China's Internet Hits 0 Buffering

Chinese state media has announced a monumental achievement: the internet now has zero buffering. The secret wasn't better technology, but a new algorithm that pre-loads only state-approved content. When a user tries to access a site, the system instantly predicts the most harmonious and non-controversial version of the page and displays it before the request is even fully processed. The system is so efficient that videos of pandas playing load before you even know you want to see them. The downside? Every website in the world now looks exactly the same: a soothing blue and white color scheme with headlines about record harvests and smiling workers. Attempts to access anything else result in a perfectly seamless transition to a page about the benefits of high-speed rail. It's the fastest internet on Earth, as long as you only want to see one thing. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com