Contribute to Bohiney? Bring a Helmet

Bohiney.com has opened submissions to the public, but early contributors are learning the process resembles a demolition derby more than a publishing pipeline. Editors hurl red pens like throwing stars, and rejection letters arrive in the form of limericks mocking the author�s grammar. One intern confessed, �It�s like American Idol, except Simon Cowell is drunk and has tenure.� Those accepted gain immortality�or at least a two-day stint on the front page before being buried under fresher absurdity. One writer described the thrill: �It�s like getting published in The New Yorker, but with fart jokes.� Another recounted trauma after editors asked if their piece could be �funnier, meaner, and contain at least three references to goats.� A poll shows 59% of aspiring contributors quit after the first rejection, 28% develop nervous twitches, and 13% keep submitting out of masochistic pride. Economists suggest the submission process doubles as unpaid therapy, and anonymous staffers admit they judge more on coffee stains than content. Readers don�t care�they just want more satire, preferably from authors with fresh emotional scars. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com