Clit Stories

Clit Stories

By Nicole Knepper ,
February 5, 2013 at 7:00 am

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At the Knepper house, we speak freely about any and all topics. I am well aware that this is not the case with all families and particularly some of the families of my children’s friends. That is why I always tell my children that certain conversations need to be kept private. At least until they know that their friends possess the same knowledge and comfort level in discussing this knowledge that they do. Not everybody thinks it’s okay to wax philosophical about the benefits of knowing about the magical sex organ known as the clitoris!
Image from about ten zillion sources on the inter webs
It is very A-mazing to have a clitoris. If you have one, you already know this, but if you do not have one, I’m telling you right now that in one very specific way, having a clitoris is undeniably cooler than having a penis.
So far in this blog, I have written the word clitoris three times, four if you count the one in this sentence. This is possibly more times than some people have said the word in their entire lives. If you are one of those people, I recommend you get caught up with the rest of the cool kids and start dropping the word into casual conversation when you can. It’s super fun to say! The word makes your tongue feel like it’s jumping on a trampoline! Say it – CLITORIS !
Alrighty then! So like I said before, our family is pretty open. When my son learned how babies were made, I did not talk about the male and female anatomy in any more detail than was necessary at the time. Wham-bam, thank you MOM! He was already horrified and I didn’t even use the word penetration. Wimp. So when fifth grade came around and he was receiving formal education about the boy and girl parts, complete with diagrams, I pointed out to him that there was a very important thing missing from the girl part picture – THE CLITORIS! Rhymes with Doris, I told him, and it’s ok to call it that too. Or you can simply call it a lady boner, because that’s what it is. Sometimes putting a name to a face helps you to remember the important details. Amiright? Yes, I am.
I told him that he really did need to know what the clitoris was and what it was for. I also told him why I thought it was not included in the drawings he received in health class. The students were learning the nuts and bolts (I said nuts) about genitals. Wet dreams, semen, ovaries, eggs, etc. BORING. Well, not the wet dream part, oh no, not boring at all.
However, the school left it up to the parents to fill in the blanks. I’m sure some parents plunged in (giggle) and blew the load (I can’t stop myself) right then and there, just to get it over with. I know that if my kid didn’t already know the facts, I would have. The first time is all about just getting it over with so you can say you did it (Okay, I’m stopping now). Since my kid knew the basics, I decided to build on what he knew. Clitoris? Think of it as a lady peen, I told him. The clitoris is the most important sex organ for the ladies! It gets hard just like a penis and is very sensitive. NEVER ignore the lady boner, I told him. NEVER.
He laughed. He laughed a LOT. “Mom, you are the weirdest,” he informed me.
“Yes, I know this, but you will thank me someday for making sure that you have all the information. Trust me.” I replied.
“Someday isn’t today you weirdo.” He said as he walked off.
A couple of years have passed since the day he learned about Deloris the clitoris, A.K.A. the lady boner. Now he is very comfortable talking about sex and parts and whatever is on his mind with me, and I’m afraid that before too long, he will meet a Delores. It freaks me out, but I sure hope he remembers what I told him. There are four years between my two kids, so I figured I had some time before my daughter and I would have a similar discussion about D the LB. I figured wrong. She brought it up a few nights ago.
“MOM! OH MY GOD I HAVE THIS AWESOME THING DOWN IN MY JUNK THAT IS SO AMAZING. YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!” she squealed.
I was thinking she did a be-dazzle on her va-jazzle. She loves glitter and has all these little jeweled stickers. What else could it be? She was in diapers forever and a day, so I am pretty familiar with her girl parts. I’d never noticed anything out of the ordinary back in the diaper days, but the years have a way of changing kids, right?
“Okay, so I have this little lumpy thing that I can move around and it’s so awesome. I can’t believe how it is all, like, well, SO AWESOME!” More squealing.
Yeah, I knew what she was talking about. She met D her LB. So the two of us talked a bit about safety – again – and how to keep clean and why diddling was done in private. But she was just so excited. I explained about the lady boner and why it gets hard down there and what makes it feel so….AWESOME! She decided that she preferred the term lady boner to the word clitoris. I had to agree. I also had to tell her that it would be best if she didn’t talk about it with her friends, because it was something that kids should learn from a trusted adult like a parent or a doctor, NOT other kids.
“Do boys have a clitoris?” she asked. Oh hell no! I knew where this was going. My girl is competitive as they come. I could tell she was hoping I would say no. She wanted to have something awesome that her brother didn’t’ have so she could taunt him. Maybe HE could pee standing up or in a bottle in the car on long trips, but did he have a lady boner? Nooooooo……
“Nope! Boys have a penis. They don’t have a clitoris.” I smiled as a huge grin peeled across her face. She was happy, so happy! I could just see what was going to happen next though. Soon she’d be singing about her clitoris and teasing her brother saying, “I have a clitoris and YOU don’t and it’s so awesome and you just have that stupid penis…..” or something like that. Like I said, I know my daughter. She must win! I had to burst her bubble a bit. Not completely, but just a wee bit.
I told her that a clitoris and a penis are very similar. They are both sex organs, very sensitive and both can be soft of hard, depending on how much blood is pumping to them. I hated to knock the wind out of her sails. I really did. But even though I had to take her down a notch, I was going to end on a happy note, even if the note wasn’t a musical one from a cheerful song she was singing about her newfound D the LB. I was going to give her the win, something she could sing about for the rest of her life.
“Let me tell you why lady boners are better than man boners now,” I giggled, rubbing my hands together, so very excited that I was going to give her good news. “Lady boners can be hidden. Man boners cannot and boys sometimes get pretty embarrassed when they get a big ole boner, but when we ladies get them, it’s our secret! Isn’t that awesome? Right now it doesn’t matter so much, but trust me, someday it will matter a lot and it’s a total WIN! And that is why having a clitoris is way more awesome than having a penis. See?”
“I guess so,” she managed a grin, but seemed a bit deflated. “But I’d be happy now if it was someday. And I wish I could tell all my friends about their lady boners! They would love them so much! Everyone needs to know about them! Everyone!”
Someday. But that, my friends, is the one very specific way, having a clitoris is way cooler than having a penis. Secret boners.
Image by xkcd , one of the best sites on the inter webs!
AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HARD AND THROBBING AND FANTASTIC – BUY MY BOOK ! BUY IT! BUY IT HERE !
You will get a boner reading it. Trust me. BOING! The end.
Filed under:
The Lady Boner Chronicles
Tags:
Clitoris , Lady Boner , Moms who drink and swear , talking to kids about sex

