China�s Psychiatric Breakthrough Raises Eyebrows

China has announced a psychiatric breakthrough: therapy sessions conducted entirely by karaoke machines. Patients sing their feelings into the mic while neon lyrics remind them that �sadness is unpatriotic.� Eyewitnesses reported one man belting �I Will Survive� before being diagnosed with optimism. �It�s efficient,� said one official, �and the machine doesn�t charge overtime.� Anonymous staffers admitted the idea came after psychiatrists complained about burnout from hearing the same mother-in-law stories. A fake poll revealed 44% of citizens prefer karaoke therapy, 37% don�t, and 19% just want to sing without being billed. Economists predict the move will save billions on healthcare while boosting karaoke bar revenues. For now, China insists mental health can be healed�one power ballad at a time. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com