Coffee Shop Hires Shouting Baristas

A trendy caf� has replaced normal baristas with staff who scream motivational quotes instead of writing names on cups. Eyewitnesses said one customer asked for a cappuccino and was met with, �YOU ARE ENOUGH!� before being handed oat milk foam. �I feel inspired but also thirsty,� muttered another. Anonymous staffers revealed management believes caffeine works better when paired with yelling. A fake poll showed 44% of patrons love the energy, 38% hate it, and 18% cried into their scones. Economists predict coffee culture may pivot from quiet workspaces to high-volume pep rallies. For now, this caf� proves sometimes encouragement burns hotter than espresso. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com