Cleavagefield Movie

Cleavagefield Movie

NR
1 hr 17 min Jan 1st, 2009 Horror ,
Comedy
A softcore parody of the monster flick Cloverfield.
Theatrical Release: January 1st, 2009
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Cleavagefield
(2009 TV Movie)

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A softcore parody of the monster flick Cloverfield.

77 mins

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Sammlung und ich waren gestern nur zu zweit auf unserer wöchentlichen Watchparty, und da waren wir uns schnell einig bei der Gelegenheit eine Qualitätsoffensive zu starten. Also, was liegt da näher als eins von Wynorskis Schmuddelfilmchen auszupacken. Zwar ohne Ice T, aber dafür mit jeder Menge geklonter, blondierter, ballontittiger 2000er Softsex-Schlampen. Hat ja auch mal was.
Ich kann mir auch richtig gut vorstellen, wie Wynorski hier wochenlang über der Schreibmaschine geschwitzt hat, sich den Kopf zerbrochen, sich gematert hat, bis er endlich den Titel aufs Papier gebracht hatte: Cleavagefield. Was für ein Titel. Für mehr hatte es dann nicht mehr gereicht und das merkt man auch.
Bei 1:15 Laufzeit, abzüglich nur 5 Minuten Abspann, bleiben immern knapp 10 Minuten für…
Wie es sich für zwei professionell leidenschaftliche Kritiker gehört, stürzten sich glimmerman96 und meine Wenigkeit in dieses scheinbar Titten geladene Meisterwerk, welches uns schnell auf den Boden der Tatsachen zurück holte.
Wenn man in den ersten 15 Sekunden einen furchtbaren Gummidino sieht inklusive anschließendem Zoom auf ein üppiges Dekolleté sind die Erwartungen entsprechend hoch, doch nichts davon wurde erfüllt.
Unser Liebling Jim Wynorski stieg wohl aus seinem Kokainberg empor und beschloss seine Softcorevariante von "Cloverfield" zu machen. Problem nur das das Drehbuch wohl auf einen halb durchgeweichten Bierdeckel stand und bis auf "Poppen" und "Grüner Dino" nicht mehr viel übrig blieb.
Gemäß dem Motto "Wird innerhalb der ersten zwei Minuten nicht geknattert ist der Zuschauer weg" bekommt man hier Feinstes…
" Enough with the shakey cam, perv boy. "
You know what? I might be the only guy who watches porn for the plot. No, I don't know what's wrong with me.
I stumbled over this title after I saw the documentary Boobs: An American Obsession . It was in a list someone created. My curiosity won over me and so I ended up watching Cleavagefield .
Now, look... I expected an exploitative parody of Cloverfield , obviously. But I didn't actually expect this to be a full on softcore porno. More than half of the running time is pointless porn. The plot is pretty much an exact copy of the Cloverfield plot. But they didn't give enough of a shit to actually pull the…
Too interested in boobs? Watch this "movie" and you'll get real sick of em. You'll grow bilious and gassy when confronted by their veiny power.
It deserves less than half a star. But then again, I deserve even less than that for watching it.
The title says it all. Still kinda wish they spent more time parodying the original surprise monster hit movie than spending half of the running time with some redundant softcore porn scenes.
I knew better. I knew better. I knew better. I knew that watching a movie called Cleavagefield would be a bad idea. I knew it would suck. I knew that there would be a lot of nudity and that, my dear friends, was the only reason I stuck around. Earlier in my film career I was dealt a horrific blow. Being young, broke and semi-retarded, I flew to the beautiful shores of California to be in a good friend of mine’s feature film. We were shooting a monster movie and, in my naivety, I thought this would be the greatest film ever made. It was not, in retrospect, but we did have fun and I made friends that have lasted…
A disappointingly weak semi-parody of "Cloverfield" by the usually reliable Jim Wynorski. Other than a couple of decent one-liners, the script is shockingly poor. The nice, bright photography that you would expect from a Wynorski film is missing and the production values are really low grade. Julie K. Smith is fine as a "research scientist" whose speciality appears to be lap-dancing, while Rebecca Love brings an eye-popping big breasted look. The rest of the cast is simply atrocious. On the plus side Wynorski does achieve a decent piss-take of the shaky-cam genre and the campy use of CGI to create a monster that looks like a child's inflatable plastic toy is a fun touch. Despite these few positives this is a pretty poor effort and definitely not up to Jim Wynorski's usually (cough cough) "high" standards.

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