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When did you first discover your clitoris?
I was around 10 when I realized it was there and maybe 12 when I realized touching and rubbing my clit brought pleasure. I continued to rub until 19 when I read how to touch my clitoris to orgasm. Since then I enjoy rubbing my clitoris quite often.
Have any ladies gotten a close-up pic of their clitoris erect?
Can you please show me where is clitoris in vagina with pictures?
Are there any pictures of erect clits?
How do most women stimulate their clitoris?
How did you discover your clitoris? How did you react to the discovery?
Lives in Sullivan County, NY · · 3 y ·
Have any ladies gotten a close-up pic of their clitoris erect?
Can you please show me where is clitoris in vagina with pictures?
Are there any pictures of erect clits?
How do most women stimulate their clitoris?
How did you discover your clitoris? How did you react to the discovery?
How do women stimulate or rub their "clit" in public or when no one is seeing? Do they do it with clothes on in such cases?
Assuming a woman is standing, is the clitoris located in front or is it underneath?
I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?
How did you feel when you touched my clitoris for the first time?
Has anyone gotten a picture of their erect clitoris?
Are there pictures of a clit before and after it gets erect?
What does an erect clitoris feel like?
What does it feel like for a woman to rub her clitoris?
Can you feel your clitoris getting erect?
Have any ladies gotten a close-up pic of their clitoris erect?
Can you please show me where is clitoris in vagina with pictures?
Are there any pictures of erect clits?
How do most women stimulate their clitoris?
How did you discover your clitoris? How did you react to the discovery?
How do women stimulate or rub their "clit" in public or when no one is seeing? Do they do it with clothes on in such cases?
Assuming a woman is standing, is the clitoris located in front or is it underneath?
I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?
How did you feel when you touched my clitoris for the first time?
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By henjenny | 400 posts, last post 10 days ago

Dr. Judith Mairs-Levy
answered this
What To Do About A Protruding Clitoris (Clitromegaly)? And Should You Hide It?

So as a little girl I had this little thing sticking out in the front of my vulva, but it grew alot in my teens and my pubic hair was not long and dense enough to cover it so the girls in my gym class called me "weenie woman"
and I was the only girl the boys ignored. I have ever since felt like a freek.
Did finally date a guy in college and we later married. He was patient and agreed to never look or touch my vulva. I told him I had been traumatized
before and needed more time before I could let him see my private area. After we had been married 4-months we had intercourse our first time in a position which he was not able to see my vulva. It was that night that I concieved and three days later he went off into the military service and we lost him to war. I wanted to understand or correct my body before he returned so I went into studying and found my clitoris is actually just enlaged. I've read about a surgery of amputating the clitoris and I don't want that. When the news of my husbands death came I didn't care much,but 9yrs have past and I'm in love again and I wonder if I should just hide it from him too or get some medical changes or treatment done?
And is there some new way to fix my clitoris so it is smaller? Is it bad for me to get sexually aroused because it makes my clitoris get even larger?

