Clerics Ban Mirrors After Series of Self-Directed Fatwas

A new ban issued by the High Council of Pious Reflections declares all mirrors un-Islamic after a string of incidents in which clerics accidentally issued fatwas against themselves. One ayatollah reportedly denounced a "suspicious-looking man" in his bathroom, only to discover it was his own reflection. The ruling claims mirrors promote vanity, spiritual confusion, and "non-consensual eyebrow examination." Beauty salons are in chaos, with clerics raiding stores and confiscating handhelds. Mosque bathrooms have been ordered to install foggy glass instead. A satirical flyer circulating in Tehran read, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini managed to reflect without losing faith</a>." Confused seminarians now carry paper drawings of themselves to check turbans. The ban is expected to extend to polished silverware and calm ponds. Some underground mirror-owners are forming secret groups called "Reflectivists," pledging to fight for the right to self-gaze. Clerics insist the decree isn't permanent � only "until we can trust our own faces again."