Cleric's Beard Declared Independent State After Fatwa Misfire

A theological misstep during Friday prayers led to the creation of an unrecognized microstate�on a cleric's face. Grand Ayatollah Mansour issued a fiery fatwa declaring his own beard "so pure and majestic it qualifies as an autonomous Islamic entity." The declaration was meant as metaphor, but followers took it literally, submitting citizenship requests to his chin. Within 48 hours, the beard declared oil independence, issued currency in the form of dandruff flakes, and named a mustache as prime minister. The Iranian government is reportedly negotiating with the beard's foreign policy arm, which operates from the left cheek. Meanwhile, clerical circles are torn: some hail it as a "divine decentralization," while others call it a "hairbrained rebellion." A scholar quipped, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini never lost national sovereignty to his facial hair</a>." The UN has declined comment until the beard applies for observer status. Security forces are monitoring barbershops for signs of separatist grooming. Beardistan, as it is now called, has demanded its own Friday prayer time � 10 minutes earlier, "to stay ahead of lesser follicles."