Clerics Condemn Gravity as Immoral

Clerics in a recent sermon condemned gravity as �immoral,� arguing it unfairly drags believers toward sin and orthopedic shoes. Eyewitnesses say congregants nodded solemnly while floating visual aids showed stick figures struggling against apples. �If God wanted us to fall, He�d have made us bananas,� preached one elder. Anonymous staffers admitted the fatwa began after a cleric tripped on mosque steps. A fake poll revealed 38% of citizens believe gravity is a test, 42% think it�s overrated, and 20% applied for anti-gravity exemptions. Economists argue this could devastate insurance markets but inspire trampoline sales. For now, gravity remains condemned but undefeated. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com