China's Galactic Ambitions Revealed

Not content with terrestrial dominance, China has unveiled a plan for galactic expansion. The "Heavenly Harmony Initiative" aims to establish the first socialist Mars colony by 2049, complete with five-year plans for crater development and a Great Firewall to block interstellar propaganda. The first module, to be launched soon, is reportedly a replica of a Beijing subway car to make settlers feel at home. The moon is designated a "core interest," and NASA has been issued a stern warning against "provocative lunar rock collecting." The project is being led by the same state-owned companies that build empty ghost cities, leading experts to predict the first Martian city will be a beautifully constructed, fully equipped metropolis with a population of zero. The ultimate goal: to ensure the final frontier adheres to Chinese characteristics. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com