Clit Stimulation
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Clit Stimulation
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Ro White
Ro White is a Chicago-based writer, sex educator, and Autostraddle’s Sex & Dating Editor.
Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
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The clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings—roughly double the number in a penis.
If your partner has a vulva, they might enjoy penetrative sex, but you’ll need to stimulate the clitoris to take them over the edge. A 2017 study published in the journal Sex and Marital Therapy found that only 18% of women can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. The rest either require or prefer clitoral stimulation to orgasm during intercourse.
The clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings , which is roughly double the number in a penis. In her book Come As You Are , sex researcher Emily Nagoski writes that the clitoris is the “Grand Central Station of erotic sensation.” But despite its critical role in pleasure and arousal, researchers haven’t always given the clitoris the attention it deserves. The clitoris was omitted from some early medical textbooks. We didn’t even have a 3D model of the clitoris until 2009 . Thankfully, we now know more about its structure than ever before, and you can use this knowledge to stimulate the clitoris.
The clitoris is like an iceberg—it’s larger than you think. There’s a tiny nub at the top of a vulva where the inner labia meet (that’s the glans), but the majority of the clitoris is actually underneath the skin . The full clitoris is shaped kind of like a wishbone that runs along the sides of the vulva and extends up to five inches inside the body. You may have noticed your partner’s vulva puffs up before or during sex. That’s because the clitoris is composed of erectile tissue that swells during arousal, just like the penis.
Because the clitoris is both an internal and external structure, some researchers believe that “ G-spot orgasms ” don’t exist —they’re actually internal clitoral orgasms. For this piece, however, we’re going to focus on the parts of the clitoris that you can access externally.
Even though the clitoris is a highly erogenous zone , it’s not a magic button. You can’t just poke it and expect your partner to moan in ecstasy. For the best clitoral stimulation, you need to stay consistent and pay attention to your partner’s feedback.
Before you try something new, you should ask your partner to tell you or show you what they like. But in the event they’re not sure exactly what feels great (or they’re in the mood to explore), here are some tips from sex experts about how to go about stimulating the clitoris.
The most sensitive part of the clitoris is located where the labia meet, but it can be hard to find the right spot, especially if you’re in low lighting. “The easiest way to find the clit by touch is by asking your partner to place your fingers on it—there’s no shame in that,” explains Allison Moon, sex educator and author of Girl Sex 101 . “Some clits are more prominent than others. It’s better to ask than to diddle a part that definitely isn’t it.”
If you’re not sure where to start, cup your partner’s vulva and let them control the movement and pressure. “Create a firm base with your palm that your partner can hump or grind against,” Moon says. “Ask them to move their hips against your hand to demonstrate the kind of motion that feels good to them.”
While some people love direct clitoral stimulation on the glans, others might find it’s too intense. If your partner has a particularly sensitive clitoris, Moon recommends stimulating the area around the glans by stroking the clitoral hood or either side of the clitoral shaft.
“Imagine the clit has a clock on it, where the top point, closest to their bellybutton, is twelve, and the spot closest to their vaginal opening is six,” says sex-hacker and sexpert Kenneth Play . “ Move along their clit around the clock with a finger or sex toy , starting from twelve and going in a circle slowly, asking them to let you know which spot feels the best.”
Once you find the right location, try different ways of touching it, Play explains. “The things you can vary are pressure, friction, speed, and angle,” he says. You can tell them to make a noise, squeeze your hand, or say something when it feels particularly good.
As the adage goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” The most common frustrating thing men do is change things up too much, says Play. Once you find what works, keep doing it. “You don’t need a million different tricks, you just need to find the thing they like, and consistently repeat it,” he says. “Let it build up enough to spill over.”
“Put your fingers in a peace sign and with lots of lube , slide them up and down on the inside of their outer lips, around the inner lips,” explains Anne Louise Burdett, a certified Sex Educator and CEO of TOCA , an organic CBD line of intimacy lubricants. “Here you are stimulating the extended internal structure of the clitoris. This is erectile tissue that becomes highly sensitive when engorged, making the area hotter, filled with blood and pulsing.” Make sure that you use plenty of lube; this does not feel pleasurable without it.
