Couple Relationship

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Whether you are in the early stages of dating… engaged… newlyweds… or been married for 25 years… you are likely thinking about the future.
A future alongside someone you love.
Someone who shares similar interests, dreams, beliefs, desires, hopes and fears.
But a relationship is only as good the communication it is based on.
External beauty will fade. Situations change. But relationship goals for couples should not.
Discussing and establishing these relationship goals early on is key if you want the relationship to last.
While it is true that couples should strive for compromise, it may not always work in their favor.
If you are too eager to give up on something you truly believe in or want, you will eventually breed some level of resentment for your partner.
Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But you will.
And it will likely escalate into something worse.
No relationship is worth you pretending to be someone you’re not.
It will end badly. 95% of the time, it will end badly…
There are few things worse than waking up one morning, only to find out that the person you’ve committed your time and love to has been harboring animosity.
Animosity over something you thought you were on the same page about.
How could this happen? Could it have been prevented?
By establishing relationships goals for couples, early on, you can prevent unpleasant surprises and heartache later in life. In this article, we will talk about 31 simple relationship goals you can use to enhance the quality of the partnership that you share with your significant other.
A quick definition: A relationship goal is a mutual value, outcome or viewpoint that you share with your partner. Instead of individual goals, you can use a relationship goal to inspire relationship and create something that you BOTH look forward to experiencing. Not only does it enhance your relationship, it also gives you something to talk and dream about.
If you're interested in developing a few of these goals with your partner, then here is a list of 21 ideas with examples you can use…
Want to set goals you can actually achieve? Then watch this video that provides a quick overview of SMART goals with 21 examples.
No two people are raised the same way.
Consider all these various viewpoints and values that different people have:
Church on Sunday.
Husband works, wife stays home
 with kids.
The working mom.
The stay at home dad.
The single parent.
The gay couple.
A big family.
Only child.
Nuclear family.
Extended family.
Foster family.
Divorce.
The two mom (or two dad) family.
Blue-collar family in a middle-class neighborhood.
Harvard educated CEO of a Fortune 500 Company, with the big house and fancy car.
Vote in every election.
Never vote.
Pro-life.
Pro-choice.
Accepting.
Relationships are all about finding that special someone who “gets you”… understands your unique perspective on the world and wants to build a life with you.
For instance, if you are a bleeding heart liberal and your potential mate is a staunch republican, how do you think this will play out?
Especially when and if the time comes for you to have children.
Maybe one of those children turns out to be gay?
Maybe one of them wishes to serve their country in the armed forces?
Maybe one of them falls in love with someone of another race or religion?
Your beliefs will play a crucial role in how you raise children.
And the best thing you can do as a parent, besides love your children unconditionally, is to be on the same page with your spouse when it comes to guiding and supporting them through life. It's all about understanding your why, your core values, and how your partner relates to these viewpoints.
After all, we grown-ups don’t like mixed signals… do you think a child does?
When I think about setting relationship goals for couples, discussing your beliefs is right at the top.
In some cases, couples with different beliefs can live in harmony.
But in most cases, it gets old fast. Especially when the day comes to put those beliefs to the test.
It’s often better to respectfully agree to disagree… and walk away.
Take care of the people you love. But take even better care of the people who love you!
The best thing you can do as a parent, besides love your children unconditionally, is to be on the same page with your spouse when it comes to guiding and supporting them through life.
The mac daddy of relationship goals for couples, if you will.
We live in a society where it is often assumed, expected even, that all married couples want children.
And if they are in utter and total agreement on that before they decide to pursue a relationship with each other… that is fantastic!
May they stand fast together on a united front when asked the question.
Not all couples are being honest with each other, or themselves, when the discussion first comes up.
Perhaps they think the other person is worth changing their mind for.
Maybe you feel guilty because this woman is perfect for you in every single way… except for the fact that she wants two kids.
Why are we willing to make exceptions, especially so early on in a relationship.
I mean, maybe you never really thought about having kids.
You want to take your wife kayaking and to concerts on the weekends… not to pee wee soccer games and dance recitals.
But trying to convince yourself that you’re okay without that… well, that is wrong.
You will only hurt her in the long run.
When you’re married three years and you just can’t seem to give in.
You deny her children, when she has always been upfront about wanting them.
The inability or refusal to give another person the children they want rarely ends well.
If you want children and your potential mate does not… cut your losses and move on.
Many people live happy, fulfilling, committed lives with another person… without ever being married.
There’s even a term for it… common law marriage, which is recognized in a number of states in the US.
People living together for a certain number of years are entitled to tax breaks, shared health benefits and other perks… same as a traditional married couple would be.
In states where the law is not recognized, it is not uncommon for people to get married in order to take advantage of those same benefits.
For some couples, this is after dating for many years.
Marriage is not always about the storybook romance.
