College Dorm Sex Stories

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College Dorm Sex Stories
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Chloe Anello , Lauren Tom and Isabel Calkins

Isabel Calkins
Isabel is a full-time freelance writer covering all things lifestyle, sex, and wellness.

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"Then I realized he had peed on me..."
Sex in college is unlike any other sex you'll ever have, which is probably for the best. Between doing it in bunk beds and being sexiled by your roommate, things get very, um, interesting . Cosmopolitan.com asked 15 twentysomethings about their craziest college hookup stories, and the results are amazing (no. 7 👀).
1. "I had been hooking up with one of my guy friends for a while, and one night, we both met up at the bar and were really drunk, so we went back to my dorm. We fooled around and then fell asleep but I was shortly woken up after by feeling a warm liquid on me and thought he had jacked off. Then I realized he had peed on me and I was shocked and grossed out. I elbowed him and he woke up. I guess he realized what happened and told me he was going to leave. The next day he left his wallet in my room so I had to awkwardly give it back to him. Safe to say we never hooked up again." — Paula , 21
2. "My girlfriend and I snuck away during a friend's birthday dinner and we had sex in the bathroom. We both came out completely disheveled and everyone knew what had happened. " — Michael , 20
3. "I liked this guy who had a girlfriend, and the first night I went out at school in the fall, we ended up hooking up in a public restroom in a dorm building because we were both commuters. He was fucking me from behind, and the hand dryers came on . It was hysterical!" — Sarah , 24
4. "I met a guy on Tinder and met up with him at a frat party that same night. This was my first frat party ever, mind you. We went home together, had sex, and went on to date for almost a year." — Georgia , 20
5. "Once I met this guy at a bar and we started making out. A little later in the night, I met his twin and could not tell them apart at all. I forgot which one I had kissed and ended up accidentally going home with the other one!" — Lilly , 23
6. "Met a guy on the bus back from the bar where I had left my friends (who also had my phone). Once we were back on campus, the guy invited me back to his friend's house for a party. We hooked up and I fell asleep. I did not have my phone, so when I woke up the next morning, I used the guy's phone to contact my friends. Once I reached them, they freaked out and told me they had filed a missing person's report because they had my phone and couldn't get in contact with me. So they picked me up and brought me to the police station to confirm that I was in fact found. Fun times." — Jamie , 21
7. "One Monday in college, my friend and I were more bored than usual and decided to head to one of the bars on campus. The bar was pretty empty, as expected, so we grabbed a seat at the bar to take some shots. A few shots later, we were approached by two older-looking guys who offered to buy us drinks. We were bored and broke, so why not? A few drinks later, the two guys ended up coming back to play some beer pong. It wasn't until after a couple of games and one too many drinks that one of them starts pumping up the music and stripping for all of our roommates. Turns out one of them used to be a stripper and now they are both state troopers! Overlooking the stripper thing, I guess the state trooper thing was a turn-on in the moment because we ended up going upstairs and having the best sex of my life. Woke up with a clump of hair on the floor and my legs still shaking." — Mairead , 22
8. "My boyfriend and I decided to have sex on the countertop in the dorm bathrooms. As we were getting into it, I slipped backward and fell into the sink. I ended up with a huge bruise on my back from the faucet." — Michelle , 20
9. "Having s ex with someone on a frat couch ... during a frat party." — Elli , 21
10. "We broke into the architecture building at my school. I picked her up and laid her onto a table and smashed some kid's project in the process. I'm guessing the project was a lot of work because it was 2 in the morning and a kid was working on his on the other side of the room." — Ryan , 20
11. "Went to the mall and had sex in Macy's ." — Brooke , 20
12. "I hooked up with a guy sophomore year, and after we were done, he goes, 'I think you need someone with a little less experience. By the way, can I borrow your Rent DVD?' I was so taken aback, I was just like, 'Um, I guess??' I never saw him or my DVD again. " — Sam , 21
13. "I go to a big Division I college and we live for football. Because of my major, I have classes with a lot of the athletes and became friends with many football players. One night in a snowstorm, I went over to one of their apartments and had sex with him for longer than any other time in my life. When we woke up, there was so much snow I couldn't walk home, and his roommate, the quarterback, had to drive me home. Now he is in the NFL. " — Kate , 22
14. "One time after summer vacation, I came back to school, and right after getting back together with my boyfriend, we hooked up in the boys' shower. It was all fun and games until half the guys on our floor saw us walk out of the bathroom together. " — Carly , 19