“Slide or bring the heel of your hand to the hood of their clitoris,” Burdett says. Have your partner breathe and ask them if they want more or less pressure. “You may want to repeat this, pulse, or slide.” You can also apply pressure with other things besides your hands, including sex toys .
“Spread your fingers and lay them flat over your partner’s outer labia, and then alternate pressure between your fingers,” Burdett says. As always, explore pressure and rhythm, and ask your partner what feels best. “Here you are stimulating the clitoral bulbs under the outer labia, which is an essential way to signal to the body to produce lubrication and fill the area with blood to increase pleasure and sensitivity vastly.”
The future of sex is here, and there are hundreds if not thousands of toys created to stimulate the clitoris directly. There’s even been a surge in clitoral suction devices (a.k.a. clit suckers) that provide a unique stimulation that your hands simply can’t—no matter how hard you may try. Here are some to try.
Swap deep penetration for deep clitoral pleasure. In the CAT sex position, the insertive partner holds themselves over the receptive partner—like in missionary—but they shift their body forward so their penis or dildo is pointing down. That way, as the insertive partner moves their shaft toward their partner's vagina, it rubs against the clitoris on the way there.
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What exactly is the clitoris and how do I find it?
If you’re like us, you’ve experienced the stigma around talking and learning about sex and admitting your curiosity. In these articles, we hope to add excitement and enjoyment in your life, by answering the sexual health questions you're too afraid to ask. Have additional questions? Contact our friendly "sexperts".
Only one organ has come to exist for the sole purpose of providing pleasure—the clitoris.
The clitoris is not shaped like a penis, but it is similar to the male anatomy because it has a head (glans), a clitoral hood (similar to the foreskin) and even a shaft. Moreover, it becomes erect when it’s aroused. The clitoris contains approximately 8,000 sensory nerve fibers; more than anywhere else in the human body and nearly twice the amount found on the head of a penis.
In order to find the clitoris you will want to move toward the top of the labia (the outer and inner folds of skin) but stay below the mons pubis (or pubic bone). By gently spreading the labia minora (inner lips) at the top where they come together, you will find a nodule. This is the head of the clitoris! As a women becomes more aroused the clitoris can retract under the clitoral hood and be harder to see…but it’s still there.
Because of the dense nerve endings in the clitoris, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. Direct clitoral touching can actually be too much stimulation for some people so you may need to focus stimulation on the general area rather than directly on the exposed clitoral head. Always use a drop of lubricant on the clitoris to reduce friction and help provide a cushion of pleasure. You can use fingers, a tongue, vibrators, suction, or lots of other various ways to stimulate the clitoris. In general, use less direct pressure and more quick gliding movements across or around the head of the clitoris to stimulate.
A vaginal orgasm is the idea that an orgasm can occur solely through vaginal penetration. A clitoral orgasm is the idea that an orgasm can occur solely through clitoral stimulation. Although these types of orgasm can happen separately, it’s likely that nerve endings from the vagina and clitoris are interacting because of their close proximity. The clitoris is more than just a button. Underneath the shape seen in a vulva diagram, the clitoris has a shape of a wishbone, with two legs that extend 3 inches into the vagina, which connects to the G-spot. However, Clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasm can have different sensations due to the nerves being stimulated. Rather than thinking of the clitoris and vagina as two separate things, it can be helpful to think of them as a network of pleasure nerve endings and muscles.
This is actually very normal! Most women need some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. The clitoris typically doesn’t see much action during vaginal intercourse unless you are actively and purposefully stimulating the clitoris throughout sex. Expecting a woman to orgasm without clitoral stimulation is like expecting a man to orgasm without stimulation to the penis because they are homologous organs (similar in form and function). It’s definitely possible, but it’s more likely to happen if the organ is stimulated. Overall, orgasms are very individualistic experiences and there is no one correct way to experience or have an orgasm.
