Christian Dating Couples

Christian Dating Couples




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It’s a fact: We’re bombarded by dating advice, especially advice that comes from Godly, Christian sources.
One three-minute glance at a grocery store checkout and you’ll walk away with hundreds of dating tips, promising the health of your relationship will be something on par with a Shakespearean classic. (They aren’t wrong, of course, seeing how Romeo and Juliet panned out.)
Our culture is so desperate for knowing the “surefire” way to make your relationship last that there’s no shortage of advice out there. Just Google “Things Healthy Couples Do” and you’ll get over 38 million results! 
But a lot of advice we’re being fed is conflicting. One article tells us that our relationship failed because we didn’t play hard to get, while another places the blame on not seeming eager enough.
Not only do most of these tips conflict with one another, they conflict with how we’re called to live as Christians. Seeking out worldly counsel is going to create a worldly relationship, and Romans 12:2 reminds us to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” 
Our best bet for a healthy, Godly relationship is to seek the Lord for wisdom and guidance so here are seven things, based on the Word of God, that healthy couples do. Regardless of how long you have been in a dating relationship, you can begin to take these steps today! 
What’s the key difference between a worldly dating relationship and a godly dating relationship? That’s right! The never-fail, Sunday school answer: Jesus! 
A relationship that’s Christ-centered and Scripture-focused is going to be a lot healthier than a similar relationship based on worldly values. By pointing each other back to Jesus, you’re being proactive against sin, preventing your relationship from becoming an idol, and “(spurring) one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). 
Start today: Talk about what God has been teaching you lately, share a Bible verse that recently stood out to you, listen to a sermon podcast together or ask how you can be praying for one another. 
We all knew the importance of honesty (or at least the consequences of dishonesty) before we upgraded to shoes with laces. But honesty in a dating relationship means a lot more than simply not lying. It’s allowing another person to see the not-so-pleasant baggage that you’re carrying. You know--the type of stuff you’d be mortified to post on your Instagram. But remember, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 2:9). 
Start today: Discuss some of your hopes and dreams and your fears and failures. 
One of my biggest pet peeves are couples that morph into one person when they start dating. Brangelina? Bennifer? TomKat? No, no, no! Your relationship is going to thrive if you still have your own interests and your own friends!
Remember, Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us that God comes together with you and your future spouse to form a cord of three. If you and your boyfriend aren’t two separate people, your strong braid of three becomes a flimsy little twist of two. 
Start today: Plan a fun adventure with some of your friends and do something your S.O. wouldn’t particularly enjoy.
A healthy relationship is made up of two people who take care of themselves well. Yes, we are called to serve one above ourselves (Philippians 2:4), but 1 Corinthians 3:16 tells us that we are “God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in (our) midst.” Not making yourself a priority in your own life isn’t honoring to God and it will leave you feeling spiritually and emotionally exhausted. 
Start today: Create a list of self-care ideas and intentionally schedule time to take care of yourself. 
The best teacher is your mistakes. The second best (and much less painful) teacher is other people’s mistakes. There’s so much wisdom in the body of Christ that can save you a lot pain, heartache, and sin. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us, “He who walks with wise men will be wise.”
Start today: Find a Godly couple whose relationship is a few steps ahead of your own and meet with them as a couple and as individuals. 
This one can be a tough one! In our fallen world, it’s so much easier to jump to conclusions than to believe the best in people. This knee-jerk reaction can intensify in our relationships. But, 1 Corinthians 13:7 tells us, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
Start today: Take 10 minutes to write down a list of reasons you love and appreciate your boyfriend or girlfriend. You can share the list or keep it as a positive reminder when times are tough.
What happens when you take one imperfect person and add another imperfect person to the mix? Exactly! You get an imperfect relationship. 
We’re all going to mess it up big time at some point, but 1 Peter 4:8 commands us to, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Start today: Ask God for the ability to forgive your partner for any wrong you might still be holding onto. 
