Child Sex Taboo

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By Helen Clifton & Melanie Abbott BBC File on 4
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Victims of female child sexual abusers face "enormous stigma and shame", according to police and charities.
Figures from BBC Radio 4's File on 4 show there were over 10,400 reports of this type of abuse from 2015 to 2019 - equivalent to an average of 40 a week.
Experts say there is still a "lack of understanding" about the extent of such abuse.
The UK government said it would not allow "any safe space for sex offenders to operate - male or female".
Between 2015 and 2019, the numbers of reported cases of female-perpetrated child sexual abuse to police in England and Wales rose from 1,249 to 2,297 - an increase of 84%.
Dr Andrea Darling, a criminology researcher at Durham University - who has looked at 40 cases of male and female teachers who sexually abused students - said the File on 4 figures represented the "tip of the iceberg".
She said that although all child sexual abuse was underreported, there was a particular "lack of understanding" of the extent of female-perpetrated abuse.
"That means that potentially abusive behaviour that may have been picked up if the perpetrator had been a male is explained away," she said.
"I've seen that consistently in my research."
She added it was "fundamentally important" to understand a lot more about this kind of child sexual abuse.
Nicola*, who is now in her mid 20s, was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by her mother from a young age.
She said the onset of puberty was a trigger for the escalation of sexual abuse.
"My appearance was quite a weapon for her, which would often lead into more severe stuff. She would criticise my body, and make me take my clothes off."
In common with many child sexual abuse victims, Nicola describes deep feelings of shame and self-loathing. She has never had a relationship, or any consensual sexual contact.
"I think people will see me as very dirty; which is what I feel myself.
"I don't feel anyone will believe me - how does a mother or a woman do this? I imagine that so strongly that it is a real inhibitor to talk about it. But women can rape."
Nicola's abuse only ended when she left home at 16.
She started going to counselling in 2018, after struggling to access the right treatment.
Katherine Cox, services manager with male and non-binary victim support charity Survivors UK, said she believes the File on 4 figures did not reflect an increase in abuse, but an increase in people feeling able to report to the authorities.
However, she added, far too many victims "believe they won't be believed".
"The prosecution rates are really low for any survivor," Ms Cox said.
"I think for a male survivor of female perpetrated abuse, the reality of getting a conviction is usually going to be extremely low."
Survivors UK have a waiting list of 10 months for its counselling services.
Of the 45 UK forces File on 4 asked for figures, 36 were able to provide data. Northern Ireland and Scotland said collating this information would take too long.
File on 4's data shows the gender split between male and female victims is roughly half.
Detective Superintendent Mark Lewis of South Wales Police, who oversees child sexual abuse cases for his force says although the number of cases of female abusers he has dealt with is small, there is "a taboo element" and the stigma victims face is "quite enormous".
"It's down to police to keep trying to give that reassurance to victims to report, regardless of their circumstances," he said.
The government said it would "not allow there to be any safe space for sex offenders to operate - either online or offline, male or female - and will do all we can to help survivors of abuse".
"To this end, we will soon publish a first of its kind strategy to tackle all forms of child sexual abuse, including that perpetrated by female offenders," a spokesperson said.
"We have also made significant increases to the national and local funding available to support victims of child sexual abuse."
The Northern Irish Department of Justice said it was "committed to ensuring victims of sexual abuse have access to co-ordinated support," and were introducing "court reforms to reduce delay and stress on victims and witnesses".
The Scottish government said it has "strengthened legislation and increased funding to make it easier for victims and survivors to speak out against abusers", and work is being carried out to "ensure better support for victims".
*Names have been changed to protect anonymity
Women who Abuse is on BBC Radio 4 on Tuesday 19 January at 20:00 GMT and will be available on BBC Sounds here .
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It’s time to acknowledge that child sexual abuse may happen in any home. Even yours.
It’s time to acknowledge that child sexual abuse may happen in any home. Even yours.
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My father raped me when I was 13 setting off five years of physical, sexual, mental and emotional abuse until I ran away from home when I was 18. I spent the next 27 years going from one abuser to another. In my mid forties, while living with my third abuser, suicidal, and living part time in a women's shelter, I entered a recovery program of my own making. Half way through recovery I found out that my 2nd husband had sexually abused my two older daughters. My youngest daughter had been raped at gunpoint when she was 17. This shows that children of an untreated child sexual abuse victim stand a five times greater chance of being abused themselves. It took five years for me to complete recovery, but I emerged the happiest person I knew, with my abuser finally gone. Today I am the author of five books on recovering from child sexual abuse, the REPAIR series and the Founder of The Lamplighter Movement, an international movement for recovery from incest and child sexual abuse. We currently have 93 chapters in thirteen countries, one of them in Islamabad, Pakistan. Our website is at http://www.thelamplighters.org. I am trying to get people to start Lamplighter Movement Chapters where they live. We desperately need safe places for people to go to share their stories and to know that they are not alone. If you could publish this in
Education is at the heart of all world problems. And from education stems awareness. Encouraging the Pakistani world, adults and children, to learn more might save us from this seeming epidemic.the fact of the matter is that our world is changing at an incredible rate, racing vehicles to the vast cyberspace. We are in full throttle headed for unknown consequences with all this technology. And again, I find that to educate is the only solution. If we know more about what our world is becoming we can better gauge how we need to adapt. But that's besides the point and I said the last two sentences in the hopes that people who are too ignorant to be educated are made aware of the illusory correlation between media exposure and sexual abuse. As someone mentioned above, sexual abuse has been happening for a very long time. Our technology which you blame for rapes and molestation has been around for less than half a century. The numbers don't add up there. I put all my bets up with education because it is the primal stage before everything. Learning, psychologically defined, is a relatively permanent change in behavior. In conclusion, I do not blame the rapists. The murderers or anyone else. I blame us, not me individually but US the society, the culture. All of you out there who are ready to hang and burn people at the stake, what makes you any better by thinking such a barbaric thought? Have you not committed a crime on some level? Learn. Learn. And THEN teach. Because if I had to place my hand in the fire and say that 75% of you know next to nothing about sexual abuse and it's effects I would do it, because I am that sure. I'm not blaming. Not asking for corporal punishment. Not asking for peace (that is impossible because the search for peace is human nature, not the attainability of it). I'm asking you to stop, research, learn and then speak.
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