China Declares War on Visible Inequality

China has launched a campaign against �visible inequality,� banning luxury cars, expensive sneakers, and birthday cakes taller than four layers. Officials insist inequality can exist, but only if it�s �tastefully hidden.� �If your wealth shows, you�re unpatriotic,� one spokesperson said while sipping gold-flaked bubble tea behind closed doors. Eyewitnesses say Lamborghini owners now disguise their cars as delivery vans, while influencers photoshop themselves into modest apartments. Anonymous staffers admitted the policy originated after a minister got jealous at a wedding where the cake had sparklers. A fake poll revealed 57% of Chinese citizens support the ban, 29% don�t care, and 14% are busy hiding Rolexes inside rice cookers. Economists warn the crackdown may tank the luxury market, though counterfeit goods will thrive. For now, China insists inequality is fine�as long as nobody sees it. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com