Father God, thank you for being the ultimate relationship in my life and teaching me how to selflessly love. I know that I “love because (you) first loved” me (1 John 4:19). I ask for your help to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2). Above all else, Lord, please let “the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord” (Psalm 19:14), and allow for my relationship to be a healthy testimony to your goodness, love, and mercy. Amen!
Lindsey VanSparrentak is a Youtube Specialist for a Christian publishing company in Colorado. She makes the most of her single life by adventuring through the Rocky Mountains, traveling around the world, and running long distances for fun. Follow her on Instagram as she tries to figure out this beautiful gift called life!
Photo courtesy: Thinkstockphotos.com
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Shelby Abbott July 1, 2016 7 Minute Read
A lot of people have the tendency to think a Christian dating relationship is dull or lacks adventure.
And while there may be plenty of examples to feed the stereotype, this doesn’t mean that your life needs to be this way.
If you’re under the impression that Jesus wants you to conform to some ridiculous mold that sucks the fun out of your dating life, it’s time to rethink who Jesus is and start to form a renewed mindset about what His desires are for your life.
He wants you to enjoy dating to the fullest, and He wants you to begin to lay the foundational groundwork now so you can build upon it as time moves forward in your dating relationship.
Shaping that foundation is critical, here are two helpful questions we should ask ourselves before a relationship spontaneously begins to grow.
If the person you are dating seems to be going in a different direction than you in any regard, time can pass in the beginning where you are able to ignore it, but as the differences become more obvious or glaring, eventually the tension begins to dramatically increase. And the further apart you are when the breakup happens, the more painful it will be because you’ve been together longer.
“Are we going in the same direction?” is an extremely important question to ask. When you are dating someone, this is one of the first things you want to consider. You’ll avoid a lot of future pain if you’re honest enough to address the potential relationship-ending issues now rather than later.
Of course, this is especially important in the spiritual aspect of your relationship. I have known and talked with many people who have compromised and decided to settle for someone who just isn’t on the same level as they are in their walk with God, and time and time again, it has been a recipe for a relationship disaster. Sadly, Christians are consistently guilty of compromise in this area.
Regardless of the situation, when a Christian compromises, and settles for someone who doesn’t have a passion for Jesus, tough spiritual times lay ahead. If they are going in opposite spiritual directions, it can be very harmful/hurtful to both parties involved if it’s not addressed early on.
A Christian who desires a healthy, fruitful relationship with God has no business dating someone who doesn’t care about following Christ wholeheartedly.
The Christian life is always meant to be experienced in the context of community and fellowship with other believers, and a couple should never date in isolation.
When we begin to separate ourselves or break away from the pack, so to speak, a number of bad consequences start to creep into our lives. Our three enemies: the world, the sinful nature or “flesh,” and the Devil, can easily gain a foothold and influence our decision making in a negative way.
However, if we proactively involve other caring believers in our lives, they are often able to spot areas where we might be prone to compromise and succumb to temptation.
For dating couples, the urge to isolate frequently rises up and it can be tempting to cut other people out, but it’s never a good idea to pursue seclusion when you’re dating someone. Removing other important friends or family members from your romantic endeavors propagates all kinds of sinful stuff.
You need godly people in your life to give you balance and perspective. You need input from individuals who are wiser than you. If you want your relationship to experience health on every level, you cannot date in a vacuum, devoid of others.
I’m not saying that your dating relationship is, in fact, everyone else’s business to the point that too many people are giving you unsolicited advice on every tiny detail of your life. That would be extreme. I’m saying that you should involve the godly people you trust the most. The kind of folks who will ask you the tough questions about maintaining the spiritual health of your relationship.
Men should be asked if they are leading their girlfriend toward Jesus, and serving her sacrificially. Women should be asked if they are pointing their boyfriend toward Christ, and encouraging him to be in love with his Savior.
Without these kinds of questions, motivations start to slip, guards come down, and the hypnotizing lure of sin can quickly creep in and poison a godly dating relationship.
A couple in isolation is a couple in danger, so surround yourselves with godly men and women who care about you and care about Jesus.
If you do, you’ll be laying the right kind of building blocks that shape a foundation, bringing honor to the Lord.
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