It’s a practical decision, rather than an emotional one, for some people.
Conversely, there are people who choose to never marry because they simply enjoy the essence of maintaining their freedom… even while in the throes of a loving, committed relationship.
It’s personal choice, but one you and your potential mate should definitely talk about early on. (And if you do decide to get married, these marriage goals can help strengthen your relationship.)
They say that money changes everything.
And when you find yourself going from being single, to being a cohabiting couple, there are many questions that come up.
Should we open a joint checking account?
Will we be a one or two income household?
It’s always a good idea early on to educate yourself with practicing good money habits.
You don’t want to live so far above your means, that you find yourself getting into trouble later on… which can be a big stressor on a relationship.
Putting money aside is always a good idea. And a “rainy day” fund should be factored into your monthly budget.
Whether you are disciplined enough for a debit/credit card lifestyle, or you prefer a tangible cash method, you need to prioritize your finances with your significant other.
Not to say this has to be all work and no play… budgeting in some fun (trips, sporting events, date night, etc…) is perfectly acceptable.
A joint checking account cements your financial commitment to one another… and is a good idea.
Transparency is all the rage… in case you haven’t heard.
But having an account of your own for things like gifts, surprises, a pampering spa treatment… that is a good idea as well. (Here are some ideas for self care gifts that you can get for yourself or your partner!)
Especially if you decide that one partner is to stay home with the kids, while the other works outside the home.
I have witnessed many arguments among my parents friends about this.
Ones in which the husband (typically) makes his wife feel as if she needs to ask permission to buy a new pair of shoes because it’s technically “his” money.
Well, I have news for you… it’s not.
Sadly, the cost of living today has made staying at home with children more about saving money than about wanting to raise them.
And I by no means am implicating that most parents wouldn’t want to be home with their kids.
My husband and I ran the numbers for 3 children in daycare at one time, versus the income I would generate outside the home.
For us, my staying home made sense.
And your partner needs to view it as such… like when you feel you need to “ask” for those shoes.
I guarantee that after just one day in your stay-at-home parents shoes… he (or she) will be trying to give you a raise!
Or at least a matching clutch for those shoes.
Relationship goals that will make your love stronger.
Deciding where you want to live is a big deal, especially if you’re in a relationship. You need to be ready to take the plunge.
(Sidebar: If you'd like to learn more about how to improve your financial situation and build habits that help you save money, then I recommend checking out this book.)
Deciding where you want to live is a big deal! Especially when someone else is coming along for the ride.
If you’re in a relationship, it’s about proximity to work, access to restaurants or nightlife, ease of transportation, good schools, land, and square footage.
And it has to work for both of you.
Many factors will come into play here, like:
You need to hash these things out, do your research… and then be ready to take the plunge.
When you’re in a relationship, you’re often thinking… acting… exercising… even eating, for two.
You now have another person who depends on you.
From now on, every decision you make will affect that person. And he, or she, has to be okay with it.
That is why being the healthiest version of yourself is so important.
Because if you aren’t well, you run the risk of losing everything.
I’ve seen people lose their livelihood, their jobs, their loved ones… all because of poor health decisions.
Sure, we can’t always control the things that happen to us.
Healthy people have been known to get cancer.
But you can do your part by leading a clean lifestyle… give yourself a fighting chance.
Whether that means committing to an exercise routine you can stick with (walking and biking are excellent starts).
Well, none other than you had a craving for Thai one night.
It’s ok. Your secret is safe with me.
Or you can make a date night of sitting down to create an exercise and meal plan for the week.
Or you can print recipes and shopping lists right from your inbox… and make simple meals from scratch.
Or you could invest in a meal kid delivery service and not worry about many of the hassles that come with planning out your meals. (This is our favorite option with a detailed review.)
At the end of the day… whether you need to lose weight or your partner has high cholesterol, if you support each other on the road to fitness… you’ll be prepared for whatever lies on the road ahead.
There may be times in a relationship when you feel as if you’ve lost, or sacrificed, a part of who you are.
My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years… and have four children ages 8, 6, 4, and 3-years-old.
And while we were on the same page from Day 1 regarding wanting three or more children… there are days when we look back on the time before.
Not with regret… never with regret… but with a sense of awe.
When is the last time we went to a concert alone together?
Or just threw a duffle bag and tent in the trunk of our car on a Saturday morning and drove… with no particular place to go.  
Those things aren’t possible now without quite a bit of planning.
Planning kills spontaneity, but it also opens the door to new adventures.
Sure, we have our days when the kids test our limits.
When they leave us frazzled and exhausted…
But we also can’t picture ourselves anywhere else. They have made us who we are today.
And where we are today is in a place where we can dream.
Dream about our bucket list of adventures we will take. (To get started, we have over 500 bucket list ideas you can get started on today.)
