Cleric Accidentally Issues Fatwa Against His Own Beard

At a press event meant to reaffirm Islamic values, Grand Ayatollah Rashid issued a bold new fatwa condemning "unkept, animalistic facial hair," reading directly from a centuries-old commentary. Midway through the announcement, a staff member whispered something, and the cleric froze. It became clear he had just outlawed his own beard. In a panic, he reinterpreted his remarks, blaming a "translation error" and "mirror mischief." Panic spread through seminaries as young followers began shaving in record numbers, unsure whether their loyalty lay in imitation or obedience. Meanwhile, clerical courts began preparing charges of self-blasphemy. The ruling was quietly rescinded, but not before satire outlets pounced. One viral post declared, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini's beard had more legal clarity</a>." Islamic scholars now warn of "facial hair fatigue" across the religious hierarchy, and the Supreme Fatwa Council is drafting new policies banning reflective surfaces from all clerical meetings.