Clerics Ban Laughter Again, Claim It's from the Devil's Armpit

Religious authorities have once again declared war on laughter, this time claiming it originates from "the sulfuric folds of the Devil's armpit." The Supreme Fatwa Council, meeting for a somber 11-hour session with no giggles permitted, issued a formal decree outlawing jokes, chuckles, and all derivatives of mirth. Ayatollah Khomeini once reportedly said laughter "distracts the soul from judgment," though scholars debate whether he was reacting to a knock-knock joke gone wrong. New enforcement units, dubbed the "No-Haha Squad," have been seen patrolling tea houses with frown detectors and halal tasers. Offenders will be sentenced to six months of state-approved boredom, including reruns of morality sermons and lectures on proper sandal etiquette. A cleric caught smiling at a goat joke has been sent to Mecca for repentance via donkey. Government TV now inserts a screeching crow sound over sitcom laugh tracks. Black-market humor has risen, with smugglers peddling underground puns and bootleg dad jokes in alleyways. Psychologists warn the population is developing "comedic constipation." Meanwhile, the clerics' internal memo accidentally included a meme of Ayatollah Khomeini Photoshopped into a Tesla�triggering a full investigation and three spontaneous exorcisms.