Dreaming together keeps you focused on not only where you are, but where you want to go.
I want a relationship where we can act like idiots, talk about random things, and never get tired of each other!
Talking to one another is crucial to maintaining a happy, honest and lasting relationship.
I cannot stress enough the importance of communication.
Talking to one another is crucial to maintaining a happy, honest and lasting relationship.
And our days have a tendency to fly by.
But you need to make time to check in with your partner on a daily basis.
If you don’t make time to talk to one another, you’ll never know what’s going on… good or bad.
Your loved one wants you to feel happy for them, take pride, when something positive happens in their life. Even small victories deserve a celebration (or high five, at least).
As for the bad things… well, if you don’t nip them in the bud early on… they can spiral into something worse.
Even if it’s for ten minutes every night.
“But dad said I could go to the party!”
“What do you mean I can’t go to the movie with my friends?”
Ah… the joyful sounds of kids playing both sides.
It’s a game kids play early on… and it only gets worse.
The sooner you and your partner get on the same page with disciple, the less power your children will have over you.
The less likely you’ll be to “give in”.
Sure, it’s easy to cave and let them watch tv for 1 hour when you just want a moment’s peace after a long day.
Instead, when your children warrant discipline, send them to their rooms for a few minutes while you and yours take that time to discuss things.
Let them know a punishment is coming.
Let your kids know that you are a unified front when it comes to discipline… and that you’ll decide together what is appropriate.
There is a common theme among all of the suggested relationship goals for couples… and that is communication.
And sometimes the best way to communicate in on a date.
Whether it is once a week, or once per month, date nights are a fantastic way to escape the day-to-day muckety muck that can build up in your relationship.
It is important to have “dates” in your relationship. Even if you are married with kids.
It’s a chance to take a breath and remember who you are… and that you are stronger together.
Engaging in an activity together brings something to the relationship that you can both relate to.
So besides setting aside a date night, why not consider spicing things up by signing up for a yoga class… volunteer group… acting workshop… co-ed softball league?
Engaging in an activity together brings something to the relationship that you can both relate to.
When you are head over heels in love with someone… it’s natural to want to spend as much time with them as possible.
After all, if you live with someone, I would certainly hope that you enjoy being around them.
Conversely, if you were to ask most couples, they would admit to enjoying the occasional time alone as well.
Sit in the man (or woman) cave and binge watch the game.
It doesn’t mean your partner is growing tired of you.
It simply means they want to recharge… so that they can return to their regularly scheduled program a little bit more relaxed and appreciative of what they have.
If you are in a relationship, and you promise your partner something… word is bond.
Your word is everything when it comes to trust.
Just as some of you promised to have and to hold… in good times and bad.
If you promise you’ll be home early to catch your son’s ball game, or take your wife to see that movie on opening night… you better be there.
There is no good excuse for letting down loved ones.
Always be upfront and your relationship will be the better for it.
I’m sure you’ve heard this one before.
And I’m sure that if you’re in a serious relationship, you’ve been guilty of this… at least once.
Not all relationship goals for couples are rocket science.
Obviously, if you are going to bed angry… that means you’re either:
To the first point, if you’re mad and your partner has no idea why… that’s just unfair. Every person deserves the chance to explain their side, defend themselves if necessary.
Next, if you’re refusing to talk with your partner after he or she voiced some discontent… you’re closing the lines of communication.
Which, say it with me now, is the cornerstone of a good relationship!
Do not walk away. Hear them out. State your case.
Finally, if you’re afraid that the discussion will escalate into a marathon argument… deal with it. You can sleep when you’re dead.
After all, we’ve all stayed up late having drinks with friends or binge-watching Netflix… I’m pretty sure it’s only fair to do the same for the person you love.
Who is trying to get something off their chest.
You may need an extra cup of coffee in the morning… but you won’t have this looming over your head unnecessarily all day long.
And your mood will thank you for it.
If you want to create a long term relationship, it is important to never go to bed angry.
There will likely come a time (or two, or three) in your relationship where the bond between family and partner is put to the test.
Your parents want you and your significant other to spend Thanksgiving at their house.
More often than not, the male partner will succumb to his fiance’s wishes.
And when that does happen, in some cases, his parents may become resentful of the fiance.
Maybe they even say something catty about her that upsets you, like “she’s controlling”.
This example is fairly minor as far as incidents go… yet as we all know, there will likely come a time (or two, or three) in our relationship where the bond between family and partner is put to the test.
Maybe it is about where you spend holidays.
Maybe it’s where you choose to live.
Maybe it’s how you want to raise your children.
Maybe it’s who gets to babysit more.
But as stressful as it is, you can’t possibly choose.
You shouldn’t choose (unless of course you’re in a self-destructive or dangerous relationship).
If you are happy and confident in your relationship with your lover… nothing should make you question that. Or the decisions you make toget
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