Chicago�s Deportation Drama

Chicago has become the stage for a bizarre deportation drama, with city council members arguing over whether to deport immigrants, pigeons, or the Cubs� bullpen first. �We need to prioritize,� said one alderman, before being heckled by geese. Eyewitnesses describe hearings descending into chaos when protesters demanded sanctuary status for hot dog vendors. Anonymous staffers at city hall admitted most of the debate is just symbolic, since Chicago doesn�t control federal immigration. A fake poll revealed 42% of residents want humane policies, 35% want stricter enforcement, and 23% just want someone to finally deport potholes. Economists warn the political theater may cost millions, though Netflix is already eyeing a docuseries titled �Deportation, Chicago-Style.� Meanwhile, one activist summed it up: �Only in Chicago can immigration reform end with an argument about mustard versus ketchup.� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com