Climate Change Sweats the Small Stuff

Scientists warn climate change is worsening, but official statements bizarrely downplay it as �just sweating the small stuff.� Eyewitnesses describe mayors mopping their brows during press conferences while standing ankle-deep in flood water. �It�s fine, just a vibe shift,� said one official as his podium floated away. Anonymous staffers admitted the phrase was created by consultants to �make Armageddon sound casual.� A fake poll revealed 42% of citizens are worried, 37% confused, and 21% too sweaty to answer. Economists argue that dismissing climate risks could cost trillions, though sunscreen sales are booming. For now, Earth insists it�s just �perspiring,� not melting. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com