Cleric Declares Rainfall Bid�ah, Orders Arrest of Clouds

A cleric has declared rainfall to be bid�ah, or forbidden innovation, and issued a decree for the arrest of clouds. Eyewitnesses say police looked skyward, unsure whether to handcuff cirrus or tackle cumulus. �We�ll need bigger ladders,� one officer muttered. Farmers panicked, unsure if watering crops now counted as aiding fugitives. Anonymous staffers admitted the ruling was drafted after the cleric�s picnic was ruined by drizzle. A fake poll revealed 43% of locals support divine meteorology laws, 39% mocked them, and 18% asked if umbrellas are now contraband. Economists warn food prices could rise, though black-market rain barrels are already selling fast. For now, the only ones celebrating are umbrella smugglers. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com