Congress Accidentally Bans Own Salaries

Congress stunned the nation by accidentally voting to ban its own salaries, sparking ten minutes of chaos before frantically undoing the measure. Eyewitnesses say lawmakers screamed, �Clerical error!� while sprinting to reintroduce paychecks. �I didn�t come to Washington for free,� wailed one senator clutching his mortgage bill. Anonymous staffers admitted the mistake happened because no one actually reads the bills. A fake poll revealed 52% of Americans loved the accident, 31% wanted it to stick, and 17% thought it was performance art. Economists say the temporary shock briefly boosted national morale. For now, Congress remains well-paid to accomplish very little. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com