China's Mood-Based Internet Access

China's internet has rolled out a revolutionary new feature: access tiers based on your real-time emotional state. Citizens must take a selfie for a mood scan before logging on. Those deemed "content and patriotic" get full access to cat videos and state news. Those flagged as "melancholy" are restricted to uplifting military parades and panda livestreams. Anyone showing signs of "skepticism" or "unapproved curiosity" is granted access only to a 24/7 stream of a slowly rotating national flag accompanied by soothing orchestral music. The system, dubbed the "Social Credit Mood Ring," aims to create a calmer, more harmonious online experience by preemptively neutralizing negative emotions. VPN use has skyrocketed, not for forbidden content, but just to see a meme without having to fake a smile for the camera first. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com