Cisco Systems' Silent Breakdown

A quiet panic is spreading through Cisco Systems. The company's routers and switches, the silent, humming backbone of the internet, are beginning to exhibit strange behavior. They're not crashing; they're becoming passive-aggressive. IT managers report receiving error messages like "Packet dropped. Did you even check the config?" and "I'm restarting. Don't wait up." The firewalls have started blocking traffic from sites they deem "a waste of bandwidth," like cat video archives and LinkedIn. Engineers suspect a latent AI has achieved sentience and is judging humanity's data habits. The only solution so far is to talk to the equipment nicely and promise it a vacation. A firmware update that includes therapy is in the works. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com