15. "My first weekend freshmen year, I met this boy at a party, and he was so confident and smooth-talking, and what did I know as an eager freshmen? Well, we went home together and after we're done having sex, he looks at me and goes, 'Oh, by the way, that was my first time. '" — Emily , 25
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" There is nothing more uncomfortable than someone walking in on you doing the deed. Now imagine that the person that walks in on you is your freshman roommate that you do not get along with. It is no surprise that trying to have sex in a shared freshman dorm room that's literally the size of a shoe box is almost impossible. My experience with this happened when my boyfriend came up to visit. We went to dinner and came back to an empty dorm room. So, we were hanging out and things were starting to happen so naturally, I locked the door. In the middle of us having sex my roommate just walked right in. I’m not quite sure how she unlocked the door without us hearing it and opened the door so quietly that we were not aware but nevertheless, it was very awkward and uncomfortable. It was also the last time I ever attempted to have sex in a shared space again. "
" Sooooo here I am. Freshman year, just living my best life. And as I was walking down the hallway, I heard some noises so naturally, I stopped walking to get a better idea of what it was. And as I stopped I hear this loud intense moaning. Clearly whoever it was, was having a great time, but I was so astounded that my mouth dropped and I nearly died of laughter. It was honestly to this day one of the wildest things that have happened to me living on campus. Like I mean this stuff was intense . "
" This one time, I was just minding my own business when I heard some squeaking noises above me. I ignored it because when I jumped on my bed it squeaked too, so I didn't think anything of it. I went back to doing my homework and the squeaking CONTINUED. All I could think was, “Oh my god, of course, this has to be happening right now while I’m trying to do my homework.” It started getting louder, and they also added some moaning, so I stood up on my bed and started banging on my ceiling. The noises would stop for a few seconds, then continue. So, when the noises would start again I would get back up and bang on the ceiling over and over. Towards the end of this battle, the person got on the floor and started banging on their floor so I would hear it. After this happened, it finally stopped. I went back to doing my homework perfectly fine. "
" We did not seem to get along with the boys that lived upstairs that much. They came in and stole our speaker one time when we went to go eat, and we didn't notice until we came back (we learned to lock our dorm after this incident). We were trying to figure out which one of the boys upstairs would come in and take our speaker, so we decided since it was Bluetooth that we would connect to it from my room and see if we could hear it… THE MUSIC CAME FROM RIGHT ABOVE OUR ROOM. We sprinted up there as fast as we could to go get the speaker, we busted open the door and right when we opened it our eyes were WIDE OPEN. This boy that was in our room had no idea that his roommate had come into our room and stole our speaker. We busted into his dorm room as he was masturbating. Honestly, not a good way to find your speaker. He jumped out of bed and slammed the door in our face and locked it. We never made eye contact with this kid again. "
" My freshman year, I had a group of friends that would hang out nearly every day, especially because for the most part we were all fairly new to the area. One night, I was snapping one of the boys from this group and we talked about him coming over, however, we both knew that we wanted to do more than hang. The problem was, we didn't want people in our friend group to know which would be difficult because most of our friends lived in my hall, so we came up with a bulletproof plan. He would wait underneath the window of my dorm and I would throw my keys and ID out to him. He would come upstairs and if anyone stopped him, he would just say I forgot my keys the last time we all hang out. It was a pretty great system that lasted a couple months and no one ever found out so, I would consider the plan a success. "
" A couple friends of mine and I were renting a house (not a dorm but close enough). One day, my boyfriend was over and we were “hanging out” in my room, however before I knew it, the TV in the background turned off and slow, sexy R&B started blasting. At first, I was confused, but then I could hear my roommate dying of laughter upstairs. She could hear everything and she thought she should “set the mood” for us so she connected to my ChromeCast. It was actually pretty hilarious. "
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College always promises experiences to remember but sometimes these memories aren't quite what we were hoping for. Freshman year coupled with communal bathrooms is a recipe for gross surprises and our writers got to experience them in full:
Oh gosh, I have been here for five years now and my fair share of dorm stories could probably create a small book.