Hey, dear! You are perfectly normal! The clitoris can be of all shapes and size. I can understand your concern and i can tell you one thing- do NOT hide from the one you love! He loves you for who you are! Would you prefer to have it surgically removed or reduced and lose all sensitivity?Don't be embarrassed by getting aroused- i have a big clitoris too and i can tell you one thing- most men love big clits! They are easier to find and it is even considered that women with bigger clitorises get more pleasure from sex. My advice is to talk to your sweetheart and tell him about your concerns. It will lift a great burden off your chest, cos it's not easy to live with a secret like this one.

In reply to henjenny on 2008-12-04 - click to read

I think you are lucky. It is the only part of a woman's body that only has one purpose - to give her pleasure. You will find a lucky guy that absolutely loves it so don't worry about it. (I am a guy)

I'm a guy who find big clitori extremely erotic. and in my experience, the larger the clitoris, the more likely that female orgasms during copulation.

such women also have the tightest p***y.

any guy who cannot come to appreciate what your big clit is doing for him is not open minded.

so drop him.

Hopefully the poster intended to say, "When the news of my husband's death came, I didn't care much about having the surgery or not, but 9 yrs have..."

Bisexual female here, so perhaps my opinion is null for the original poster; however, I think a large clit is absolutely beautiful and SEXY. Surely there are men, such as the guy who already commented, who feel the same way. Our society is too critical about "size" anyway. What is normal? Average? And what is average? Mundane? Boring? Who wants to be boring? Love yourself, girl.

I am a foster parent to a 7 year old who has an enlarged clitoris. She complains of it hurting since it rubs in her panties, dries out, and becomes irritated. The pediatrician said she needs to learn to tuck it up in and has recommended applying vaseline when needed. Are there any other tips out there for hygeine and healthcare for her precious gift? I don't want her to be self-conscious or ashamed of being a little different from the rest of us females in the family.

Reading several of these posts about being ashamed of this wonderful gift I must add my opinion.

I see no reason to be ashamed of it at all. Is there such a thing as "clit envy" among girls? We hear about penis envy. If any girls are giving you a hard time about it, how about that possibility?

Personally I would love to have a large clit to make love to (worship?). I can't even find one on my wife. Sometimes I think I can feel a grain of sand under the skin but then I think it's just wishfull thinking. It would be sooo nice if she had a large love button for me to devote my attention to.

For fostermomma I like your "precious gift" attitude, just convey that to her and she should be fine.

I don't know about the vaseline thing though. I'm thinking how that would feel on my sensitive glans. I think it would make it stick to clothing even more. I use hydrocortisone cream on most everything I have that gets irritated. That works well for me.

Thinking about "tucking it up in" under her hood, I think that's akin to me trying to make my foreskin take a position that's not normal for IT. It just ain't gonna stay there. If a guys foreskin isn't long enough to cover his glans, he can't make it do it. In my case mine covers it completely and my attempts to make it stay uncovered so I could experience what it's like to be circumcised, never worked. It just goes back to where it wants to be. So if her hood isn't long enough to cover it I don't see how tucking it up under will do much good. It may cause her a lot of stress trying to keep it that way.

YOU should be really proud of what you have. I, as a man, wished I came across someone who had a big one.
I just love em.
So PE PROUD of what you have.

I've been married almost 25 years and we are still both in good shape and sexually active. My wife began lifting weights about 3 years ago, and something about the hormones have changed her body make up. My wife's clit has grown to about the size of my pinky. I've always been very attracted to her, but this is a huge turn on. I love it when she gets aroused and it gets erect. So, don't worry about it and feel self conscious. He may have the exact opposite reaction to your large clit than you think.

Well I'm 16 nd my clit kinda big not that huge . I hate it /: icing feel normal nd makes me think after having sex he'll laugh or say something bad :/ I'm to young to have sex I know I'm still a virgin (: but my clit is the only thing stoping me from having sex with my bf

You should be proud of your clitoris. The girls that bullied you was probably just jealous.There are so MANY men who think it is very exciting with a large clitoris. Take Bebi oil on it and play with it. We men love to suck on it and play with it. The fact is that; it is a great advantage to have it like you.. Enjoy and laugh at those who are not as fortunate as you are. :-) <3

The vast vast majority of men will have one of two responses are a woman with a large clitoris. They will absolutely love it, or not care either way. Why try to change or feel down on yourself over what a very small minority of men might think?

to have a large clit that protudes is soooooooooooo hot!!!!!

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