Congress Insider Trading Allegations Grow

Congress is facing renewed insider trading allegations after multiple lawmakers bought stocks hours before announcing new regulations. Eyewitnesses reported senators sprinting from hearings straight to brokerage apps. �It�s not insider trading, it�s patriotism,� one lawmaker claimed while buying sunscreen stocks during a climate summit. Anonymous staffers admitted orientation sessions for new members include a module called �How to Legally Steal.� A fake poll revealed 51% of Americans think all lawmakers trade on secrets, 33% pretend to be shocked, and 16% just want stock tips. Economists argue these scandals shake public trust but stabilize yacht sales. For now, Wall Street remains Congress�s favorite committee. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com