Confessions Of A Size Queen

Confessions Of A Size Queen

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When you can’t find what you’re looking for, sometimes you got to DO IT YOURSELF!
For ages, I carried a purse the size of a rucksack – the bigger the bag, the more crap you haul around. Did I really need a foil space blanket, lipgloss, small sewing kit, mascara, travel toothbrush, rain poncho, granola bars, first aid kit, eyeliner, waterproof matches, a “mini” Gerber Suspension tool with scissors, hand sanitizer, and two MREs? Did I suddenly become a survivalist?
After growing weary of the pack mule routine, I downsized to a clutch. A lipstick, credit cards, cash, and my keys – easy breezy, right? While I did like carrying less than an Eagle Scout on a two week camping trip – I missed having my camera and sketch book on hand. I was suffering from a Goldilocks complex – the first bag was too big, the second too small. I needed a bag that was juuussst right!
A few sketches, new fabric from Spool, Â and some time at the old sewing machine and I had my just right bag! It measures 14″ x 14″, with two large interior pockets to hold the small stuff.
Reverse side of the Just Right Purse
It won’t fit a pup tent or a bedroll, but it carries what I need! It’s the purse that’s Just Right!
Which ultimately begs the question – what sort of gal lies around in bed all day and relies on large, potentially vicious, land mammals to fix her breakfast?
Hi, gang! It's Mrs. Crankipants here to present TALES FROM THE SUBWAY The subway can be a convenient way to get around, but every now and then you have to put up with some nonsense - trash, garbled announcements, late trains, weirdos, the pungent aroma of fermented wino urine and…
Mrs. Crankipants here, with another installment of Step Away From The Pastry Bag! As much as I would hate to beat a dead horse, our friend Flicka in the photo above, looks as dead as Britney Spear's career. I'm sure that the artiste with the bag of butter cream meant…
Feast your eyes, boys and girls, on Earth Shoes - the ugliest shoes on the planet! Well, except maybe Birkenstocks. Oh wait, I forgot about Vibrams. Earth Shoes were sold for comfort, certainly not for looks unless you like that sort of thing. If that's the case, you probably drove an…
And hurray, it matches your Cranky Skirt and Cranky shirt! I am a true bag lady and I feel like one can never have too many bags. My husband recently came home from a convention/trade show with about 4 canvas bags with company logos screened on them. I sewed in an inside pocket, then cut a strip of retro-look bark cloth and sewed it on the outside to cover the logos. Sneaky, huh? I will take a pic and send it.
As well as my new kitchen curtains!
Interesting idea, I never thought to do that.
The outside piece could also be a large pocket depending on the size of the logo.
I’d love to see your photos!
I’ve had the urge of pinning the Lucky Strikes logo over the Whole Foods logo on the shopping bags they sell.
Have you ever used one of those tinfoil space blankets ?
They have the consistency of saran wrap.
Once I went camping….and forgot my sleeping bag.
I had a blanket in my car which I put on the floor of my tent, and when I was ready for bed, I turned off my flashlight and attempted to unfold the space blanket in the dark.
I would unfold, and it would just re-fold in the opposite direction.
After 3 or 4 minutes of squit-squit-squit-squit and it wasn’t any bigger than when I first started, I bellowed “WHAT THE %&*$ IS GOIN’ ON HERE ?”
Then I turned on my flashlight and solved the puzzle.
How could you forget to take a sleeping bag on a camping trip? Ah well, at least you remembered the tent!
So what was the puzzle of the tinfoil space blanket?
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People say I'm a "size queen" and maybe they're right. I happen to like a man who's well endowed, not like sucking on a AA battery for example.

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I do not like those little things That buzz around my head I often want to pull their wings; I would love to see them dead I do not like these little things Especially in bed. And if they, too, had little wings I’d pull at them instead.
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