Couple Feelings
🛑 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Couple Feelings
Why Expressing Feelings With Your Partner Is Worth the Emotional Risk
Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2022 Dotdash Media, Inc. — All rights reserved
Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more .
Medically reviewed by
Carly Snyder, MD
Learn about our
Medical Review Board
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Should I Tell My Partner What Happens in Therapy?
22 Mental Health Books Every Kid Should Read
Tips for Using Words of Affirmation in the Workplace
How You Can Make a Break up Go Much Smoother
Anger Management Techniques to Calm You Down Fast
Healthy Ways to Express Jealousy in Relationships
Why Are You Feeling Lonely in a Relationship?
How the Quality Time Love Language Impacts Your Relationship
Verywell Loved: Enduring Stigma Keeps Things Complicated for Bisexual Men
How Would You Know If Your Marriage Is In Trouble?
Is There Manipulation in Your Relationship?
8 Tips for Improving Your Relationships by Decreasing Verbal Impulses
Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2022 Dotdash Media, Inc. — All rights reserved
Verywell Mind is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family.
We've updated our Privacy Policy, which will go in to effect on September 1, 2022. Check it out here
Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book.
Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.
It's much easier to share your thoughts, the intellectual information that is in your brain, than your feelings. Both women and men can have a difficult time expressing feelings, although male partners seem to have an even harder time with heart-to-heart communication. 1
Sharing the depth of your feelings that are in your heart takes emotional risk and courage, as it can make you feel exposed and vulnerable.
However, expressing your feelings is also the very thing that will create closeness and connection in your relationship. By sharing what is in your heart with your partner, you can achieve deeper intimacy . 2
Try these tips to help you feel more comfortable and prepared to express feelings with your partner.
Accept that feelings are neither right nor wrong. Instead, it is the behavior that results because of the feeling that is morally judged.
For example, just because you are angry, you do not have the right to behave violently. Managing negative feelings means accepting them without allowing them to overrun us.
Describe the feeling by saying it or writing it down. Think about how to help your partner have empathy, or how to help them understand what it's like to walk in your shoes.
If you're having a difficult time finding the right words, remember that most feelings can be summed up in a single word, including:
If you are not someone who is used to expressing feelings, this may feel awkward at first. Practicing it in small steps will make it easier.
For example, start by saying out loud, "I feel angry," or "I feel sad."
It's important not to confuse feelings with your mood or thoughts. Feelings come and go and change quickly, while a "mood" is a sustained period of an emotional state.
Feelings convey our emotions (and are said to come "from the heart") while thoughts occur in our brains and convey what we are thinking as well as our beliefs. Feelings can also be physical sensations.
Another way to help you distinguish your thoughts from your feeling is to use the "I think vs. I feel" rule. If you can substitute the words "I think" for "I feel" in a sentence, then you have expressed a thought and not a feeling.
For example, "I feel hurt" is correct because you would not say "I think hurt," right? Whereas a statement like "I feel that he is a jerk" is incorrect. You "think" he is a jerk.
Try to not judge your own or your partner's feelings. If you want your partner to continue to share on a deep level, it is important not to get irritated or defensive about the feeling expressed to you.
Likewise, rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it. Do not say things like "Don't worry, be happy" or "You shouldn't feel that way." Doing so invalidates how the other person feels.
Verbalize feelings with your partner directly. Your partner can't read your mind. While they may pick up on your vibe, they have no way to know what's going on in your head unless you tell them.
When verbalizing your feelings, it's also important to share your deeper underlying feeling, not just surface feelings. You might be expressing anger but underneath feel hurt or embarrassed. This is much more crucial to express to your partner directly to develop closeness and intimacy.
You do not have to have deep, serious conversations about your relationship daily, but you do have to share your feelings (not just your thoughts) about what is going on with you day-to-day.
Saying that you were "late for a meeting" gives the basic information only. But saying you "feel embarrassed about being late for a meeting" helps you connect to the person you are speaking with.
While you should share feelings daily, it's important to avoid making daily decisions based on those feelings. When you are making decisions , feelings will be a part of the process, but you must also think logically and rationally.
To be successful at sharing your feelings, you need to be open, honest, willing to make time for each other, and receptive to these talks. 3 This needs to be a reciprocal process. You both must share on an intimate level with each other; it can't just be one of you.
If you're having trouble expressing your feelings, consider couples counseling (either together or alone) to better understand what is preventing you from taking an emotional risk and having heart-to-hearts regularly with your partner.
