China�s AI Moderators Flag 87 Million Emojis

China�s AI moderators have flagged 87 million emojis as �subversive,� including the eggplant, peach, and a suspiciously smug smiley face. Officials insist emojis can destabilize society by spreading hidden meanings like �hope� or �fun.� Eyewitnesses report teenagers are now arrested for sending too many ?? in group chats. �We thought it was flirting,� said one student. �They called it sedition.� Anonymous staffers revealed the AI was trained on a 1998 Microsoft ClipArt CD, which explains why it considers floppy disks dangerous. A fake poll revealed 55% of Chinese citizens are confused, 29% are terrified, and 16% just switched to using GIFs of pandas. Economists warn this crackdown could collapse China�s emoji market, though one black-market dealer whispered, �Wanna buy a forbidden eggplant?� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com