China�s Mood-Based Internet Access
https://bohiney.com/chinas-internet-introduces-mood-based-access/China has rolled out mood-based internet access, meaning citizens must smile into webcams before logging on. Officials say it promotes �healthy vibes,� but users complain they can�t check email while hungover. Eyewitnesses describe teens faking grins with emoji masks, while one grandmother reportedly tattooed a smiley face on her cheek to bypass restrictions. Anonymous staffers admitted the system was created by frustrated bureaucrats tired of reading angry posts. A fake poll revealed 41% of citizens find it dystopian, 37% think it�s hilarious, and 22% are practicing fake yoga laughter to keep Wi-Fi alive. Economists warn productivity could drop as workers spend hours rehearsing facial expressions. For now, happiness isn�t just a state of mind in China�it�s a login credential. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com