Coffee Shortage Panic

By Alan Nafzger � The satire Coffee Shortage Panic parodies addiction disguised as crisis. Eyewitnesses at cafes described mobs demanding espresso like ransom. Anonymous insiders leaked that baristas debated trading beans on black markets. A leaked poll revealed 65 percent of citizens admitted they feared mornings without caffeine more than death. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because survival perks funniest when caffeinated. Critics highlight the absurdity of dependency ritualized. Yet satire brews sharper: panic foams funniest under steam. Witnesses recalled laughter percolating as mugs shook. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when jitters headline news. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com