Chaplin TM. Gender and emotion expression: a developmental contextual perspective . Emotion Review . 2015;7(1):14-21. doi:10.1177/1754073914544408
Kardan-Souraki M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Asadpour I, Mohammadpour RA, Khani S. A review of marital intimacy-enhancing interventions among married individuals . Glob J Health Sci. 2016;8(8):53109. doi:10.5539/gjhs.v8n8p74
Monin JK, Martire LM, Schulz R, Clark MS. Willingness to express emotions to caregiving spouses . Emotion . 2009;9(1):101-106. doi:10.1037/a0013732
Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up.
There was an error. Please try again.
Share
Pin it
Tweet
Share
Email
Share
Pin it
Tweet
Share
Email
Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack. Read full profile
The more you get to know a person, the easier it becomes to run out of things to say. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to give your partner the silent treatment. Without intellectual stimulation, your relationship will quickly grow stagnant. If you’re in need of a new conversation starter, try out one of these fifteen things happy couples talk about.
Are there any memories that you can recall so vividly that you feel like it was yesterday? It could be something funny like the time you got busted making out on a Ferris wheel, or something romantic – like your surprise trip to a bed and breakfast. Reminiscing about your greatest hits will help you remember why your relationship is so special.
Snuggle up on the sofa with your partner and a photo album. Tell them a story about the photos that grab your attention (and don’t forget to ask them to do the same!).
Tell your partner about the silly little things that make you smile. An ability to make you laugh with nothing more than a glance. A pet name so adorable that it makes your friends groan. A tone of voice or physical attribute that sends your mind straight to a naughty place.
It’s unfair to hold a grudge over an issue that you’re unwilling to discuss. Your partner doesn’t have psychic powers. Be upfront if you feel confused, neglected, or upset. Talking through your feelings will help you identify the root of the problem.
If you’re a superhero, your partner is your trusted sidekick. Don’t be afraid to ask for their input when you face problems in your professional life. They might think of a brilliant solution that you never would have imagined by yourself.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn’t just a fictional character in my mind. She is a personal hero whose story helped me through some difficult times when I was a teenager. If you want to learn something interesting, ask your partner about their role-models or pop culture heroes.
Slip on a puddle and fall on your butt? Forget about it. Blurt out an awkward comment that makes you blush? Laugh it off. These little things aren’t worth your concern. Turn an awkward situation into a comedic moment by telling your partner a funny story about it.
Big decisions like choosing a honeymoon destination, how much to save for your retirement, and where to send your children to school should be discussed in depth. Don’t delay. Procrastinating will only make your life more stressful, since you’ll have less time to deliberate.
Healthy debates about world events will keep your mind sharp. It’s human nature to be stubborn, so I doubt you’ll change your mind. But you’ll come away with a better understanding of why your partner believes the things they do, helping you grow closer.
You don’t need an earth-shattering idea to start a conversation. All you have to do is observe something interesting, point it out, and ask your partner a related question. To test this theory, take your partner to the mall and see how many things you can observe. It’ll be fun!
You’re not kidding anybody when you tell your partner, “Nothing is the matter.” There is nothing strong about choosing to fight your battles alone. Humble yourself. Ask for help (maybe just a hug?). A tight squeeze and listening ear can make any situation seem more bearable.
It’s unhealthy to become completely dependent on another person for your happiness. Tell your partner about the ambitions you have that don’t involve your relationship. You’ll be able to keep each other encouraged while you pursue the things that captivate your interest.
Communication is often the difference between a successful relationship and a rotten one. Being able to provide direction to your partner about the things that turn you on (and off) during a romantic romp, for example, will make a big difference in the quality of your sex life.
It is okay to make an honest mistake, but it’s not okay to pretend it didn’t happen. If you do something inconsiderate or hurtful, admit your fault. Don’t judge yourself, but do explain yourself. Address the character flaws responsible for the poor behavior to strengthen your relationship.
Happy couples plan ahead so they don’t run into unpleasant surprises. If you don’t express how much you want to have a family, you could get attached to a person who has no interest in having children. Compatibility isn’t guaranteed to be a permanent thing. Periodically ask your partner detailed questions about their future to make sure you have a place in it.
Happy couples communicate (that is the important part!). What would you add to this list? Tell us in the comments!
Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.
Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.
© 2005 - 2022 Lifehack · All Rights Reserved.
Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2022 Dotdash Media, Inc. — All rights reserved
Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more .
