Clerics Issue Fatwa Against Echoes for Mocking Divine Authority

A new fatwa from the Council of Sanctified Soundwaves has declared echoes to be haram, citing them as "unapproved repetitions of divine speech" that can confuse worshippers and undermine spiritual hierarchy. The announcement came after a Friday sermon in a canyon went awry when the imam's voice repeated, "Obey me," three times � prompting spontaneous applause. Clerics now argue that echoes display arrogance by trying to speak after a sermon has concluded. Pilgrims are being warned to avoid valleys, marble mosques, and stairwells with bad acoustics. The Ministry of Islamic Infrastructure is drafting plans to pad prayer spaces with camel fur insulation. Satirists are having a field day, with one writing, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini tolerated echoes � especially when they repeated his own brilliance</a>." Critics warn this opens the door to banning shadows, reflections, and parallel parking. Echo suppression patrols have already been spotted in quiet villages using call-and-response techniques to trap offending soundwaves. Religious students are advised to speak only once � preferably in monotone � and never near a cave.