbound Zip comes in. For just under $20, this small, battery-operated bullet offers precise stimulation, fits in a harness, and is a perfect option for a starter couples sex toy.
Sloane tells SELF that vibrating cock rings are a great option for couples who love penetrative vaginal sex with penises or dildos. “Vibrating cock rings make a biological penis even firmer, while adding hands-free vibration that everyone can enjoy,” she says. She especially likes the Pivot because “it features a wide range of deep, rumbly vibrations.”
Not a fan of powerhouse vibes (*cough* wand vibrators *cough*)? The Lelo Tor 2 may be a better vibrating couples ring option. Also made of high-quality silicone, the Tor 2 has vibrations that are, as Sloane says, “less rumbly, less noticeable, and more buzzy than the Pivot.”
Combining blood flow constriction with vibration can be too much sensation for some folks with penises, Sloane says. That’s why for duos who are new to cock rings and vibration, she recommends this Halo ring. “It’s crafted so that you can slide in the bullet vibrator that comes with it, or take it out and use it as a standard cock ring.” Go at your own speed.
Pulsating penis sleeves (ahem) like this one come highly recommended from sex educator Cassandra Corrado—especially for duos where one or both partners has limited mobility or dexterity. Shaped like a taco shell, the Pulse Duo wraps around a penis to deliver stimulation. It can be used to deliver a hand-free finish or as a masturbation sleeve. “You or your partner can grip the toy and use it to stroke up and down the shaft,” she explains.
Add the Le Wand Loop to your shopping cart right alongside your wand vibe, suggests Carly S. A soft silicone masturbation sleeve that attaches to the head of the wand, “the Loop allows you to deliver broad rumbly vibration up and down the shaft, making it great for mutual masturbation and manual play,” she says.
Also known as a “strapless strap-on,” the Fun Factory Share allows the person doing the penetrating during strap-on play and pegging to be penetrated too, explains Finn. The wearer inserts the shorter arm into their vagina or anus, and then uses their pelvic floor muscles to hold onto the device while thrusting into their partner. Hello, feeling of fullness.
Oh, and this option vibrates. “The vibrations are strong and rumbly, and travel down both arms of the dildo to stimulate the wearer and receiver,” according to Sloane. But if you’d rather go without the vibrating feature, you can downgrade to the vibration-free version that comes in at $115.
For anal stimulation during sex, consider a vibrating rimming plug like this one. Carly S. explains the appeal of this anal vibrator thusly: “Many people say the sensation simulates analingis while also providing a feeling of anal fullness.” You can wear the vibrating plug while receiving oral, while giving it, or while having penetrative sex. 
The speed at which the b-Vibe plug rotates can be controlled via remote. “Give the remote to your partner and let them pick the setting,” she suggests. Just don’t forget: The anus isn’t self-lubricating, so you’ll also need a lube. Carly S. recommends Sliquid Sassy or Sliquid Satin.
Anal beads are another, more dynamic alternative to butt plugs, says Sloane, since they go in and stay in. “Anal beads are designed to be inserted and removed to increase stimulation to nerves around the anal sphincter.” Enter Cinco, a luxe string of silicone anal beads that vibrate, making that sensation much more intense. (Remember: Silicone-based lubes degrade silicone toys, so you’ll want a water-based lube while using these.)
We admit: The OhNut is not exactly a sex toy; it’s more of a pleasure enhancer. “It’s a sex device any couple that has someone who finds vaginal or anal penetrative sex painful or uncomfortable needs to know about,” says Sloane. Made up of stackable modular rings, the OhNut slides over the base of a penis, dildo, vibrator, or vibrating wearable dildo (like the Share) to limit how deep it can go.
She adds that in addition to reducing depth during penetration, the device can also provide clitoral stimulation in missionary and rider-on-top. Double the fun.
Other accessories that can heighten the mood can involve sensory deprivation. This simple pleasure product is one of the best ways to explore your kinky side, Carly S. tells SELF. “When you take away one sense, all other senses get heightened,” she says. “Even if the only thing your partner is doing is brushing your arm—because you can’t see it coming, it’s that much more erotic.” Do you actually need to invest in a special blindfold? Nope. A tube sock, tie, or sleep mask will do the trick. But “some people enjoy having an item specifically designated to sexy play,” she says.
And for basic maneuvering and comfort, no matter what position you choose, Carly S. recommends this foam positioning pillow. “Sex wedges help you get comfortable so you can experience more pleasure without doing more work,” she says. She suggests using it during missionary with an external vibrator. “The incline of the ramp increases the likelihood your partner will hit your G-spot while the vibrator pleasures your clit.”
Gabrielle Kassel is a sex and wellness writer and pleasure-advocate who is currently training to become a certified sex educator. In addition to SELF, her work has appeared in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Well & Good, Health, Shape, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more. In her free time, Gabrielle can be found... Read more
Malia Griggs is a writer, editor, and social storyteller who joined SELF's commerce team in July 2020. Previously, she worked at The Daily Beast, Comedy Central, and Cosmopolitan. In addition to shopping, she has written about mental health, burnout, epilepsy, race, and relationships.
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
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