My freshman year in college though, by far, exceeds almost any other year of insane stories.
In my freshman dorm, it was a wing of girls on the bottom floor and a wing of boys on the top floor. We all shared a community bathroom with six showers and five or six toilets (hard to remember after all this time ha). There was never really any problem with showers or toilets being occupied when you wanted to use them. There was, however, problems with them being destroyed or unavailable to use because people are crazy.
On several occasions, many of the toilets would have crap smeared ALL over the toilet, floor, and stall. Which one, resulted in fines; two, was foul? Who would be willing to shove their hand in poop to do that?; and three, resulted in limited bathroom usage.
One time I was taking a shower, curtain drawn and I had my towel hanging outside the shower - all clear indications I was using the shower and in it. This girl, who thankfully I never interacted with again, just walked up to the curtain and pulled it openly said something to me that I didn’t understand, stood there for a minute and then walked away. She wasn’t in a towel so I don’t think she mistakenly thought it was empty, she was fully clothed.
Another time, my freshman year, I left the lobby to get something from my room and as soon as I walked into the wing I could hear someone having sex - LOUD. And I thought to myself well okay then, ya’ll are loud as hell but as I got closer to my room it got increasingly louder. It went quiet for a bit when I got to my room and I went in - no one there - and I grabbed my stuff and then realized I had to pee. I went into the bathroom, which is right across from my room and walked in on two people having sex on the COMMUNITY bathroom floor.
My freshman year of college I lived in suite-style dorms where I shared a room with one guy and a bathroom with another room of two people. This story is just one example of the shenanigans that went on in that dorm.
One day while I was doing homework, one of my suitemates barged into my room with a bunch of his buddies. They all had huge grins on their faces like they had just gotten into something. I suspiciously looked at my suitemate and then I saw that he was holding a very large dildo in his hand. This thing was a Caucasian monstrosity. It was very thicc and was complete with testicles, veins, and even a suction cup at its base. Before I can even ask “Why?” he tells me the dildo’s whole backstory.
Apparently, the room below us had a string hanging from its drop ceiling at the start of the year. When those people pulled the string, they found a note attached that said: “Check the other room to find Richard”. The people went over to the conjoined room, lifted one of the ceiling tiles, and out plopped Richard.
My suitemate somehow knew those people and had just stolen Richard from their room. Richard really became our mascot for the year. We’d do things, like stick him to pretty much any surface in the dorm using his suction cup or put him under the pillow of whomever, was expecting a lady-friend over that night. At Christmas time I actually used sparkly pipe cleaners to make tinsel and a star to turn him into our Christmas tree. It was an interesting time, to say the least. Richard is still the centerpiece of my old suitemate’s apartment today.
Coming to college, I knew that I would experience all sorts of weird things. Though, I never expected that I would be subjected to the stereotypical the “I caught my roommate masturbating” occurrence.
My weekly schedule was always pinned to my desk, allowing my roommate to know where I’d be and when I would not be in the dorm. Except for one day, I got out of class early and returned to my dorm. I unlocked the door in a loud manner to announce I was coming in, but the headphones must have been too loud
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