College Girls First Time Lesbian

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College Girls First Time Lesbian
In intimate detail, one woman describes the first time she *almost* had sex during her freshman year at NYU.
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and I knew that I wasn't ready to have one-night stand,
but I was also really horny all the time
and honestly, I would've slept with anyone
My sober self knew that I wasn't ready,
I wore a decidedly puritanical outfit
Like, just the like the ugliest bra you could think of.
We go to the party and I get drunk.
There was like, beer pong and people were shotgunning
and mixing all sorts of flavored vodkas.
I sort of loved it and hated it at the same time.
And I see this guy who's wearing a frat shirt,
and I was like, You, you're perfect.
I don't think we exchanged any words.
And at one point, he was like, Wait, pause,
on my friend Shula's dorm room wall.
to go back to his dorm room and hook up.
I do remember sort of panicking on the way there,
knowing that his expectations and mine were different
He took off my shirt, and the first thing he said
At this point I'm sobering up a little bit,
and I think, Am I gonna go through with this?
But I wanted to be polite, I didn't wanna offend him.
So I was just going with the strategy of distracting him.
So I was like, What kind of books do you like?
And he was like, I don't really read,
and kept pulling at my skirt, trying to get it off.
And I was like, Okay, but if you had to pick
just one book that you've read that you really liked.
And he was like, Okay, who's the guy
and certified academic asshole, was aghast.
and he kept kissing my neck and just littering my body
with all these horrible teenage-y hickeys,
And so I just went with the first thing
that popped in my head, I'm on my period,
It was like, Can you at least do anything?
And my closing line was, Not if you like Michael Crichton.
As I'm walking home, I have my shoes in my hand
and don't feel bad about offending a bro at a party
because you don't owe them anything.
Learn how to say no in whatever way you know how.
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[Narrator] I was 18 and moved to New York for college.
In high school I was an overachiever.
did over 600 hours of volunteer work,
and in my senior year, I took eight classes
But college was going to be different.
I knew what I wanted and what I wanted was sex.
The on-ampus housing staff must've had a cruel sense
of humor because we had the same name.
But the similarities stopped there.
Her half of the closet was bright pink dresses
and my half was shades of gray skinny jeans.
She was so chipper and earnest and nice,
so I continually found reasons to blow her off.
I got what my doctor would later call
the worst case of mono I've ever seen
from a grungey guy I hooked up with
after pretending to like death metal.
So now I was bedridden and miserable.
I ended up spending a lot of time with my roommate.
Lindsay took care of me, bringing me protein shakes
with a straw when I was too sick to eat.
And suddenly we were great friends.
Once I recovered from my four month stint with mono,
I was wearing a dress and had some sort of
cleavage situation going on, trying so hard to fit into
my idea of what it meant to go out, hook up, flirt.
It all felt like such a costume and it was.
I think Lindsay even got me to dance,
but it was the most fun I'd had since I started college.
We went back to our dorm room that night
We hugged and the hug just never seemed to end.
Literally, we were just standing there in the middle of our
tiny room, embracing each other for maybe 20 minutes
longer, neither of us saying anything.
I asked her if she wanted to stay in my bed that night
so we could keep hugging, you know, as friends do.
So we're in this tiny twin bed and we're spooning,
I was surprisingly the little spoon,
I could feel her nod yes into the back of my neck.
Even more time goes by and I still haven't fallen asleep
and the sun is coming up and I ask her again, are you awake?
I ask her, do you want me to kiss you?
We couldn't stop, even after both of our mouths were dry
and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking,
what the fuck is happening right now?
This went on for months, slowly escalating
not only physically but emotionally,
hooking up in secret and still totally convinced
that we were both straight, we were just best friends,
this is totally just what best friends did.
Long story short, we're still roommates and best friends,
Since that first dorm room we've lived in
nine apartments together, upgrading from a twin dorm bed
to a full sized IKEA about a year ago.
When I started college, I felt so sure of what I wanted.
I wanted to have casual sex with guys, but here I am,
five years later, I don't wear dresses,
I'm always the big spoon, and I'm a lesbian.
Though not everything changed, I'm still a nerd
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