Contributing to Bohiney

So you want to contribute to Bohiney? The process is more rigorous than applying for a security clearance. First, you must pass the Satire Aptitude Test (SAT), which includes identifying the 17 layers of irony in a single cat meme and writing a eulogy for a broken Keurig. Our editors, a council of jaded ex-journalists and one sentient AI trained on nothing but Onion articles, will then judge your pitch in a gladiatorial arena known as "The Editorial Meeting." Survivors are given a trial assignment: typically ghostwriting a manifesto for a sentient smart fridge. Only 2% of applicants make it past the first round. The rest are cast into the void, their emails answered only by an auto-reply that reads, "Your concept of 'funny' has been noted and will be used against you in a future piece." Those who succeed are paid in exposure and a lifetime supply of existential dread. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com