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Clitoris or clit of a woman has confused many men even the experienced ones. This is tiny structure located just above her vaginal opening over inner labia. The clit of woman is like penis to man. This tiny structure has many nerve endings and gets engorged when woman is excited. The best clitoral stimulation techniques can make intensity and pleasure of climax many times higher and bring a woman to screaming climaxes . Here are few positions and techniques on how to give clitoral orgasm to a woman.
During lovemaking woman has two types of stimulations vaginal and clitoral. Majority of woman prefer clitoral stimulation over the other one. But still take care before you begin with clitoral stimulation as some woman may not like being stimulated there. If you are making love to a woman for the first time check by touching her clit and see her response. If she likes it you have a go. You can stimulate clit of a woman by touching it with fingers. It is sensitive and delicate part, so do not apply excess pressure, or do it in a hurry. Give sensuous touches first and increase pressure by a bit when she is excited. You can also play it with your tongue. Touch it with hard tongue or beat with it, but stay gentle and light. Fingers and mouth are good techniques about how to give clitoral orgasm to a woman.
These are not all and we are not stopping after these techniques only. The best clitoral stimulation techniques are the ones which you can employ when actual lovemaking begins after penetration. Here is one which can bring immense pleasure to your girl and make her ecstatic. Lie down on your back and let the girl straddle you. Let her get over with penetration and rest her buttocks over your groin and knees on either of your waist. Now take your hand towards your organ and place it there forming a Vulcan V with two fingers. Keep your index and middle finger over one side of your organ and other two on other side. Raise you knuckles a bit. Your hand will be in perfect position where knuckles are going to rub your girl’s clitoris when she will go up and down over your organ. You can notice the difference in her excitement instantly and will see much intense climax.
In missionary pose you can grind clit of your woman and give her mind-blowing climaxes. Penetrate her in missionary pose but do not let her surround you with her legs. Keep her legs bent on either side of your waist with heels planted on bed. Now lean forward bending your back a bit and touch upper part of her genital passage with your pubic bone. You can make forward and backward movements and even in left and right direction to press her clit with your pubic bone. Do not worry about your organ being static in her passage just maintain it as deep as possible and clit stimulation alone will take her to much greater heights of ecstasy. You can also make circular movements to grind her clit gently with your pubic bone. This is one of the best clitoral stimulation techniques which can bring woman to earth-shattering climaxes.
You can take also perform clit stimulation by taking your woman on top. Here is another technique of how to give clitoral orgasm to a woman . Lie down on your back and let her come in cow girl position. Keep her bent knees on either side of your waist and get up a bit. Keep your low abdominal region straight so that your pubic bone touches her vital part above genital passage. This will grind the clitoris when she will move up and down or forward and backwards to give intense pleasure. Cow girl pose is exciting for a woman and allows man to stay for longer duration in bed. With stimulation in this position the passion of lovemaking gets multiplied and gives maximum satisfaction to woman.
Sliding lady is another position for clitoral stimulation which is a variation of cow girl pose. Let your girls come in cow girl pose and get penetrated. Now bring her head close to your chest and spread her legs further apart so that her vaginal region rests on your pubic bone. Keep your hands over her low waist to keep her closer and make movement in upward and downward direction. The movement of your pubic bone will brush her clit to bring her to screaming climaxes. You can also train her to move her buttock in tandem with your movements to increase the intensity of brushing. All of these are excellent techniques for clitoral stimulations which intensify pleasure of lovemaking and provide maximum satisfaction. These position are slow sex positions too so prolong the duration of act to make them even more pleasing and gratifying.
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For as long as science has been aware of the clitoris, it has been the subject of much scrutiny, confusion, and dismissal.
The Greeks seemed to get the hype, as the word for the female organ comes from the Greek kleitoris , which has been translated as both "little hill" and "to rub." But that doesn't even begin to cover the treasure trove of nerves, blood vessels, and, in turn, the potential mind-blowing pleasure that it offers — right at our fingertips.
And that pleasure part is key. Casey Tanner , certified sex therapist and an expert for sex toy company LELO , explains that the clitoris is the only genital organ that functions solely for sexual satisfaction as opposed to reproduction. "The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in the tip alone," she notes. "That's twice as many as the penis, and yet the clitoris often gets only half of the attention, if that."
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