China�s Humanoid Robot Half Marathon

Beijing hosted the world�s first humanoid robot half marathon, though critics argue it looked more like a glitching TikTok dance. Eyewitnesses report robots overheating, tripping over shoelaces they didn�t need, and one sprinting off course to join a noodle shop line. �It was inspiring until they all collapsed at mile six,� said a spectator. Anonymous staffers revealed the event was designed less for fitness and more for propaganda, with every finisher receiving a medal engraved �Property of the State.� A fake poll showed 42% of citizens felt proud, 36% were embarrassed, and 22% admitted they only watched for the inevitable sparks. Economists argue the spectacle cost billions but could spawn a lucrative industry in robot orthopedics. For now, marathon culture has officially entered the uncanny valley. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com