Medically reviewed by
Carly Snyder, MD
Learn about our
Medical Review Board
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Should I Tell My Partner What Happens in Therapy?
Best Online Couples Counseling of 2022
Couples Therapy Inc. Online Counseling Review
Major Depressive Disorder Treatments
ReGain Online Couples Therapy Review
Stress From Work and Money Can Damage Your Sex Life
Best Places to Get Relationship Support of 2022
My Partner Doesn’t Find Me Attractive Anymore: What Should I Do?
Best Online Sex Therapy Programs of 2022
What To Know About Sex Addiction Therapy
Here are some tips for improving your conflict resolution skills
Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2022 Dotdash Media, Inc. — All rights reserved
Verywell Mind is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family.
We've updated our Privacy Policy, which will go in to effect on September 1, 2022. Check it out here
Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.
Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.
Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy that can help you and your partner improve your relationship. If you are having relationship difficulties, you can seek couples therapy to help rebuild your relationship.
“Couples therapy can address a wide range of relationship issues, including recurring conflicts, feelings of disconnection, an affair, issues related to sex, or difficulties due to external stressors,” says Brian Mueller , PhD, a psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center who specializes in couples therapy.
Couples therapy can help you at any stage of your relationship, regardless of marital status, age, race, faith, or sexual orientation.
Some forms of this therapy include marriage counseling , premarital counseling , and family therapy . It is typically a short-term form of therapy.
According to Mueller, there are numerous approaches to couples therapy, which can include:
Couples therapists often employ an integrated approach to treatment, borrowing techniques from different forms of therapy, depending on your needs.
These are some of the strategies a couples therapist might employ:
Couples therapy can give you and your partner the opportunity to discuss and resolve issues related to several aspects of your relationship, which can include:
“People report feeling more connected to their partner and their own feelings, as well as more secure, spontaneous, and playful in the relationship. When people feel more secure in their relationship, they can become more assertive and adventurous in other parts of their life,” says Mueller.
Benefits of couples therapy include reduced relationship distress and increased relationship satisfaction.
These are some of the benefits couples therapy can offer:
According to a 2014 summary, couples therapy can help with relationship satisfaction, communication, forgiveness, problem solving, and resolution of needs and feelings. 1
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) particularly has strong research support across a wide range of concerns, according to Mueller. He says numerous studies have shown that couples who receive eight to 12 sessions of EFT report reduced distress and increased relationship satisfaction for both partners, with benefits lasting even two years after treatment.
Couples therapy ideally requires participation from you and your partner. However, if your partner is not open to it, you can also opt to do couples therapy alone, to better understand your relationship and how you can improve it.
If you and your partner undertake it together, you may find that one or both of you also need separate therapy sessions to help deal with the issues brought up in couples therapy.
If you or your partner are also dealing with other issues, like substance abuse for instance, your therapist might suggest specialized therapy for treatment.
Couples therapy can help resolve issues related to domestic abuse . However, if you are afraid of your partner or don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, contact the police or a shelter near you for help.
If you feel your relationship would benefit from couples therapy, discuss it with your partner and see if they’re open to it. If they’re resistant to it, explain why it’s important to you and how you think it might help your relationship.
The next step is to find a practitioner. Couples therapy is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists; however, other psychologists and psychiatrists may offer it as well. Friends or family might be able to suggest someone you can go to, or if you’re seeing a therapist for other reasons, they may be able to refer you to a specialist.
Check with your partner what days and timings work for them. Try to find a therapist who is conveniently located, if you and your partner prefer in-person sessions. Make sure the therapist takes your insurance plan .
When you start therapy, you and your partner will probably have to fill out forms detailing your medical history and insurance information. You may also have to fill out questionnaires to help your therapist better understand your relationship, the issues you’re facing, and what you hope to gain from therapy.
Your therapist will work with you and your partner to outline the goals for therapy. While couples therapy typically involves joint sessions, your therapist may also do individual sessions with you or your partner. They may also assign homework.
If you and your partner are going through a rough patch , couples therapy can help you work on your relationship and improve it. Your therapist can help you express your feelings, discuss issues with your partner, and resolve conflicts.
Couples therapy can help increase understanding, respect, affection, and intimacy between you and your partner, which can help you be happier together.
By Sanjana Gupta
Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.
Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up.
There was an error. Please try again.
Teen Cowgirl Pics
Karina Elle Nude
Fat Black Girls Porn