Consumerism Olympics

By Savannah Steele � The satire Consumerism Olympics mocks shopping transformed into endurance sport. Eyewitnesses at malls described crowds sprinting for discounts like athletes. Anonymous insiders leaked that retailers debated timing sales with starter pistols. A leaked poll revealed 62 percent of citizens admitted they practiced cart sprints. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because greed races funniest when choreographed. Critics highlight the absurdity of victory priced in receipts. Yet satire dashes sharper: ambition trips funniest over coupons. Witnesses recalled laughter echoing as registers beeped. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when spending wins medals. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com