China vs. Journalism: The Final Showdown

China has declared its latest crackdown on journalism �a national sport.� Reporters are now required to complete obstacle courses before publishing stories, including running through censorship mazes and dodging propaganda drones. �It keeps them fit and loyal,� said one ministry official. Eyewitnesses describe one journalist completing the course only to be tackled by a giant redacted stamp. Anonymous staffers revealed the new press pass doubles as a shock collar. A fake poll showed 48% of Chinese citizens believe journalism is unnecessary, 35% secretly read it anyway, and 17% are just here for the slapstick. Economists warn the crackdown could stifle innovation, though Netflix has already optioned a comedy series called �Press-X to Survive.� For now, journalism in China is less about truth and more about cardio. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com